The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a Sydney construction site.
The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."
To the Irishman he says "You're in charge of shoveling."
To the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched.
He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"
The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him."
Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel.
The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, that ye did, but I couldn't get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese fella in charge of supplies, but I couldn't fin' him."
The foreman is really angry now, and storms off looking for the Chinese guy.
He can't find him anywhere and is getting angrier by the minute.
Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells...










"Supplies!!"

Moo - comedy genius

NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is
galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.

"In this country . . we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex
lives"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex?

I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell "Mississippi'."

Man of the Year Awards...

[Stu]

Originally Posted by Triumphumphumph

Man of the Year Awards...

Whadaya mean? - at least he' carrying one!

Originally Posted by Stu

Whadaya mean? - at least he' carrying one!

Yeah, wot a gent!

[




I like his style, love thy bike

Two men are sitting at the bar at the top of the Empire State Building drinking, when the first guy turns to the other one and says "You know, last week I discovered if you jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the wind around the building is so intense it carries you back into the window".

The Bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar, but says nothing.

The second guy says "What? Are you insane? There's no way that could happen!"

"No, it's true" said the first guy, "let me prove it to you". He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony and plummets toward the street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the wind whips him in the window, and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.

The second guy is astonished. "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but it must've been a fluke. That was scientifically impossible!"

"No, I'll prove it again" says the first man as he jumps.

Again, just as his body hurtles towards the street, the wind whips him into the 10th floor window. He takes the elevator back to the bar. Once upstairs, he successfully urges his dubious fellow drinker to try it. "Well, what the heck," the second guy says, "I've seen that it works, so I'll try it!" He jumps over the balcony and rapidly plunges downwards …..his body hits the pavement with a loud "splat"

Back upstairs, the bartender who had been silent the whole time turns to the first drinker, and shakes his head and says ……..

"You know, Superman, you're a real ******* when you're p*ssed."

Your learning from Cuffy