The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here

What do you call a woman who sets fire to her telephone bills?










Burn-a-debt!

I went into the chemists and said to the pharmacist, "Excuse me mate, I'm after some condoms."

"Just a minute", he replied.

i said, "Yes, that's my brand".

A SHORT LOVE STORY


A man and a woman who had never met before,
but who were both married to other people,
found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room,
they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am,

I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?

I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married..'

'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own ****ing blanket.'


After a moment of silence, ......................he farted.


The End

[DarrenSV650S]

[Viney]

Originally Posted by keithd

I went into the chemists and said to the pharmacist, "Excuse me mate, I'm after some condoms."

"Just a minute", he replied.

i said, "Yes, that's my brand".

Thats no Joke, thats a true story

Originally Posted by Viney

Thats no Joke, thats a true story

is this not the mega tread then?

The happy couple

Originally Posted by Kate Moss

The happy couple

Philosophical message:

Socrates:~ Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumour.


In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day, an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, 'Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?' 'Wait a moment,'
Socrates replied, 'Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test.
It's called the Triple Filter Test' 'Triple filter?' asked the acquaintance.
'That's right,' Socrates continued. 'Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say.

The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?' 'No,' the man said, 'actually I just heard about it.' 'All right,' said Socrates. 'So you don't really know if it's true or not.

Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?' 'No, on the contrary ....'. 'So,' Socrates continued, 'you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?'. The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued.'

You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?' 'No, not really...' 'Well,' concluded Socrates, 'if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?' The man was defeated and ashamed.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why he never found out that Plato was sh+gging his missus.

Lmao