A day of troublesome Toilet activity - Warning!!!!!

Well I have just returned from the Bathroom YET again . I was watching some comedian on TV and made the mistake of laughing . The laughter stopped very suddenly and I made my way upstairs to the kingdom of Boggtopia . I sat down and produced a sound that could only have been made by a Pod of Dolphins . The smell is very bad now and my intestines are chugging and churning . Toilet paper has never felt so abrasive and my Rusty Sherriff`s Badge must look like a Blood Orange . I am frightened to go to bed as there is a pain in my lower stomache and I know what that means .....................

eat as much toast as you can (eat it on the sh*tter if you have to) i had exactly the same simptoms about 3 years ago and the toast helped stop the rear end fountain......

I actually have less than bugger all to eat here ........ unless you count the 2 Venison Steaks in my fridge and I aint going anywhere near those . I have just glommed down a huge bowl of Alpen and already there is an avalanche and Gut-Quakes going on ..... in fact , I better go nearer the Thundermug as I can feel a Pan-Splattering is about to ensue .

Originally Posted by xXBADGERXx

I actually have less than bugger all to eat here ........ unless you count the 2 Venison Steaks in my fridge and I aint going anywhere near those . I have just glommed down a huge bowl of Alpen and already there is an avalanche and Gut-Quakes going on ..... in fact , I better go nearer the Thundermug as I can feel a Pan-Splattering is about to ensue .

loverly

what about biscuts? any thing like that will do

Well the last time I went to the lav , according to the forum , was around 1:15 . I just went back upstairs and as I got to the bottom of the stairs I could smell it , now that was over an hour ago . I sat down almost gagging and "Popped the Cork" and the torrent continued . Oh my god , I want this to end , when will the Horror end ?

PS. The Alpen is sitting in my stomache like a Bowling Ball on a stretched Rubber sheet ....... I am going to regret eating that .

well when your selling all your kit due to massive instant weight loss i'll have it off ya bruv, for a significant discount of course

Originally Posted by davepreston

well when your selling all your kit due to massive instant weight loss i'll have it off ya bruv, for a significant discount of course

Dude , you could fit inside a Pepperami Skin your so skinny , you ain`t big enough to fill the Rukka of the Mighty Badger

lmao, ohh dear you must have major ring sting

I have seriously considered , and I mean this , about smearing some Ice cream into my Gary Glitter , it hurts so much ....... but it would be a waste of Pistachio Ice Cream . I might text the Badgeress and get her to bring me some nice and soothing Mint Ice cream

haha for a minut there i could see u runing round screaming with a ice cube stuck to ure ass hahah ROLF