Rictus

Originally Posted by rictus01

missing and where.

Don't take this the wrong way, thanks very much but I'll stick to the kisses from the ladies.

Cheers Mark.

Phew *wipes brow* thank god for that and it seems there are plenty of ladies.

P.S. Mark if i can be of any help RE: AR 2007 planning just drop me a PM, maybe have a few bit's of local knowlege to impart.

anyway here's a

[rictus01]

Indeed the ladies have taken good care of me, as to AE07 (AR07 being part of the Event) expect developments in January.

Cheers Mark.

For those that do not know.

AE = Annual Event. AR being the Annual Rideout. Evolution you see.

and just in case anyone is still confused, 07 = 2007



mark - good to hear you've escaped the cast at last. does this mean us girls will get treated to a flash of leg when we pop round for a visit now??

Originally Posted by rictus01

Indeed the ladies have taken good care of me, as to AE07 (AR07 being part of the Event) expect developments in January.

Cheers Mark.

happy new year sweetheart xx how are you ???? no sign of you for a while us peeps are getting a bit worried

your bbc loonpot xxxxxxxxx

Originally Posted by RizlaSV

does this mean us girls will get treated to a flash of leg when we pop round for a visit now??

I can confirm that this is indeed now the case

Originally Posted by BernardBikerchick

[no sign of you for a while us peeps are getting a bit worried

I was up there yesterday for quite some time and he is alive and kicking (I mean this literally - have seen a demonstration of how long it takes him to kick something. At this stage I'd squarely put my money on the other team winning, but he deffo gets 'man of the match' for effort)

[rictus01]

I'm still here, well in fact I'm a most predictable person these days as I can't really do anything or go anywhere else

In an effort to not throw a dampener on anyone else's festive fun I've refrained from posting, as my mum would say "if you've got nothing good to say, don't say anything at all".

The best I could manage was to not so much dealing with things over this period, but more pushing everyone away and enduring the time on my own (as apposed to the irrational feeling to beat anyone to a bloodied pulp who wished me a merry this or happy that ), spent most of Christmas day, all of boxing day and the New year in a very dark mood, but at least the wife and son got to spend the time with others enjoying the merriment instead of stuck here with me.

In essence, I've a deeper understanding of the depression side of Christmas than I previously possessed.

I'll draw a line under that now and move on from here.


Day 88

Physical.

I guess I should start from when the cast was removed, it did feel good, I had 5-6 days where I just spent most of the time sleeping (and I really needed it too), but as seems to be the case with this thing then the other shoe dropped

Christmas eve in the evening the leg introduced my to the next faze of pains. Every thing from a feeling of ice water dripped on the skin or perhaps a bit of freezing steel touched somewhere; all the way through to sharp stabbing pains. these would start and stop at will, ranging from seconds to hours on end, not linked to any movement I could discern and absolutely nothing I could do about them, this ment that sleep was once again all but impossible and exhaustive sleep for the odd hour here and there is all I've managed since, I'm down the GP's tomorrow for something else to help me sleep as the lack of this makes dealing with the knee a loosing battle, not to mention fighting through the mental molasses it induces.

The knee itself ?, well after a concerted effort I've found I can't straighten it no matter what, soft tissue prevents in from going back far enough (about 5' off) having tried beyond the point of pain and to the blacking out stage, trust me it's not me stopping it, it just won't get there

Bending, well although I'm allowed the 45' stuff I can get about 60' but don't know whether that's god or bad at this stage so won't try pushing beyond this for now.

Everything is very slow and takes a real effort which hasn't improved, but I think I know why

Looking at the leg in comparison to the other it's a different shape , I'm not talking about the knee here , but the thigh muscles.

this should help.




I seem to be missing the Stratorius and both Vastus muscles from that side , leaving only the Rectus Femoris to raise the lower leg.

I haven't been told these muscles are gone and I think they are just not connected through the knee anymore and hanging flaccid so will need surgery to connect back up
Now this effectively means I've the use of one off the four muscles you would normally have, I'll confirm this with the consultant when I'm there next.

All this means I'm at an impass as I can do no more to progress thing and once again it's a case of just waiting.

Phycological.

Well I guess I'd have to say, taking out the Christmas stuff (which is a real kick in the head, just when you don't need it), I've got a spiral routine of fairly good days eroding to unmanageable (through lack of sleep) at times, this is normally re-started by something like someone visiting me or new painkillers or something else, I guess it's a fairly normal depression cycle, but not having been here before I really don't know.

I should be able to pull myself out of it and sometimes can, but most times it's just easier to let it wash over you.


