Rain Main & Autism

Originally Posted by Nikkih

My son is 13 years old and autistic, having been diagnosed at 3 1/2. As he has got older we do now have a fair few good days, but life is always hard for us. He is only just learning to shower himself, he has major problems with food and can only eat in a select few places, he has a major fear of high ceilings, he can't eat if he sees pink, his emotional age is around 8 years at the moment but I wouldn't change him because the autism is part of who he is. His 'special talent' is a fantastic memory for things that interest him which is cars and has been since he was 4 years old. He knows every make of car, the horse power etc. and will talk for hours on end about cars. Not a conversation, just him talking and you pretending to be interested but to be honest he doesn;t care if you are or not. However, this doesn't transfer very easily into real life and he asked me the other day what did I think he could do when he leaves school which involves cars and I just didn't know what to tell him.

Interesting post. That rang a few bells for me. Quite a few years ago now, I had a brief relationship with quite an attractive blonde. She didn't look weird in any way, apart from having particularly big tits. I dumped her very quickly when I discovered that she had nazi sympathies. Not neo-nazis - she hated them, I mean your old fashioned 'send the Jews to the gas chambers' type.

Anyway, I digress. I would never have considered her to be autistic, but she actually had a lot of similar symptoms to what you describe. She was phobic of the colour yellow and she would start talking and then talk for hours. Not in a conversational way, she'd just go into this strange state where she'd just talk and talk about whatever was going on in her mind. She also had a 'special skill' that's very like those seen in autistic people. She had an amazing memory and was memorising the railway timetables of eastern European countries.

[Bri w]

Originally Posted by CoolGirl

+1 to MBK

No really, it's not fun. Perhaps you should think beyon your limited experience and the sheltered environment in which you've come into contact with these young people. Imagine what its like trying to do everyday stuff and come into contact with people who don't realise you've got the condition, nor understand what it means.

And what you describe as rudeness could well be the direct way that people with ASD have of expressing themselves and often their inabilty to read and respond to others' body language and emotions. Which is fine if you're at kids camp, but not so good if you're an adult at work having to interact with people you don't know and who don't know you - I can assure you it won't be so funny and they won't be so understanding.

I imagine the reson you and Bri have had postitive responses is becasue you've been able to spend the 1:1 time intensely interacting with the young person on a single issue. Not everyone, even parents and partners are able to do that in the course of daily life - no matter how hard we try, we're back at square 1 more often than we would like to be.

Oh, and you don't have to have Aspergers to be rude to, or about people.

I think Sunshine maybe made a bad choice of words, and one or two are understandibly taking them too literally. Not having quite such a personal involvement I read the comment a little differently.

As for my experience/interaction; I used to go back into the unit every week, sometimes several times a week, before we moved house. The child concerned didn't once show any signs of recognition.

I feel very much for the children but even more so for the parents. The parents, at the very least have an expectation for their children when they are born. To have that so cruelly dashed, and then week in week out as they apear to make ground/connect only for the return to square one...

If I won £10 million on the lottery, I know where most of it would go.

Originally Posted by wyrdness

I would never have considered her to be autistic, but she actually had a lot of similar symptoms to what you describe.

Once you've aware of it, you see it everywhere - I can think of one or two senior managers I work with who show signs (all First Class Oxbridge degrees as well, where I think you'll find a lot of aspies hiding in the science departments). All undiagnosed, I expect.

Originally Posted by Mogs

I have a daughter with high functioning ASD (Aspergers). Getting information relevent to a girl is incredibly difficult. I wouldn't change her, but I wouldnt wish ASD on anyone.

my mrs works with people with asd and other problems (male and female) if you need some info im sure she would be happy to help, she is mrs giggles on here but if you want send me a pm and she can give you a phone
dave

[Messie]

I'm so glad others with much more day to day and personal experiences have responded to the misguided and ignorant comments made about those with Autistic Spectrum Disorders. I read some of the initial comments with increasing irritation but didn't have the chance to repsond at the time. I'm glad because my response has now been tempered by time and the anger I felt has died down a bit.
What Coolgirl and others have said about living with someone with this type of difference is so true, and even though I did my post-grad research with teenagers with autism, they can express the reality better than me.
Just one misunderstanding to redress though. The vast majority of people with autism or Aspergers do not have one special skill. The occasional examples you see are known as 'savants'. It is true that ASD people can be very good at focussing complete attention on one things, and so can become very good at it (read obsessed) but the genius skills shown by Tim Peek et al are very rare. It is not a normal feature of ASD.

Sorry about the way this thread may have swayed,

My intentions were purely to bring to light the way such illnesses affect many people. I'm very sorry for the experience people here have because of the conditions their children may suffer from, etc.

From what I have seen from my uncle and auntie, I only hope that any parent that has experienced such first hand only has the best support they can find!

Originally Posted by thulfi

Sorry about the way this thread may have swayed,

My intentions were purely to bring to light the way such illnesses affect many people. I'm very sorry for the experience people here have because of the conditions their children may suffer from, etc.

From what I have seen from my uncle and auntie, I only hope that any parent that has experienced such first hand only has the best support they can find!

You have absolutely nothing to apologise for, and my thanks go to you for posting about a issue which you felt should be brought to the attention of others.

I'm trying not to be too judgmental on some others who have posted in this thread because I think they have an inaccurate view of autism/aspergers and how people affected by it can come across. Yes they may seem rude but I think the issue here is that they are not trying to be rude or are even aware that they are, they are just trying to communicate and deal with a very confusing and often frightening world in the best way they can.

I think that anyone who is aware that an individual has an ASD shouldn't then say that they are rude or ignorant because that is the only way they know how to be and for a lot of individuals with ASD it is only through a lot of hard work and frustration that they are even able to communicate at all, so I feel that there should be recognition that there is a big difference between being rude and struggling with a communication/social disability.

The guy i talked about back on page one who i was at college with, he was polite and nice. He was very bound to following the rules though, and I got a thick ear when I challenged him (jokingly) to a race one day from college to home (he only lived around the corner from me)

I think people with aspergers and autism have the ability to be polite, but from what I've seen they just get frustrated and stressed out so easily that you can forgive them for getting upset

Originally Posted by Alpinestarhero

The guy i talked about back on page one who i was at college with, he was polite and nice. He was very bound to following the rules though, and I got a thick ear when I challenged him (jokingly) to a race one day from college to home (he only lived around the corner from me)

I think people with aspergers and autism have the ability to be polite, but from what I've seen they just get frustrated and stressed out so easily that you can forgive them for getting upset

Our son is also bound by 'the rules', which is a good thing in a way as I would hope that he will never steal or break the law, however like the guy you know, he does get extremely upset if others break the rules. This is one thing we are working on with him, that he has no control on others behaviour and he has to try and let it go.

He is also extremely polite to the point where he will always always say thank you for everything, the only drawback on this is that he needs an acknowledement, a you're welcome or even just ok. So much so that if he doesn't get an acknowledgement he will just keep repeating thank you getting louder and louder each time until he does...!!!

Sticking to the rules can be a right pain at times...
You would be surprised how awkward it can be.
An example is, My son loves his psp, wii playstation etc and as such got a few games for christmas. Now, he is 9.......
How many 9 year olds do you know that will not play games that are 12+....
He got Super Smash Bros for the Wii but persuading him to play it was very difficult. As I have said in earlier posts, he is very mildly affected but it does affect everyday life.
To an outsider, I don't think it is easily understood how a "normal" lifestyle can be affected by autism.

Mind you, I have to say that looking at the bahaviour of a lot of other kids I am really lucky to have a son who is as well behaved as he is.