Rain Main & Autism

Originally Posted by sunshine

Aspergers is fun means you can be a complete **** and get away with it, be boring not being able to have a laugh and joke tho.

Autism affects more people than you realise because the people with the mild forms can go undiagnosed for many years or all there life, but autist people get great at one thing which like rain man and maths you would just love to be able to count cards like him wouldnt you really im not quick enough to use it in a casino unnoticed yet.

Really? That's not our experience. We live with Aspergers every day and believe me, it's no fun at all. Yes, high functioning autism has some very good things going for it (I'm trying to persuade Mike that a trip to Vegas would be a good tihng - he's already banned from playing cards at work). But whilst he's unique and I wouldn't change a thing about him, I wouldn't wish the ignorance, bullying, the anxiey, the vulnerability, and all the other heartache on anyone.

Nikkih, well said. I can see your points 100% and with my son I can totally relate to what you are going through.
I think having contact with others affected by Autism can help a lot. My wife and I went to a few meetings with other parents (the children didn't go) and it was amazing what you can learn from others in a similar suituation.

Originally Posted by Nikkih

I'm gonna say my piece here and gonna try and do it without coming across as a total b1tch.

Aspergers is fun - No way in a million years would anyone who has aspergers or a child with aspergers ever say it is fun.

Autistic people get great at one thing - some do but only a small minority, a very common misconception. Most people with autism struggle every day to do the normal daily things that everyone else takes for granted. Even if some do have a 'special talent' in most cases this will be totally useless in everyday life.

My son is 13 years old and autistic, having been diagnosed at 3 1/2. As he has got older we do now have a fair few good days, but life is always hard for us. He is only just learning to shower himself, he has major problems with food and can only eat in a select few places, he has a major fear of high ceilings, he can't eat if he sees pink, his emotional age is around 8 years at the moment but I wouldn't change him because the autism is part of who he is. His 'special talent' is a fantastic memory for things that interest him which is cars and has been since he was 4 years old. He knows every make of car, the horse power etc. and will talk for hours on end about cars. Not a conversation, just him talking and you pretending to be interested but to be honest he doesn;t care if you are or not. However, this doesn't transfer very easily into real life and he asked me the other day what did I think he could do when he leaves school which involves cars and I just didn't know what to tell him.

Sorry if I've gone on, but sometimes the public misconceptions about autism get to me and most people just don't appreciate the impact it has on our lives.

You certainly didn't come across as a b1tch, the opposite infact.

I am glad you commented on the Aspergers is fun comment.

I know a young boy, about 5 who, although not diagnosed, shows some autistic traits. He must eat the same thing for dinner EVERY night, at the same time. He must have his bath, followed by yoghurt drink and biscuit followed by brushing his teeth before bed. You can't change the biscuit for a small cake or anything else. His routine must be rigid, he cannot cope with even the slightest change and goes off his head. He appears to display the mental age of a 3 yr old and he rarely makes eye contact.

Whilst I realise these are very mild traits, his parents still find it very difficult so I have nothing but the utmost respects for parents who have to deal with much worse.

Originally Posted by Milky Bar Kid

You certainly didn't come across as a b1tch, the opposite infact.

I am glad you commented on the Aspergers is fun comment.

I know a young boy, about 5 who, although not diagnosed, shows some autistic traits. He must eat the same thing for dinner EVERY night, at the same time. He must have his bath, followed by yoghurt drink and biscuit followed by brushing his teeth before bed. You can't change the biscuit for a small cake or anything else. His routine must be rigid, he cannot cope with even the slightest change and goes off his head. He appears to display the mental age of a 3 yr old and he rarely makes eye contact.

Whilst I realise these are very mild traits, his parents still find it very difficult so I have nothing but the utmost respects for parents who have to deal with much worse.

To be fair compared to a lot of kids with autism our sons difficulties are mild too, but it's the constant nature of the problems that wears you down and I can totally sympathise with the parents of the little boy you know. I often think our house is like ground-hog day as I prepare the same thing for breakfast and lunch every day and we only have 3 things that he will have for dinner, our lives are bound by his routines. Sometimes you would just love to be spontaneous, and maybe even decide to just go out for dinner, but never mind.

I have a daughter with high functioning ASD (Aspergers). Getting information relevent to a girl is incredibly difficult. I wouldn't change her, but I wouldnt wish ASD on anyone.

