Divorce tips please

I'm very lucky but some close friends of mine have not been so. What Bri and KG says is true in my experience where kids are concerned. Despite all the angst, anger and pain if the Guy could be a good Dad, but not a good husband, keep things open between the Dad and the kids, don't shut him out, for the kids sake. IMHO.

Good Luck, and NO BUBBLING!

[Biker Biggles]

From the experience of a mate of mine,the lawyers will take everything so no point in slugging it out that way as there will be nothing left.Sort it out between you or lose it all.

Can't offer suitable advice really but more virtual hugs coming your way, it's never easy that D word, especially with children involved. #hugs#

If he is the guilty party your Solicitor can make an application for costs against him to cover all your bills.

If the split is by mutual agreement you both end up paying your own.

Just going through it myself but when it's all sorted I plan on being the proud owner of a Honda VT1300CX Fury. Something to look forward to once all the crap is over. Keeps me going having a dream....

Good luck to you and your girls

[ixlr8]

Not good. been there, etc. Try to negotiate as much as possible without a solicitor but "in the manner of a solicitor", i.e. know your and the girls' rights, leave your hurt and sadness aside, and be relentlessly solution-focussed and call him on it if he's not.
Don't let any "who done who wrong" arise, it's irrelevant and unhelpful to the settlement and if necessary, say so.
Be careful not to easily give entitlements away for the sake of peace, you may regret it later at your leisure. Only use solicitor when stuck.
My 0.02's worth.
Best of luck.

Thank you all so much. Knew I could rely on you lot!
Laughed and bubbled at some of the replies!
xxxxxxx

Fighting, anger and bitterness will only achieve heartache.

Some people are just better off apart than together.

You can never reach a conclusion through arguing, that only comes when you calm down and start talking. If you can't do that the solicitors have to do it and only they win from that.

In years to come when the little one is a teenager, you are both settled with new partners, the wounds have healed, any bitterness has faded, and you can stand on the doorstep and have a civil conversation with each other and even a laugh (maybe you can now and if so that's great), you'll wonder why you had to do all the fighting you are perhaps doing now.

You don't have to.

Take Care x

[Paul the 6th]

Superglue the wipers on car windscreen, dog muck under the car door handles and prank phone calls at all hours...

That's the CSA taken care of, as for the ex I don't really have any helpful advice but good luck

Originally Posted by specialone

Maybe ride over his testicles with a motorcycle? Won't help financially but will lift your mood

With a very fat pillion and extra heavy luggage?!
If I'm going to do something I better do it right! Thanks, made me laugh pet x

Dawn, I left my husband nearly four years ago when our kids were 2,6 and 8. It was incredibly difficult, made worse by him being happy to say any old cr@p to the kids to get them to feel sorry for him. Mediation was a disaster and the solicitor just wanted his blood and didnt seem to think about what was best for the kids so in the end it was down to the two of us to agree maintenance and access and somehow, eventually we came up with an agreement that works for us both, and most importantly the kids.
Its taken a long time for all the resentment and bitterness to subside but we are finally at a point where we can spend time together with the kids and not have them worrying about whats gonna be said and where we can be flexible about access arrangements.
Some days the situation seemed totally impossible and I dont know where I found the strength to deal with everything but with hindsight I still believe leaving was the right thing to do and that the kids are better off being shared between two happy households than growing up in a tense, hostile environment.

I hope it all works out well for you all xx