So that's where I am, just killing time until the Doc's say they can do their stuff, another four weeks to go


Cheers Mark.
(having a good day today, thanks Si/Deb )

Well, killing Time is better than killing anything else I guess - but he is an elusive bugger and keeps coming back for more.

I had guessed right with the ol' 'which muscles are which'. Yay me. :P

I guess the small comfort in knowing there's nothing more you can really do is that there's nothing more that you can really do!
Just keep up the good work so far and channel your anger towards the state of the NHS.

Hello Mark,

hope you not in a mood to bash me but I was reading your post and some of the symptoms you are having are similar to my experiences so I thought I'd comment.

The knee itself ?, well after a concerted effort I've found I can't straighten it no matter what, soft tissue prevents in from going back far enough (about 5' off) having tried beyond the point of pain and to the blacking out stage, trust me it's not me stopping it, it just won't get there

This is common in multiple ligament injuries and when you have had whatever surgery is needed to fix it then scar tissue and shortened muscles etc will take over and make a strait leg quiet hard to achieve. My prang was 3 years ago and I can't fully get a strait leg. As long as you can get close then you can get away with walking about without locking out but it takes about 20% more effort with each step. This is not a big deal really since in real terms it's like taking the effort of 10 miles for every 8 you walk if that makes sense.

Bending, well although I'm allowed the 45' stuff I can get about 60' but don't know whether that's god or bad at this stage so won't try pushing beyond this for now.

This is probably the main problem that knee injuries can throw up. I have been pushing this with Gym/Swim/physio/Hydro since my rebuild in May 05 and can just about get past 90 degrees if I warm up but from cold it's less than 90 degrees. Not a major problem except you tend to trip everybody up on trains and buses and you will need a certain amount of bend to reach the foot-pegs on a bike. At 6ft 2 and mostly leg I still can't get my foot on an SV foot-peg. If you can get 60degrees then that's pretty OK, don't push to hard until you get the go-ahead from your doctor.

Looking at the leg in comparison to the other it's a different shape , I'm not talking about the knee here , but the thigh muscles

Yep, same here. 3 years down the line and my left thigh is thinner (but thicker than it was) and my knee and calf are totally different in each leg. My doc tells me it will always be different as basically most of the bits in the knee knee are either re-built missing or replaced with bits of dead people so the muscles above and below the knee support it in different ways and take on new shapes. That's why when I do thigh exercises my calf and buttocks burn. the body gets very good at working around injuries.

You say 4 weeks to go (less now) but do you know what they plan to do yet. Have you had an MRI, do they plan to rebuild ligaments from your own donated hamstring, or artificial or Allograph (cadaver donated ligament) There are lots of options with knees.

I Had two cadaver donated ligaments for ACL & PCL and one of my own hamstrings was nicked to fix the LCL and the fourth ligament was just left but 3 out of 4 ain't bad.

I would insist your surgeon is a knee specialist. With multiple ligament and knee structure repairs as decisions like whether to do one big fix or if 3 smaller surgeries, and if you want a choice on type of graft etc will have to be made. I opted for the do it all in 1 hit, I know it meant 3 months again of non weight bearing but when I was allowed to start pushing my recovery then I knew It would not be put on hold for any more surgery.

Good luck and keep us updated, I know half the battle is in the mind and that I haven't got a clue about.

[rictus01]

Day 95

Physical

well not alot has changed, perhaps the knee isn't as loose as before, I can manage about 15 minutes supporting the foot upright without the brace, or it could just be me .

lost all my appetite which is playing havoc with my diabetes, the Mrs has been great and gets me whatever food I want, I just can't eat it, I'm just about holding my own floating around the 9.5-10 stone mark, 5' to about 50' isn't to much of a problem. but if I don't move it for 20 minutes or so I have to go through a tightness pain before it will move at all, so I've got in the habit of avoiding it by flexing the leg all the time, which also helps with the ache which builds about every 20 minutes or so anyway.

the single thigh muscle I have has got a little more tone, not building up or anything, but then again not wasting either, bit concerned the three that aren't attached will be shortening and I can't do anything about it.

Physiological

Although I got sleeping pills on Monday, they worked for all of one night, even after doubling the dose on Wednesday they still weren't touching the sides, haven't had anything like a nights sleep all week now, the mental fog takes increasing effort to work threw, back to the GP's tomorrow, see what else they've got ?

A maintenance of sanity in the form of Jo (Mrs Ape) on Thursday and Si (BigApe) on Friday, was most welcome, Simon (Mr Toad) also called in yesterday.

Just coasting through as of now, don't feel I've achieved anything in ages and the 29th (next hosp appointment) seems miles away.

hopefully will get some assisted sleep tomorrow, as I've got some paperwork to do which can't be put off, but of now I can't concentrate.

and that's about it for now.

Cheers Mark.