The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here

How does every ethnic joke start?

By you looking over your shoulder.

[Bluepete]

[andrewsmith]

That looks wrong any way you try to cut it

I love the word 'frequently', I try to use it as often as I can...

Bloke walks up to a chubby woman in a bar, gives her a wink, and says "Hi love, have you got a pen?"
She blushes and answers, "yes!"
The guy smiles and says, "well you'd better get back in it before the farmer realises you've got out".

[punyXpress]

Schiklgruber Post ? :
FITNESS FOR MEN

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.


The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.'
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.


He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'.
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.


He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.
'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone. 'This is our most rigorous program.'
'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink
running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'

He lost 63 pounds that week

[andrewsmith]

That makes me chuckle no end

Heard it before. The guy's a moron. He could at least keep going with each program until he catches each girl

[Richie]

A chicken & an egg are in bed. The chicken is smoking a fag & looking very pleased with herself, just like the she'd won something in her life.
The egg is sulking.

Well on that Bomb Shell ... Then that question answered then!

[Bluepete]

Go to this Google

http://www.google.at/

Type

can I

results 3 and 6!

Pete