The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes - Page 12 - SV650.org

26-01-12, 04:50 PM

When I heard Stephen Hawkins had reached 70 I thought f00k me that's a powerful wheelchair!

26-01-12, 04:52 PM

After landing myself in jail I spent the next hour bring relentlessly bummed.

Sometimes I think my uncle takes monopoly far too seriously!

26-01-12, 04:59 PM

Dear Deirdre,

I was watching my next door neighbours daughter sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was knocking one out I noticed my wife just stood there, arms folded, watching me.

Is my wife a pervert?

26-01-12, 05:03 PM

My wife has just come home screaming and shouting at me 'you've given me crabs you dirty b*stard!'

I said 'woah, just hang on a minute, before you start blaming me have a word with your sister!'

26-01-12, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1210tech

When I heard Stephen Hawkins had reached 70 I thought f00k me that's a powerful wheelchair!

26-01-12, 05:05 PM

I was shagging a bird the other night when she said 'don't put it up my arris'

I had to explain to her that it's traditional for the person holding the knife to make those decisions!

26-01-12, 05:08 PM

Apparently wrapping your c0k in a copy of the Beano while having a wank is not classed as Comic Relief

26-01-12, 05:15 PM

The Pope gets shot on his visit to the UK and is rushed to hospital.
On the way to the operating theatre he whispers to the nurse 'Am I in heaven?'
The nurse replies 'No, we're just taking a short cut through the children's ward'

26-01-12, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1210tech

Apparently wrapping your c0k in a copy of the Beano while having a wank is not classed as Comic Relief

26-01-12, 05:22 PM

I was asked to go and see an ex-girlfriend today. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex. The Police weren't too pleased. Apparently, I was only meant to be identifying the body.......

26-01-12, 05:05 PM	#116
1210tech Guest Posts: n/a	I was shagging a bird the other night when she said 'don't put it up my arris' I had to explain to her that it's traditional for the person holding the knife to make those decisions! Last edited by 1210tech; 26-01-12 at 05:10 PM.

26-01-12, 05:08 PM	#117
1210tech Guest Posts: n/a	Apparently wrapping your c0k in a copy of the Beano while having a wank is not classed as Comic Relief Last edited by 1210tech; 26-01-12 at 05:09 PM.

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26-01-12, 04:50 PM	#111
1210tech Guest Posts: n/a	When I heard Stephen Hawkins had reached 70 I thought f00k me that's a powerful wheelchair!

26-01-12, 04:52 PM	#112
1210tech Guest Posts: n/a	After landing myself in jail I spent the next hour bring relentlessly bummed. Sometimes I think my uncle takes monopoly far too seriously!

26-01-12, 04:59 PM	#113
1210tech Guest Posts: n/a	Dear Deirdre, I was watching my next door neighbours daughter sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was knocking one out I noticed my wife just stood there, arms folded, watching me. Is my wife a pervert?

26-01-12, 05:03 PM	#114
1210tech Guest Posts: n/a	My wife has just come home screaming and shouting at me 'you've given me crabs you dirty b*stard!' I said 'woah, just hang on a minute, before you start blaming me have a word with your sister!'

26-01-12, 05:15 PM	#118
1210tech Guest Posts: n/a	The Pope gets shot on his visit to the UK and is rushed to hospital. On the way to the operating theatre he whispers to the nurse 'Am I in heaven?' The nurse replies 'No, we're just taking a short cut through the children's ward'

26-01-12, 05:22 PM	#120
1210tech Guest Posts: n/a	I was asked to go and see an ex-girlfriend today. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex. The Police weren't too pleased. Apparently, I was only meant to be identifying the body.......