Manchester newbie

[Bluepete]

Woah there DP!

Using my extensive detective skills and intimate knowlege of regional accents, I detected the last time we met that you may not be a bona-fide Northern Lad! There was no wippet, flat-hat or pint with six inches of foam on the top!

I put it to you Sir, that you are an imposter, a ne-er do well and not worthy of holding any title other that Village Drunkard (The village in question being Preston, of course)

I recommend Tim Wilky, AKA, Mr Happy to be the resident border agent. Just one smile from his happy face will show what a lovely, friendly bunch we are oop 'ere!

Just don't mention Salford...

Welcome to the 'org.

Pete

[Bluepete]

Oh, and mine's a Pint, ta!

Pete

Originally Posted by Bluepete

Woah there DP!

Using my extensive detective skills and intimate knowlege of regional accents, I detected the last time we met that you may not be a bona-fide Northern Lad! There was no wippet, flat-hat or pint with six inches of foam on the top!

I put it to you Sir, that you are an imposter, a ne-er do well and not worthy of holding any title other that Village Drunkard (The village in question being Preston, of course)

I recommend Tim Wilky, AKA, Mr Happy to be the resident border agent. Just one smile from his happy face will show what a lovely, friendly bunch we are oop 'ere!

Just don't mention Salford...

Welcome to the 'org.

Pete

may i retort my friend, as a person with actually northern in the name of his country i would surmise that i alone may be the only northerner amonst us, therefore i put it to you sir that my title should be Sir dave of preston defender of the beer, protector of the boarders, master of the fermented liquids, and as such a clearly highly intelligent and openly superior person, that has like his irish beathern before him taken over this land of simple minded individuals, that for your own safety and protection ,all important disisions should be made by me,
as for the proposterus idea that my lacky the inbread bald one whom has the inability to smile ,even for a second on fear of a heart attack, i simply scoff at the notion, and at your obviously troubled mind

and for your attempted coupe de ta, i shall have to send the trained monkey whom is feared throughout the lands called Y.C to reeducate you

i await your badly argued responce

[Bluepete]

I reply thus;

You were drunk under the table and struck low by a Welshman. You should hang your head in shame and scuttle back to that Emerald Isle from whence you came (so long as you return soon with fermentables)

For without the assistance of your wench, you would not be able to make the decision to put on a matching pair of socks, let alone such important matters as entry into the hallowed ground of Lancashire and the North.

As for your empty, idle boast that I should be quaking at the thought of the terrier at your heels that is Y.C. I laugh in his general direction - behind me, trying to keep up!

I will end this here, for it is not proper to enter into a battle of wits with you, for you come to the battle unarmed.

Touche!

Pete

Originally Posted by Bluepete

For without the assistance of your wench, you would not be able to make the decision to put on a matching pair of socks, let alone such important matters as entry into the hallowed ground of Lancashire and the North.

Pete

wench!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bluepete]

Originally Posted by Mrs_giggles

wench!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See how he sends his wife into the fray whilst he cowers behind her skirts!

Vanquished!

Pete

its my ball and im taking it home





grabs ball and runs away, "mummmmmmy pete's picking on me"

[andrewsmith]

Thats making me laugh! Bravo Pete

[Bluepete]

Originally Posted by davepreston

its my ball and im taking it home





grabs ball and runs away, "mummmmmmy pete's picking on me"

Just the one ball?

Ah, of course, the other is in Mrs Giggle's trophy cabinet!

Pete

[timwilky]

young bog dweller Peat of Hereford.

Thank you for raising your head above the parapet and reminding me that you still have it attached.

Right, the geld remains outstanding. Not only that, but you have failed to pay for your visa to this pleasant land. additionally it has come to my attention that you have been brewing without a licence nor have you subjected your fermented liqueurs to the quality control inspections required of this county palatine.

I will therefore be despatching my pet beer monster to seize your illegal products. which he will immediately dispose of, and remain reposed within your pie eating community until such time as all outstanding dues are paid. It will be your responsibility to provide all his requirement until such time as your dues are paid.

I therefore anticipate full and final settlement within 1 day or even sooner.