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Old 09-08-11, 08:58 PM   #1
Ed
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Default Advice on subtlety needed please

Subtlety and diplomacy are not my strong points. I want to say something to somebody - see below - but how to say it? Incidentally yes this is a serious post.

I've got a short term job for the summer. Anyway at the desk facing me sits John (not real name), a work experience lad. He's 21, nice bloke but one thing drives me mad. He sits biting his nails all day. Ordinarily each to their own but this is driving me nuts, in my peripheral vision I can see him gnawing, he then stops for a few minutes, looks at his fingers, and starts over. I'm not talking nibbling, I mean constant biting. His fingers look really painful, there's next to nothing left, a few mil and that's it. I can think of bad habits far worse than this but his fingers look so painful.

How can I say FFS mate you got to stop this...

Or should I just mind my own business?
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Old 09-08-11, 08:59 PM   #2
Ed
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Default Re: Advice on subtlety needed please

oops should be in IB, can a mod please move.
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Old 09-08-11, 09:01 PM   #3
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Default Re: Advice on subtlety needed please

Even if you do say it in the right way Ed, I doubt he'll stop, as its a habitual thing he's doing

I've got someone on my team who picks his fingers till they bleed.

My office is next door, so I don't see it
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Old 09-08-11, 09:02 PM   #4
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Default Re: Advice on subtlety needed please

I'm not very subtle. I'd just say wtf are you doing to those nails? You won't have anything left if you carry on like that. But I'm used to working on a building site where people don't ever bite their tongue
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Old 09-08-11, 09:07 PM   #5
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Default Re: Advice on subtlety needed please

Moved to IB.
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Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

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Old 09-08-11, 09:07 PM   #6
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Default Re: Advice on subtlety needed please

You wouldnt do any harm making a bit of a joke about it 1st Ed, something like, hey John, you bloody hungry or something? Every time i look up your chewing on your fingers After that the response depends on his reaction. If he says lol yeah i always do it, you could then add something like, hope u wash ur hands after u`ve had a dump or something similar and once you have engaged with him it becomes easier. If he goes on the defensive then more tact is required. You fill him with crap like, i used to do exactly the same myself when i was at uni blah blah blah, show some compassion and he might be grateful of a nudge to go and see a doc. Thats what i`do anyway
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Old 09-08-11, 09:08 PM   #7
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Default Re: Advice on subtlety needed please

Check my nails next time Ed - I'm like the kid but been at it for about 16 years longer.

You bet its painful, but its habitual and i some cases you bite to get rid of a painful bit, but that just makes it more painful 9 times out of 10.

Half the time I don't realise I am doing it until I feel pain.

Best you will do is embarrass him, it wont make him stop tho.
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Old 09-08-11, 09:09 PM   #8
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Default Re: Advice on subtlety needed please

Just ask him if hes hungry!
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Old 09-08-11, 09:10 PM   #9
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Default Re: Advice on subtlety needed please

this is why i will never work indoors
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Old 09-08-11, 09:10 PM   #10
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Default Re: Advice on subtlety needed please

If it were me I'd keep quiet its not like its actually doing you any harm is it ?

It would IMHO be different if he didnt wash and he stunk, but nail biting wouldnt be something I would bother raising with him TBH.
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