I'm opening my heart up to the org (a tiny bit)

[Gazza77]

Originally Posted by Paul the 6th

Relocating - who's done it and how did you cope?

In may I moved from my home town in west yorkshire to York to continue my relationship with the missus. She moved down from middlesbrough to be with me last year in november. She never really settled and struggled being so far away from home. She had plans in place to start work at leeds university as a research assistant but the professor guy was a bit rubbish and it never really came together.

We moved to york to reduce the distance between her & her family, and also because she successfully gained a place on a PhD (at york university starting this october), and because I felt I was ready for a change of scenery & to broaden the mind etc...

This is the tricky bit - I've not really "integrated" into the local area at all since I don't 'have' anything in york. I'm self employed so even if I moved my office from west yorkshire, I still wouldn't have any work colleagues as such, I'm not in any form of education i.e. university, and I don't have any family over here. I've had a few friends over for weekends and been back home for nights out etc, but it's a pretty lonely lifestyle I'm leading lately.

I was wondering if anyone might have any advice from their own experience of relocating. Also, I've been considering getting into some volunteer/charity work around york as a way of getting out & about, and also to meet like minded people. Could anyone offer any advice about this sort of thing?

Any advice/ideas etc is properly appreciated

p.s. I love her a lot so there's no point in saying "get rid" or "move home" etc... just looking for others' experiences on how they adapted and started new lives/found ways of making new friends in a new area

thanks in advance, paul w

In a way sounds similar to me; other than that I work in an office. I've just moved in with my gf and without knowing whereabouts in W Yorks you were from, it sounds like a similar sort of distance. I have no family or friends were we are, though her family are only about a 10 min walk away! I don't mind it most of the time, but there is the odd time I miss being round people, such as tonight when I will be sat in alone (rather than in the pub with mates as I used to be) whilst my gf is out for a meal with work colleagues.

Stick at it is all I can say. Try to speak to the neighbours. Be sociable with the regulars at the bar when you go for a pint. Give it time, and I'm sure you will get to know people. You will also find that you will get more used to seeing people less as time passes and that it bothers you less also.

As well as looking for social outlets, might another interest help? You're less likely to feel lonely if you're busy...

I think that hobbies/interests will get you out of this one in more than one way. You'll spend time on doing it, you'll make friends through dedicated forums and maybe find nearby clubs/new mates. A gym membership is always a good idea in my books, at least you'll keep fit.

[Gazza77]

On the plus side, I'm saving a fortune on socialising, because all my drinking is done at home now!

i moved from scotland to aldershot couple of weeks ago to be with bf. Not had time to miss scotland yet - miss my mum and not being able to pop round to see her at weekends (saying that she lived 100 miles from me). Im not working at the moment but hope to get a part time temp job til baby is due. Ill notice difference once kids are at school but its ok just now.

good luck with your choices.

took me 4 years shift my butt down south. but its the right thing for me and my kids (i hope) lol

[anna]

I moved from Bristol to London about 2 years ago to start a career change.. I worked in a pub to start with alongside college and that obviously introduced a lot of new faces in a short period of time.

I was very lucky to have the .org who have always looked out for me from the time I moved down here and made sure that I wasnt on my own.

We moved from Cornwall to Shropshire in 1996 - job moved. We rented a house in Shrewsbury town centre and we had a lovely neighbour, Jane, who was so kind. Sadly she died a few years ago. But she was so friendly and welcoming. Otherwise, I got to know people through the local running club. It wasn't easy for Anne as she worked from home. It all changed when our daughter arrived 2 years later. Having a kid/kids makes a huge difference because people stop to coo over babies, and there are loads of baby and toddler groups.

i am the re location queen !!

I've done it twice before and I am about to do it again. As you say, tends to result in living for the weekend and a lot of going back home during leave and weekends. I am really into my music, so I treated the isolation as a time to spend on that. In the most recent 2 years I was away (during which I didn't have the internet at home) I'd say my music improved the equivalent of 4 years on it when I was back home with other distractions. Another thing that I found worked well was studying part time and really throwing yourself into that. Doesn't have to be a degree if there's nothing you fancy: Even something like a motorcycle maintenance nightclass gives you something to do, more people to natter with etc. Clubs are good too, I joined a sailing club last time, likely to join a Judo one this time.

Edit: Oh and if you're into computer games, playing online with your mates back home is good too. I'm hoping I can arrange for 3 of my mates who I normally play games with to have a 'regular' game of online GTAIV etc.

I'm relocating in a few weeks time to live with my OH. Although it's where I grew up I don't have many friends who live really close by. My plan is to join a couple of clubs to try and widen my social circle there

Originally Posted by Viney

Verna moved from the depressing north to the vibrant south east 2 and a half years ago. i know she misses her family and friends a lot and she was worried that she was going to be nobby no mates, but she has made new firends and i hope, she really likes it, and its only a 3 hours journey back up north!

awww honey - yes very happy xxx


Paul 6th - its hard mate it can be very very hard, i hid away for the first few months when i first came down as I was slightly nervous of the south and venturing anywhere but once i found my feet and got out and about i met loads of people - finally last year moved in with the viney a year ago and never been happier !! - i do still miss me family a lot loads but they'[re coming down next weekend. It kind of depends on the area as well - i think the charity work is a good idea also sounds as though you are a little hidden away coz of your job. hang in there clearly you're with the right bird it will all work out !! x