Tracing a mobile number.. can it be done?

[Bri w]

Mmm, as your daughter is only 12 I'd be having a quiet word with your local Police. At least they could reassure you even if they can't give you any personal details.

[yorkie_chris]

Buy a £5 sim, ring and ask for them, if correct ask if they have had an accident in last 5 years :P

I think an anonymous caller may be the way forward, if my daughter knows I'm checking up then I'm afraid she'll start trying to hide it and I'm desperately trying to keep an open relationship with her.

It is possible but anyone apart from the police anyone who was able to do it would be putting at the very least their job on the line if not their liberty.

[yorkie_chris]

Presumably (hopefully!) this caller is also a minor, probably wouldn't be good to be found out for releasing personal details in that case. Even with best intentions.

Then again surely nobody up to no good would be stupid enough to use an attributable phone number?


On a serious note I'd suggest a chat with one of the .orgs resident coppers to see if there are any checks which can be made discretely.

[tigersaw]

12 year olds have telephones these days?

I'm assuming this is someone your daughter doesn't actually know in person? How did they get into contact with each other in the first place?

Trouble is you can buy a SIM card with £10 credit on it and never actually register it, so it's untraceable.

Police may be able to advise, and if they share your concerns they may look into it for you.

I find the best way with teenagers (12 - nearly) is to get them thinking intelligently about it and drawing their own conclusions. An open conversation with your daughter on the dangers may be the way forward, you will have told her about talking to strangers when she was at primary school age, but a conversation encoraging her to contribute her own views on why that might still be valid for teenagers, whilst planting a few ideas if your own. Ask her why she wants to be in contact with this person that she's never met and tell her your not comfortable with her talking to strangers and she needs to meet him and see who she is dealing with. I'd make a deal that you'll take her and some if her friends out to McDonalds/Pizza Hut for a treat, so long as she agrees a date and time for it with this stranger and invites him along. If he turns up and he's a nice 12yr old boy, your worries are over. If he makes every excuse or just doesnt show (offer to pick him up in the car) then you still have a worry and can take it from there.

[timwilky]

I agree with Ralph, engage with your daughter. she is a young lady, who doesn't need to think the world is cozy and she is wrapped in cotton wool. There are nasty people out there and you cannot be there to protect her full time. She needs to know the devious ways of the horrid people and how they build trust from a distance.

Whether it be social networks, texting, etc. It is anonymous communication and unless her friends can vouch for the contact and honestly say they know him, you are right to be suspicious. I like Ralphs method of forcing the guy into the open. hopefully everything is ok and it is genuine. But guide her through the issues. Don't be an overbearing mum or she will start hiding things.

Been though all this with scumbags and daughters 14 years ago.

Ralph, I am worried. Hes 16. Shes a mature 12 (physically and mentally) but 12 nonetheless.

Apparently he lives south london and she has no immediate expectation of meeting him. Ive expressed my concerns and told her she must NEVER go behind my back to see him (not that she has that amount of independance anyway) and that if she ever does want to meet I will take her.
Apparently they first chatted two years ago through an online game. But I know that he now texts, live chat and skype. Ive already put a stop to skype because i know it was getting innapropriate. This guy thinks its ok to show my 12yo daughter his ****. She assures me shes shown him nothing.

Ive tried to get her to think about what shes doing, asking her how many 16yo boys at school have relationships with 12yo girls and she knows that its not the norm. And shes well aware of 'stranger danger'.
I can see why shes flattered but I dont get whats in it for him. Shes shown me a photo and he seems like a nice normal kid, so ive also told her that he must have his own friends a possibly a girlfriend.
She says shes seen his face on skype and hes definitely a boy, not an older man imposting which was one of my concerns.
Im sure if he was just a boy down the road it wouldnt have gone this far because she wouldnt know how to handle it. It must be coming from him.

Im in a no win situation. If I stop it she'll hate me and start doing things behind my back.
If I let it carry on am I allowing her to get herself into a worse situation.
I am honestly at a loss.

Her dad things we should let it carry on and hope it will fizzle out, but what if it doesnt. Besides, he spent most of our married life looking at teen porn so I dont trust his judgement with it anyway, he thinks that behaviour is acceptable.
What if this guy gets to 18 and comes looking for her, she'll only be 14.

I want her to be open with me, and she is finding that really difficult which I can understand.

Id like to ring him as I have his number and tell him to leave her alone, in not very nice words. But chances are he'll tell her straightaway and she'll close up on me totally.

I really would value sensible suggestions from those of you with older kids, not stupid comments please as this is not a humerous situation from where im sitting.

Thanks, KJ xx

KJ if it has got to the stage of him showing her his privates then it's definitely a case for the authorities I would imagine. Have you tried contacting his parents as hopefully they would be as concerned and shocked as you are about the situation?