stood up ....... again

i have been seeing this girl for a few weeks, although we have only met once, we text each other all the time, and she phones me 3-4 times a week,

anywho, we have a aranged 4 dates, and she has only turned up to the one.

the first date her son fell off a wall and had to go to hospital,
the 2nd date she could not get any to look after the kids, so she asked if she could bring them, i treid to get out of it, as i thought it would be awkwad, but we had a great time
the 3rd date she said her son was taken in to hospital with breathing problems,
last night she was due to pick me up at 7pm, she text to say she would be a few mins late at 6.40, but she never came i text her at 8pm then phoned at 8.30pm, but no reply
i got a text off her phone at 11.30, saying it was her couisin and that she was not feeling well.

i realy dont know where i stand, she tells me on text that she loves me and wants to be with me, but there always seems to be somthing getting in the way, i think shes too good for me, so am thinking she may get a better offer, i dont think she would lie about her kid going to hospital, i would hope not anyway.

[tigersaw]

Originally Posted by hovis

i think shes too good for me,

No such thing

[SoulKiss]

Originally Posted by tigersaw

No such thing

+1

Couple of weeks and 1 "date" and she "loves" you...

Thats not a reflection on you Breadman, its just that word gets chucked around a bit easily and is VERY manipulative.

If you keep on with it, if you get in a situation like the last one, dont keep calling, just wait till she gets in touch - if there is a situation then she would probably appreciate you backing off and letting her deal with it, or if she's just playing games, well she loses any feedback.

Kids do add a lot of complication to peoples lives, so dont write it off straight away.

End of the day, no-one is worth you feeling the way you seem to be in your post.

[Lissa]

Having had kids, I can confirm that the little sods are always doing something to themselves. I almost had to have spaces pre-booked in our local casualty department for my two lads.

I really hope this works out for you, Hovis.

i think shes too good for me, so am thinking she may get a better offer

Nonsense Hovis! I dont know you but there isnt anyone on this planet that is too good for someone you - or any one else! Sounds like shes playing you as a convinience relationship.

The fact that you have posted your feelings on the issue suggest your not happy with the way things are panning out and its hit your self esteem so bin her! There is someone out there for everyone, clearly not worth beating yourself up for.

Could be way off the mark with the above but never settle for 'that'll do' in loves stakes - worse than not wearing your ferking leathers!

Good luck as always!

nb650

I'm inclined to agree with SK, 'Love' gets bandied about a lot.
I know that this isnt a good start, but there may be an honest reason behind it.

You will know what your heart tells you as opposed to your head and no-one else can make this decision for you.

As for her being 'too good' for you, well that is a matter of opinion....clearly yours!

Ive never met you but you seem like a kind and caring person who has their head screwed on properly and you should NEVER sell yourself short.

Mr VT told me that when we became friends he thought that I was 'out of his league' and 'too good for him' and that he would normally have never have asked a 'girl like me' out......and it was only due to exceptional circumstances which pushed us closer, he plucked up the courage to ask me out.

HOWEVER...It never even crossed my mind and was shocked when told me that he had felt like that.

I think a lot of people suffer from this and yet most of the time it is one sided. I would never entertain 'leading someone on' if I had no intention of seeing a relationship through.


You need to weigh up this relationship and work out if its worth pursuing, if not, end it and move on, there is someone out there for all of us, we just have to find them first.

Just dont get hurt, trust your gut instincts and if something is telling you that something is not quite right, it just might not be....Be careful x

Originally Posted by nakedblue650

never settle for 'that'll do' in loves stakes

+1

Originally Posted by hovis

last night she was due to pick me up at 7pm, she text to say she would be a few mins late at 6.40, but she never came i text her at 8pm then phoned at 8.30pm, but no reply
i got a text off her phone at 11.30, saying it was her couisin and that she was not feeling well.

This lady does not sem to have very good manner Mr H. It would not have taken much effort on her behalf to send you a text (or better still spoken to you) to let you know she was unable to make it.

I personally would not expend any more emotional capital on this lady, but ymmv.

[fizzwheel]

Originally Posted by hovis

i realy dont know where i stand

So ask her, but be prepared in the back of your mind for the fact that you might not like the answer.

No point starting out on a relationship, making arrangements etc and then not turning up you'll end up not trusting her and then it'll never work.

I'm sure she has a genuine reason, but IMHO she should be polite enough to tell you what it is if she has to cancel.

No-one is ever "out of your league" I thought that once with somebody and I think now that is made me not be confident around her and in our relationship and I feel sure that me feeling like that contributed in some way to the fact we ended up splitting up.

Hovis - talk to her and see what she says. Seems a bit weird to say "I'm on my way" and then not turn up.

[gruntygiggles]

Well, first of all, you already know that I won't listen to you say you're not good enough or she's out of your league or anything like that. That's bollix....but if you feel that way, others will pick up on it.

I would let this woman tell you herself what happened on the last date as no-one here will have a clue. It could be anything. She could have had the father of the kids come round unexpectedly and give her a hard time....she may not want to tell you that for fear of scaring you off and had to come up with an excuse and not easily be able to contact you.

That is of course just an example, but an example that shows that there may be a perfectly reasonable explanation for why she was so vague.

The only thing about your OP that concerns me is the fact that she says she loves you? You have been on one date and to me, that is too soon to know if you love someone or not, but the term is used by some very easily nowadays I suppose.

Just talk to her hunny........give her the benefit of the doubt, let her know that if she is always honest with you you'll always be willing to deal with it and if then, her answers don't satisfy you or you have any sort of feeling that she's taking you for a ride, move on.

You're a top bloke and you know you are, so don't go selling yourself short!!!

Hovis you need to work on your self worth.... nobody is too good for you. It can be a difficult thing to do but start to love yourself and feel worthy of all you attract. Insecurity can sabotage a relationship, change your way of thinking and truly believe that you are the catch, not her! x