Things you'd never thought you'd say ?????

6 inches is plenty ... I only want a snack ...
thank you Subway for making me sound like Graham Norton!

A beer? No thanks, I'd much rather have a nice bottle of red anyday

To the wife 'yes dear'

To the kids 'put a coat on its freezing out there'
To the kids' do as I say not as I do '

To the wife 'no dear'

To the kids ' will you shut that bloody door'
To the kids ' turn that bloody light off'

To the wife ' No it doesnt make your bum look big'

I worked out how to get kids to brush their teeth........

I was like so you like going to the dentist then eh? The kids were like hell no. Okay so won't brush your teeth then? they were like nope.

I then told them if they didn't then they would need a filling, you know how that is done, the kids like err no. They get a big ass drill, like the one handy man has! Then drill a hole in your tooth then fill it and it hurts like hell. They were going thats a lie. I then showed them my filling.....They always brushed thier teeth after that

Just today

'my dear, my penis is a mountain'

Originally Posted by Bear

No thanks Cheeky Girls covered in custard, I've got a headache...

Bear, what IS it with you and CUSTARD?!

I like custard as a comedy lubricant. Is that so wrong? Don't judge me!

Originally Posted by Bear

I like custard as a comedy lubricant. Is that so wrong? Don't judge me!

I'm not judging you!! I just figured you might have been denied it as a child or something...

"Few more drinks and I will happy run out of this tent in my pants and boots being chase by Bear".

Hmm some good ones from you guys,
heres mine.

"I do"

"No it's ok I'm off cycling in the morning", after being offered another beer!
"Bloody idiot, look at him driving like that, and with mobile phone stuck to his ear" Sounding like my 80 year old Uncle!

and one that I'm sure I will say sometime as I get older. " Hmmm think I'll take the car to work this bright sunny morning!!"