The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here

...is sat at a bar when all of a sudden a thug gets up and smaks him in the face and says,
"That's Kung Fu from Japan.

A little while later the thug smacks him again and says,
"That's Karate from Korea".

The little guy gets up and leaves.

A short while later the little guy returns and smacks the thug, knocking him out cold.
He turns to the Barman and says,

"When he wakes up, tell him that was a shovel from B&Q"

I need a giggle, anyone know any good jokes?

I got 1 that i was sent today.


0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really ****ed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

bloke comes home from work and says to his wife,
"get us a beer will ya before it starts"
she gets him a beer and he drinks it straight away and says,
"get us a beer will ya before it starts"
she gets him another beer and he drinks it straight away and says,
"get us another beer will ya before it starts"
she gets him another beer and he drinks it straight away and says,
"get us another beer will ya before it starts"
wife says
"YOU COME IN FROM WORK BARKING YOUR ORDERS FETCH ME THIS FETCH ME THAT!!"
husband says
f@@k me its started

Originally Posted by GastonJ

Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is
lying in bed reading.
Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep."
Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

THAT JUST MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD IN THE OFFICE

Exercise Routine

If you're over 30, you might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient.
It may be too strenuous for some.


Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!

SCROLL DOWN...


















































































































































NOW SCROLL UP..

That's enough for the first day. Great job.

Have a Chocolate.

OK - its not exactly a joke - but I always find plenty to chortle over here:

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1

one of my faves is a posting they've taken from the "good news prayer room" message boards and reads:

"I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive! "

are you going to tell her or shall I?

[yorkie_chris]

Originally Posted by Malfunctioning-eddie

OK - its not exactly a joke - but I always find plenty to chortle over here:

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1

one of my faves is a posting they've taken from the "good news prayer room" message boards and reads:

"I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive! "

are you going to tell her or shall I?

www.christianforums.net is possibly the best laugh I've had in ages

I'm quite tempted to join and take the pi$$ hehehe

Originally Posted by yorkie_chris

www.christianforums.net is possibly the best laugh I've had in ages

I'm quite tempted to join and take the pi$$ hehehe

Apologies if there are any christians on here, but I've just spent about 30mins looking at this, and had to keep reminding myself it's for real, and not meant to be funny.

Only in America!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by grh1904

Apologies if there are any christians on here, but I've just spent about 30mins looking at this, and had to keep reminding myself it's for real, and not meant to be funny.

Only in America!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think the majority of christians - even ones in the US of A - would be pretty ashamed by some of the nonsense on there - which in my mind gives me full license to take the **** and laugh and point


I'm going to hell of course - but I reckon that satan has a better record collection and drinks cabinet anyway

[SoulKiss]

Beware of a scam currently circulating supermarket car parks.

Two females are targeting lone male drivers. They offer to clean the man's car. If accepted, they disrobe to bikinis and "wash" the car in a suggestive manner, using their breasts and bodies as well as sponges.

When payment is offered, they decline but ask for a lift to another supermarket car park. On the journey, they undress and perform sexual acts with each other on the rear seat.

On arrival, one of them will climb into the front and perform oral sex on the driver, whilst the other lifts the driver's wallet.

I speak as a victim. I had my wallet stolen last Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and twice on Saturday!