The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

First Donna Summer, then Robin Gibb. Disco is having a hard time Stayin' Alive.

A man goes to the psychologist.
The psychologists asks: "Why are you here?"
"Well, I work in a canning plant and a few weeks ago I got a sudden urge to put my penis in the cucumber slicer. I fought it for the first few days, but finally I couldn't help myself and I did it".
The psychologist asks, alarmed: "And what happened?!?!"
"Both of us got fired"

[Shawthing]

Originally Posted by wyrdness

First Donna Summer, then Robin Gibb. Disco is having a hard time Stayin' Alive.

Walked past the fridge earlier and heard a voice saying 'Robin Gibb is dead'.....
It was chives talking.

[Stingo]

If Robin Gibb and Donna Summer were to have a joint cremation....would it be known as a Disco Inferno?

Out in a club the other night and there was a guy on the dancefloor dancing up a storm. Disco, jumpstyle, breakdancing, the works.

The wife nudged me and said, "Twenty years ago that man proposed to me, and I turned him down."
I nudged her back and said, "Looks like he's still celebrating!"

Didn`t help myself in Court yesterday , I was arrested for Child Porn charges and the Judge said "How does 5 to 6 years sound ?"






Apparently "Sexy" is not the right answer

They say that small calibre pistols are no good in a Bear attack , I beg to differ . I was out in the hills with the girlfriend and a large female Brown Bear came crashing out of the undergrowth at us , we must have been near one of the cubs . I quickly drew out my .22 pistol and took aim . The shot went right into the Girlfriend`s kneecap and she went down . I was easily able to walk away at a brisk pace and make my escape .

It`s now my favourite pistol .

[Bluepete]

Took my wife to the doctors to sort out her Tourette's.

Turns out she doesn't have it.

I AM a ******* and she does want me to feck off!

Pete

A very strict farming father is hearing suitors to see which one he will let take his Three daughters on a date.
One boy arrives at the house and says "Hi, I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?"
The farmer approves of the boy, and lets his daughter leave.
A second boy arrives and says "Hello, I'm Freddy, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna get some spaghetti. Is she ready"
Again, the farmer approves, and lets his daughter leave.
A third boy arrives, and says, "Hi, my names Chuck-"
And the farmer shot him .

[Geodude]

I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.