[timwilky]

Aspergers aint fun. Ask my mate who had to grind all the points off the kitchen knives when his kid threatened to stab him. Or having to drive to strange parts of the country to recover him from police stations when his train/bus fascination takes over.

An old school friends family made the local papers when his Aspergers son (I had no idea the lad had problems) got an internet friend to try to kill his parents.

Aspergers or as Richard calls it the A word is such a wide condition that most normal well functioning individuals would be considered to have at least one of the classic indicators. When does an interest in something become an obsession etc?

Also getting proper funding/support from your LEA and health authority is head bangingly difficult. An excellent School is one down south called Southlands at Lymington, getting someone to pay when your LEA use the mainstream argument etc means you want to do your best for the kids and the system doesn't want to let you

[Bri w]

Summer '08 I took my usual week off and spent it working with 'special needs' children. Imagine spending a week with a child, read next to because you are rarely 'with' them. I used to spend hours telling him what I was doing, e.g. "I'm going to colour this picture green. Do you think you could too?" Each morning break I'd roll a ball to him, and ask him to roll it back. On the Thursday morning he stopped the ball before it reached him and rolled it back, and I filled up.

On the Friday I told him I wouldn't be there the following week as I had to go back to my other job. He said "bye" - maybe he was glad to see the back of me. The only word I'd heard him utter all week, and apprarently the only word he'd uttered in the 5 mths he'd been there. The week I was there was the only time he'd had full time one on one - I'd like to think I made a difference, if only for that week.

I saw some spectacular tantrums, usually started by the most obscure things. For example, the unit had had to change the ring tone.

The saddest thing for me was their inability to 'connect' with the other children, yet 1/2 an hour later they'd be doing whatever they'd been invited to join in with but on their own in the corner when all the others had moved on.

I'd love to do it full time but I fear I'd get too involved.

I ment it would be fun to have aspergers syndrome because the few i have meet are the rudest *******s in the world which from what i know means it a very bad form of it.

Bri: I spend 9-12 weeks a year starting last year working on the camp America systems, I was given the choice of normal kids or a group of autistic child including those with aspergers. i was E-mailed about 2 months ago asking if i was returning this year which i will be and a parent had called in to ask if i was going to be there because there autist son asked if he was going rock climbing with Chris at camp. I had done in weeks what there parents couldnt do in 15 years with there son, its not impossible for them to form a bond and socially interact but dont ask me how it happened. He was one of 5 in the group which i was looking after for 4 weeks I dont remember him saying anything to me or anyone else who tried to speak to him.

Originally Posted by sunshine

I ment it would be fun to have aspergers syndrome because the few i have meet are the rudest *******s in the world which from what i know means it a very bad form of it.

Bri: I spend 9-12 weeks a year starting last year working on the camp America systems, I was given the choice of normal kids or a group of autistic child including those with aspergers. i was E-mailed about 2 months ago asking if i was returning this year which i will be and a parent had called in to ask if i was going to be there because there autist son asked if he was going rock climbing with Chris at camp. I had done in weeks what there parents couldnt do in 15 years with there son, its not impossible for them to form a bond and socially interact but dont ask me how it happened. He was one of 5 in the group which i was looking after for 4 weeks I dont remember him saying anything to me or anyone else who tried to speak to him.

Seriously, if you have worked with kids suffering from Aspergers and other forms of autism then I cannot believe you would make a comment like "It would be fun".

Originally Posted by sunshine

I ment it would be fun to have aspergers syndrome because the few i have meet are the rudest *******s in the world which from what i know means it a very bad form of it.

+1 to MBK

No really, it's not fun. Perhaps you should think beyon your limited experience and the sheltered environment in which you've come into contact with these young people. Imagine what its like trying to do everyday stuff and come into contact with people who don't realise you've got the condition, nor understand what it means.

And what you describe as rudeness could well be the direct way that people with ASD have of expressing themselves and often their inabilty to read and respond to others' body language and emotions. Which is fine if you're at kids camp, but not so good if you're an adult at work having to interact with people you don't know and who don't know you - I can assure you it won't be so funny and they won't be so understanding.

I imagine the reson you and Bri have had postitive responses is becasue you've been able to spend the 1:1 time intensely interacting with the young person on a single issue. Not everyone, even parents and partners are able to do that in the course of daily life - no matter how hard we try, we're back at square 1 more often than we would like to be.

Oh, and you don't have to have Aspergers to be rude to, or about people.