What yould YOU do?

Take a tour of the world, make a decision when you come back, you might find some where totally differant you want to live

[Balky001]

There's no rush. Come back to UK and weigh things up properly. You have the grief of your father's death and are in a different enviroment.

It's difficult because people have such varied opinions on lifestyle vs family. Although SA isn't that long a flight away leaving Mr VT's parents and your friends can be tough. For me, it wouldn't have an issue moving abroad but I think my wife would miss her relatives and we would feel our daughter would miss out on the family thing. But you have family in SA so I think it would be easier for you. Do you work? Can you get a job there or would you not need to?

Remember, if you ever have regrets in life make sure you only regret the things you did rather than the things you didn't!

[Stuuk1]

I know a couple of south Africans and from what they have said I wouldn't fancy living there for the long term, but that's their view.

Not knowing how old you are, are you looking to have children, is SA good for their future?

I've read quite a lot about SA in books and the only thing I'd be worried about in losing everything. Am I right in thinking that cape town in the safest area these days? Give it 10 years will it still be a safe area?

Other than that, get out of the UK, it's crap here.


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I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=51.192441,0.725446

[maviczap]

Sorry to hear about your Dad, I've just lost mine.

However, it seems fairly simple.

At the moment your work life balance is working to live, not living to work. (hope I've got that the right way round)

If I could afford to, I would give up work now or work less have more time for life.

You only have one life, don't spend all of it at work if you can get out of the rat race.

As for horses & cats, well if you can afford to take them with you (cats easy, horses not so easy). Otherwise find them good homes and buy some new horses (easier said than done, I know)

Hardest problem will be Mr VT's family

[dizzyblonde]

Do it.
As I see it you have a window of opportunity, why put it off?. You only get one chance in life to do something different, or just something better.

Petes an only child, with no parents. Hes isolated in this world, apart from his close friends down in Essex, he has nobody. He left all that behind for me. I have a closish family, and would certainly feel a bit sad if I moved.......but sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, for yourselves, not for the rest of the family. My parents would wave me off with love and best wishes if I was 'Mr V' as its not their life, its his, they've lived theirs. As for the horses, they have passports, it would be a temporary upheaval, and the other animals too.

My parents took a leap when we were kids to move somewhere better for us kids.....they were right. They've missed the opportunity to move abroad several times, its too late now as they are of retiring age, so would find it difficult.
We are currently toying with the idea of moving to Cyprus, as Petes a first generation Greek Cypriot, born in the UK, life would be made easy for him to repatriate, as opposed to just some UK citizen with no link. Fed up with the whole working to live thing, we could be as skint over there as we are over here, but the way of life would be more suited to us, and more what we want for the kids. We'd be ableto export all the vehicles we have extremely easy, no questions as part of the repatriation package, dog too...oh and the kids

I know this is far different to your window of opportunity, and yours has come from something very sad..........but why not take the bull by the horns chick......I'd do it, and do it tomorrow.

[Biker Biggles]

On the face of it do it as its a no brainer but just a word of caution.
You know SA better than most as you lived there,but could that make you blind to certain realities that may happen there over the next decade or two?In almost every other African country I can think of the indiginous people have eventually turned against the rest and either chucked them out with nothing or oppressed them.SA will always be essentially a one party state (ANC) and now that the old guard are fading,who will run that party?How long can it resist the populist temptation to take everything from the wealthy whites(that will be you)and give it to the very poor Africans?There is already the ANC youth leader who is advocating this,getting slapped down by his party and coming back for more,but who would bet against him or another similar getting a hold sooner or later?I would at least make sure my money was kept abroad if I went to live there.
Sorry if thats a bit pessimistic.

I'd say the circumstances are right IF you wanted to.

However, think it over, and think it over well. I wish I hadn't moved to the UK, and am essentially stuck here.

It sounded like you were really struggling with life in the UK, until I read you had three properties, then I lost all sympathy :P All I can say is follow your heart. Bike and cars can be replaced. Moving the pets could prove a pain in the ass mind.

[Jayneflakes]

I think I would follow my heart.

Sorry to hear about your father, sending love and light.

XXX

Thanks for all the comments, all good even if they are 'bad'.

I know SA isn't the safest place to live and neither is it the most stable economically, however I must be honest and say that in the last 4 years the improvement has been significant enough for me to consider living here again.


We are going to have a look at some houses and stables tomorrow and see what we can afford to buy if we did decide to stay, that will definately influence our decision. As for having children, no plans yet, but my cousins have children and I have been with her to drop them off at school for the last few weeks and they have a wholesome, fun life and most mothers here dont work so they can spend more time with their kids. It is something I would want if I had kids. There is the beach, wildlife parks and other responsible parents and kids to socialise with, its great.

As for our 3 houses, I had the first one which was pure luck, got it in 2000 and remortgaged and bought and sold a second and used the money as a deposit for the one we are in now (which is in negative equity), the other one was a small bungalow we bought for my dad which completed the day before he died and we will have to now rent out, so you dont have to lose too much sympathy for us there.

Anyway, when I came to the UK I lived in a bedsit in London, walked from zone 2 to 3 as couldnt afford the travel card and slept in a tiny room on a blow up mattress for 6 months, drank water all day as didnt have lunch money and worked 7 days a week for a few years before I could afford pretty much anything, so Ive not just had it all handed to me on a plate. Ive found it hard and despite being able to achieve a lot I would really like to just enjoy my life a little more now.

So if Mr VT is in agreement, I would move back over here in a heartbeat and like so many of you are saying, it is a better life / work balance and I kind of need that now, Im tired of killing myself and pandering to demanding bosses who really dont care about anything other than working you to death.

Besides, if we did then Im sure quite a few of you would be happy to come and stay with us for our housewarming