The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here

Originally Posted by Bluepete

Go to this Google

http://www.google.at/

Type

can I

results 3 and 6!

Pete

Results 3 and 6....
When can I use... Support tables for HTML5, CSS3, etc

Songtext: The Corrs - What can I do Lyrics

Hilarious one, Pete. Keep 'em coming.

[Skip]

Originally Posted by wyrdness

Results 3 and 6....
When can I use... Support tables for HTML5, CSS3, etc

Songtext: The Corrs - What can I do Lyrics

Hilarious one, Pete. Keep 'em coming.

I did that initially - he means from the suggestion box that drops down...

Also try putting

"Is it wrong"

as well

Pete - just wrong!

Originally Posted by Skip

I did that initially - he means from the suggestion box that drops down...

Also try putting

"Is it wrong"

as well

Pete - just wrong!

Ah, he didnt' say that. He said "results".

And the answer to both is obviously yes

[andrewsmith]

That is just wrong!

[Grant66]

If every body selects the pregnant dog option, can we get it to number one :-/

[daveangel]

I bought an advent calendar off a Jehova's Witness the other day, Yesterday I opened the first door on it, there was 3 of them stood there. . .

I'll get me coat. .

[Swin]

Funny that, when I opened the door on my Jehova's advent calendar all I found behind it was a bloke telling me to **** off!

[punyXpress]

I'm having Bernard Matthews' turkey for Christmas - he won't be needing it.

store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

FLOOR 1 - THESE MEN HAVE JOBS
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

FLOOR 2 - THESE MEN HAVE JOBS AND LOVE KIDS
"That's nice" she thinks, "but I want more".
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

FLOOR 3 - THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, AND ARE EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING.
"Wow," she thinks but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

FLOOR 4 - THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, ARE DROP-DEAD GOOD LOOKING AND HELP WITH HOUSEWORK.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

FLOOR 5 - THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, ARE DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS, HELP WITH HOUSEWORK, AND HAVE A STRONG ROMANTIC STREAK.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

FLOOR 6 - YOU ARE VISITOR 31,456,012 TO THIS FLOOR. THERE ARE NO MEN ON THIS FLOOR. THIS FLOOR EXISTS SOLELY AS PROOF THAT WOMEN ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE. THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT THE HUSBAND STORE.

Please Note: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have their own money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

[andrewsmith]

Originally Posted by keithd

Please Note: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have their own money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

thats a gem Keith!!