Naming Offs

[SoulKiss]

There I was, filtering up the road when out from in front of a van steps a woman, looking only in the opposite direction.

No, calm down - I didn't drop the Viffer, and no, it wasn't because of the ABS (which I hate).

So after yelling at her a bit, I realised that in my head I considered myself "nearly-Grinched" following his drop the other week in similar circumstances.

So here are the new names for types of offs/drops.

Soulkiss's 1st - A highside involving a steaming pile of horse cr@p at low speed

Soulkiss's 2nd - A lowside involving a patch of gravel on a poorly maintained corner.

Soulkiss Somersault - SMIDSY involving someone turning across your lane into a sideroad.

Grinch'd - losing it while avoiding a pedestrian who stepped out in front of you without looking.

Any more ?

David

PS. The purpose of this thread is mainly for humour value, and to let any newbies who read all the "X down" threads know, that while it happens - and sometimes hurts, in many cases its not the end of the world. I had a couple of other names ready but think that other people should choose to add their "maneouvers" themselves - although I added being Grinch'd as it was the inspiration for this thread

Plowsie'd, ran over a body part!



















It had to be coming!

[jambo]

If there's a straw hat involved it's a TSM

Originally Posted by plowsie

Plowsie'd, ran over a body part!

Ping creek'd... Bike's been off the road repeatedly for long durations since bought due to something always going wrong with it.

Learner Rider - duffed it whilst filtering on the motorway, my bad, too much front brake and down she goes. I was ok, 50mph accident. Wasn't actually a learner though.

Death Race 2000 - Had some ol duffer walk straight out in front of a van without looking, only to hear my horn, looks up, covers his face, bang straight into his side breaking his ribs I come off, I damaged my foot but was fundimentally ok. 15mph.

Pay No Attention - Got taken out by a car doing a U turn on a very busy road (Tooley Street, London) without looking or indicating. No-where to go, bounced off the car and flicked me off balance and down the road. Another 15mph accident.



Thats it touch wood. 3 accidents worth mentioning, and all i've walked away from, so in effect, whilst they were poo, im actually quite happy to have been mincing around and walking/talking still

If anything, that "instant" you know you aint gonna save the impact is bloody exciting, till you realise you've got to land somewhere hard

"Throwing it down the road, after trying to ride on ice I later found out I couldn't even walk on without slipping on" x 2
"Mystery front end slide at 60mph, possibly due to sticky tar, given the deposits on my boot and the second bike crash in exactly the same place, 15 minutes later."
"Lowsiding courtesy of the myopic old ****er who pulled out on a gravel-strewn roundabout, far too late for me to do anything to avoid him."
"Falling off at walking pace after turning into a road covered in 2" of mud at night, when I was a n00b"

Other ones that didn't technically involve me coming off:

"Nailing a deer at 60mph and splattering it over my boots and engine casing, whilst it selfishly entangled itself on my back brake lever, when it had already upset the front of the bike so much it banged from full lock to full lock, denting the stops in the process"
"Bike blowing over in spite of being in gear and properly on the stand & with a side puck when parked on the Veranda in the beacons in high winds"
"Dropping the bike moving it in the garage and being too weak with flu to catch it as I had in the past"
"Running wide after stupidly misreading roadsigns and going into an unfamiliar corner too fast. Completely my fault and resulted in my putting it up the grass verge on the opposite side of the road."

[SoulKiss]

Daimo/Kitkat

This isn't just another "list your offs thread"

You have to come up with a name for that type off off, and you cant rename someone elses.

So come on people some names please

Gotcha, will try to edit with new names

Edit, i cna't think of anything decent

Originally Posted by Ceri JC

"Nailing a deer at 60mph and splattering it over my boots and engine casing, whilst it selfishly entangled itself on my back brake lever, when it had already upset the front of the bike so much it banged from full lock to full lock, denting the stops in the process"

Thats a Dizzyblonde!

"The filtering/flying Pedro" - caused by filtering too fast, and not giving other road (cage) users the consideration they deserve, so when they decide to change lanes, you selfishly plant your bike into their front wing, and head straight over the bars, performing a 180 degree somersault (with a half-twist for good measure) and landing flat on your back in the space that the cager intended using

"The Blind Pedro" - occurs when taking any sort of "blind bend" without careful consideration for what might be around that bend ... in my case, an unsigned junction, which I proceeded to slide out of on my ar$e, and watching the bike skid a few feet in front of me (lowsider).

Ok, and this one isn't an off, but you may as well make use of my stupidity for your own amusement (like Plowsie) ...

Pedro (verb): meaning to forget to put oil in your bike and suffering a catastrophic engine failure in the process. eg. I pedro'd it literally meaning to kill the bike by not giving it the loving, care, maintenance, and respect it deserves.