Calling all .Org Law

To avoid any derail in the Blackwell Tunnel thread, following on from this post by RH

Originally Posted by Red Herring

I've never had the bottle to actually try and prosecute someone for simply driving to slowly, however if someone is clearly holding up traffic then they would definitely get pulled over to find out why. If somebody is driving particularly badly there is usually a reason, like they're either blind drunk or more likely these days they just don't have a licence. It's like people who sit in the middle lane at 70mph (or less). They just look at you in complete disbelief when you try and suggest they ought to use the "lorry" lane occasionally! Ignorance is bliss so it seems.

For a bit of a chuckle / some light hearted ness on a Wednesday morning I'd like to know from the Org law what their oddest / funniest / general most comedic 'bust' has been.
Eg I'd love for one you to tell us you've had to chase on foot one of those old biddy scooters attempting to make the slowest get-away possible.

I got pulled over when I was about 18 in High Wycombe (fill of mini-roundabouts) and the reason I was given was that my back wheel went over a mini-roundabout (it was a painted one rather than a raised one, and it was such a tight turn, I couldn't see how I could have avoided it).

[Bri w]

One from my Bro in law, now retired from the force.

He got a call to a house where the owners had gone away for a few days leaving a snappy, irritating Yorkshire terrier yapping in the back garden - the neighbours had called it in.

He climbs over the fence, and ties a bit of string to its collar before climbing back over the fence. On his climb back he slips and fall into the neighbour's garden but the dog falls on the other side of the fence. On peering over the fence he finds he's hung the dog, breaking its neck. Unfortunately this is seen by the neighbour, and in a effort at gallows humour he asks the neighbour is there anyone else they'd like him to sort out.

A black mark goes down on his record, and during the 30yrs on the job he never works the Dog Patrol.

Most of my cringe moments come from sudden deaths rather than traffic. Morbid i know and not funny at the time but you seem to get the childish giggles over the smallest thing.

I recall one time where the gent who had passed was in excess of 20+ stone and there was no way my colleagues and i and the ambulance crew were carrying him down the tight staircase of his 'two up, two down' terraced house.

We unfortunately had to drag him down the stairs with his head hitting the steps as it went down.

Picture the family in attendance literally howling at every thud as they were mourning in the lounge directly below the stairs and you had what my skipper happily calls a '****in' drama !!'

[timwilky]

Ok, guilty of going very very slow on a motorway.

Back in the days of my old job. I was preping a truck for its type approval. and trying to check the accuracy of the speedo. the easiest way was to use the marker posts on the motorway and a stop watch. So a few miles on the M6 at silly o'clock on a sunday morning with the driver on overtime.

I will tell you something, them pot holes are huge when you see them at 10mph.

10mph on the motorway, lol priceless.

How soon after getting pulled were you breathalised for that one?

[timwilky]

Not pulled. I could imagine the copper trying to fill in his forms.

Registration number = Trade plates
Make/model = Not got one yet it is a prototype

To be truthful about stuff, we started the accuracy checks at 30mph, and as the motorway was so quiet dropped to 25, 20,15,10. We probably only did about 5 miles at each speed (felt like a crawl) but as there was sod all other traffic it was safe and we would have abandoned the lower speed checks should we have been a problem to others. And besides which the test driver needed to stretch his premium rate overtime.

[gruntygiggles]

Well, I got pulled over in the old Land Rover 90 on the Lawrence Hill roundabout a few years back. I was in the left lane, police car in the right lane sat at lights waiting to go. The roundabout in front splits into four lanes....all clearly marked. My left lane either goes into one of the two new far left lanes towards the M32 OR.....as is clearly marked, it also goes straight on to go up the A420 into St. George. The right hand lane only goes right towards the A4 or back into the city.

Lights went green, I pulled away, staying in my lane, and within 30 ft, blue lights and a quick blast of the siren! I pulled up in a bus stop on the A420, just off the roundabout and the copper got me into the back of the patrol car and told me in a rather annoyed tone that I had almost hit him as I cut straight across into his lane without even looking, "and you should not be on the road young lady".

What followed was me in complete disbelief asking him to go and drive the roundabout again and would he please care to LOOK AT THE LANE MARKERS AND PAINTED ARROWS this time. He refused, I got annoyed. He got more annoyed, I got upset (my young cousin had died the very day before). He thought I was stupid for crying at which point I told him he was a f'ing moron and it was HIM that shouldn't be on the road.

I then noticed the other copper walking back to the car giggling......he then turned around and informed his colleague that I was right, he was wrong and he would have been at fault for driving into me if there had been a collision as I was in the correct lane. He apologised very poorly and let me go.

What makes this funny is that this roundabout is only 300 yards from the police station, he probably drives it 20 times a day.

What wasn't funny was my then boyfriend seeing me upset and going over all guns blazing to scream at the policemen for upsetting me when I'd done nothing wrong.

[Mr Speirs]

chavs in. They passed her and then slowed right down so my mum overtook them again shortly afterwards. They then sped up and overtook my mum again and again slowed down, this happened quite few times each time the slowing down became more sudden and erratic (dangerous) until once when they went passed they all started giving my mum the finger and generally rude gestures.

The car then brakes again so my mum overtakes them, equals their speed where again you have these Chavs giving her the finger until my sister pulls out her warrant card, presses it against the window and mouths 'PACK IT IN' to them. There faces dropped and went bright red. Brilliant.

They then stayed a few cars back for the rest of the journey.

[gruntygiggles]

Originally Posted by Mr Speirs

chavs in. They passed her and then slowed right down so my mum overtook them again shortly afterwards. They then sped up and overtook my mum again and again slowed down, this happened quite few times each time the slowing down became more sudden and erratic (dangerous) until once when they went passed they all started giving my mum the finger and generally rude gestures.

The car then brakes again so my mum overtakes them, equals their speed where again you have these Chavs giving her the finger until my sister pulls out her warrant card, presses it against the window and mouths 'PACK IT IN' to them. There faces dropped and went bright red. Brilliant.

They then stayed a few cars back for the rest of the journey.

I managed to get someone followed and pulled for doing this to me. My then bosses brother was quite high up in Glos police and so I called my boss, he called his brother and they had an unmarked car meet me on the A40 to Cheltenham. They watched him do it to me a few times and pulled him...I was allowed to go on to my party