Silly Accidents

21st birthday ended up in A&E, was drinking rather heavily... a night that starts off with a pint of spirits ends up messy!

When the drinking was all done at end of night, me and my mates were walking home, on of them decided to jump over a little dwarf wall... I followed, and being rather intoxicated, didnt quite make it, jumped.. but caught my trailing foot ontop of the wall... resulting in me hiting the floor headfirst... my mates thought I was dead, as they heard a crunch.. and watched as a big puddle of blood surrounded my head... Id hit my jaw, and my teeth had gone through my lip, and made a mess of my two front teeth.. was eating through a straw for a while after that, and am now left with two criss crossed front teeth, and small scar on upper lip......



Running around on the rugby pitch in school... slipped on some ice, and fell backwards, putting my arm out to stop me.. didnt quite acheive desired effect.... elbow landed first, fractured.. and had my arm in plaster for 6 weeks... and gave my brother a black eye with it as well !

Also, had a frozen drink thrown at me in school when about 15... hit me square in the back of the head.. first thing I knew about it was when some girls that were next to me started screaming that I was bleeding.. while I was lying on the floor wondering what had just happened!


When about 9 years old, I got pushed into the coat hangers in school... which happened to be at my head height back then... one got caught behind my ear, and nearly ripped it off.... had stitches for that one...


Came flying off my push bike once... was messing about with the brakes, trying to get them 'just right'.. well, came flying down into my street, applied brakes... and suddenly, front wheel, handlebars, and my head are all in contact with the ground.. luckily I was wearing my crash hat.... brakes worked a bit too well there


I have plenty of things like this...

Ohh, I also broke my first TV when I was 2 years old... I climbed out of my play pen and got ontop of the TV... which decided to fall over.... and I made a bit of a mess so I am told

Originally Posted by Scoobs

I tazered myself:... blah blah blah

...

I have never laughed so much

I swear to god that tears were rolling down my face. My wife was wondering what the hell I was laughing at so I told her to read it. Then we were both laughing our heads off......... CLASS.

Originally Posted by BigApe

I have never laughed so much

I swear to god that tears were rolling down my face. My wife was wondering what the hell I was laughing at so I told her to read it. Then we were both laughing our heads off......... CLASS.

Me too!!!!!! Showing to my missus NOW

[Lissa]

Originally Posted by mysteryjimbo

Me too!!!!!! Showing to my missus NOW

Me too!

Pete nearly had to do the Heimlich manoeuvre on me when I choked on my bacon butty!

Originally Posted by Scoobs

I tazered myself:

DARWIN WAS RIGHT!!!!!!

Currently forwarding to...oh well... about everyone I know

Do you look at cliff edges and think to yourself: "I wonder if gravity is real?"

I had stories about meat cleavers / fingers & Raleigh Choppers / teeth

but I bow down before you,

You sir, are truely f*&king stoopid

Someone pin this, PLEASE SOMEONE PIN THIS!!!!

Originally Posted by Scoobs

I tazered myself: etc.

No way am I showing my wife that one - she'd get ideas. At the moment my coming home late / not helping with housework / having oily hands is met with the cold shoulder and a nasty stare. I'd like to keep it that way (and I'm quite attached to my testicles thank you very much).

The question is...

Would they still be attached to you if you ****ed of yer missus ?!?

Originally Posted by valleyboy

The question is...

Would they still be attached to you if you p*ssed of yer missus ?!?

EXACTLY !!!

[northwind]

I've had a few, but sadly none involving tazers.

Crushed myself under 20 4 foot by 8 foot, half inch boards. Had to phone for help.
Also crushed myself under a Triumph Trophy 900. Also had to phone for help. Took a bit longer to arrive that time, but on the plus side I wasn't hospitalised.
Survived crashing at 70mph without a scratch... But did fracture my hip while walking without proper safety gear.
Nearly amputated my left index finger with an exhaust strap and a power drill.
Rode over a speed cushion at 70mph while doing timed quarter miles.
Hit myself in the face with a rather large hammer.
Hit myself in the face with a smaller hammer. But harder.
Nearly scalped myself by jumping off a table directly into a massive roof beam
Blew up a Jack Daniels bottle while quite drunk (on Jack Daniels), using man's ally Fire.

OMFG scoobs thats was the funnist post ever