I've been banned from Sainsbury's - SV650.org

23-11-10, 01:21 PM

Banned from Sainsbury's, didn't like shopping there anyway

Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had - an elephant?

On impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's ars* and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

munkygunn182 · 23-11-10, 01:27 PM

Supervox · 23-11-10, 01:38 PM

Please tell me you're not trying to claim this as your own are you ?

There are numerous versions around 'The Net'

Perhaps it might be better in future to include one of the following :-

"Shamelessly stolen from . . .

"Seen on another forum/website. . .

I think you get the drift, don't you?

Biker Biggles · 23-11-10, 01:39 PM

Which Sainsburys was that?I must go there and bark at the IAMS section.

tonyk · 23-11-10, 01:39 PM

LOL Thats the best i've heard in a lon time..........
might try it out..LOL

23-11-10, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Supervox

Please tell me you're not trying to claim this as your own are you ?

There are numerous versions around 'The Net'

Perhaps it might be better in future to include one of the following :-

"Shamelessly stolen from . . .

"Seen on another forum/website. . .

I think you get the drift, don't you?

No I am not claiming this as my own, I didn't write this one, but the KFC I wrote a while back....

23-11-10, 02:56 PM

hahahahahahaha etc

hey, thats given me an idea. we should have a seperate section for jokes and interesting things so it doesnt clog up the site too much

oh.

andrewsmith · 23-11-10, 03:35 PM

dizzyblonde · 23-11-10, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andrewsmith

I've not laughed so hard for ages

+1

SoulKiss · 23-11-10, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keithd

hahahahahahaha etc

hey, thats given me an idea. we should have a seperate section for jokes and interesting things so it doesnt clog up the site too much

oh.

I was just about to add that maybe he should also be banned from Idle Banter for just this reason...

23-11-10, 01:21 PM	#1
metalmonkey Guest Posts: n/a	I've been banned from Sainsbury's Banned from Sainsbury's, didn't like shopping there anyway Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had - an elephant? On impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's ars* and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

23-11-10, 01:27 PM	#2
munkygunn182 Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Paisley Posts: 330	Re: I've been banned from Sainsbury's __________________ 2014 Triumph Explorer 1997 Honda VTR1000 - project bike - now working!

23-11-10, 01:38 PM	#3
Supervox No more Mr Nice Guy Mega Poster Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Saaafffend, innit !! Posts: 1,365	Re: I've been banned from Sainsbury's Please tell me you're not trying to claim this as your own are you ? There are numerous versions around 'The Net' Perhaps it might be better in future to include one of the following :- "Shamelessly stolen from . . . "Seen on another forum/website. . . I think you get the drift, don't you? __________________ Never argue with an idiot - he'll drag you down to his level and then beat you with experience

23-11-10, 01:39 PM	#4
Biker Biggles Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Barnet Herts Posts: 5,071	Re: I've been banned from Sainsbury's Which Sainsburys was that?I must go there and bark at the IAMS section. __________________ On a clear day we stand there and look further than the ordinary eye can see.

23-11-10, 01:39 PM	#5
tonyk Member Mega Poster Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: On the beach... Posts: 1,486	Re: I've been banned from Sainsbury's LOL Thats the best i've heard in a lon time.......... might try it out..LOL __________________ "Meh" - ASM Forever, RIP. 13/03/1986 - 05/04/2008 "Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and clear all doubts." Some days its not even worth chewing through the restraints...

23-11-10, 02:56 PM	#7
keithd Guest Posts: n/a	Re: I've been banned from Sainsbury's hahahahahahaha etc hey, thats given me an idea. we should have a seperate section for jokes and interesting things so it doesnt clog up the site too much oh.

23-11-10, 03:35 PM	#8
andrewsmith Member Mega Poster Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, Just south of salad dodging country Posts: 7,750	Re: I've been banned from Sainsbury's __________________ RIP Reeder 20/07/1988 - 21/03/2012. Always missed squire!!! Every year we meet old friends, gain some new ones, lose old ones and you always remember them all. “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” Mahatma Gandhi

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