What yould YOU do?

I feel for you losing your father. My dad had a (what turned out to be a minor) stroke a few years ago and it actually was a wake up call to me that love him dearly and will miss him immensely when he does die. So notes like this are actually (to me) a good kick up the bum to make an effort to contact him, spend the day with him etc.

If I were you, I'd write a list of all the good things about going to SA, all the bad things about going to SA, all the good things about living in the UK, all the bad things and that would hopefully make it obvious which is the right option for you.
You've said you're always busy here, but maybe that's the sort of person you are - cursed with intellect so you always want to be doing something useful/productive. Do you think you'd ever be able to slow down your pace of life as you're suggesting?
I don't know SA at all (only reason I'd want to go is to go cage diving with great whites), but the impression I get is that the safe areas are gated compounds (I may well have a completely wrong idea tho). I'd never be able to relax in a place like that.

[Viney]

ou have to do what you think is right for you and only you. No matter what we think.

Its a say way to have a a decision like that to make. Im an only child and when my Mum pops her clogs, all im going to be left with are lots of shoes!

Originally Posted by Amadeus

notes like this are actually (to me) a good kick up the bum to make an effort to contact him, spend the day with him etc.

Both my parents died in hospital -neither were expected to have anything 'life threatening' (my mother's heart attack was apparently 'indigestion')

So love people while you can!

Originally Posted by Amadeus

If I were you, I'd write a list

I did the list thing and SA won, however, as some have mentioned - at the moment I am not in a realistic setting The reason I started this post to see what others would do, how others felt about SA and the UK and if there were any pros and cons that I hadnt considered

Originally Posted by Amadeus

You've said you're always busy here, but maybe that's the sort of person you are - cursed with intellect so you always want to be doing something useful/productive. Do you think you'd ever be able to slow down your pace of life as you're suggesting?

Ouch, very perceptive...yes I am a work-a-holic but some things I do in the UK are not optional and they are tiring and time consuming and I would happily do without them.

Originally Posted by Amadeus

I don't know SA at all (only reason I'd want to go is to go cage diving with great whites), but the impression I get is that the safe areas are gated compounds (I may well have a completely wrong idea tho). I'd never be able to relax in a place like that.

No, its not quite like that. There are safe and dangerous areas and it's not always big walls and gates in the safe areas.

Originally Posted by Viney

Im an only child and when my Mum pops her clogs, all im going to be left with are lots of shoes!

Oh Viney! Lol, let's hope they are in your size

[keith_d]

Originally Posted by Von Teese

Sorry Keith, but it had to be done....

Yep, one of my friends was over from America and got caught up in the riots in London. They passed through with their kids to get back to the hotel and nobody took any notice of them. I can't imagine them doing that during a riot in SA.

Originally Posted by Von Teese

But relevant points about the taxation on the rental properties but I think that if I rent them out just to cover the mortgage and the insurance and dont make any money the only tax will be captial gains if I sell...However I will definately look into it as it wasnt something we considered.

If it was the same as the UK tax system you would be able to deduct the mortgage interest, insurance and maintenance costs from your rent for tax purposes. But the money used to pay off the capital would be taxable. Of course in SA the rules could be completely different.

Keith.

The UK is still a relatively safe place to live VT, the looting (it wasn't rioting) is a very extreme example to use to demonstrate your point. The UK very rarely sees disorder to that extent and there were only very isolated cases of persons being attacked, it was mainly directed at large chain stores etc.

Whilst it was awful and embarrassing I don't think that because of it we can turn around and say that Britain is not a safe place to bring up children because I firmly believe that it is.

I've been offered a number of positions in the US. Whilst some of it is very nice, I just can't help thinking I'd miss our "green and pleasant land". I love April time when everything goes really green - the beech trees going that almost luminous green, going for walks in the countryside, stopping to look at a view and realising 2 hours later that you've not moved and are still impressed with the views and the countryside.
I'd not move for that reason. Would you miss the UK landscape? Or architecture?

Do they have many cows in SA? If they didn't, that'd be another reason why I'd not go, tho that may be more a personal thing and less likely to be of concern to you.

[anna]

Lovely lady, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, I hope that you haven’t found it too horrid to sort through things in SA and that you have been able to find comfort in the support given

I would say that you need to come back to the UK at this time, wait six months whilst keeping in mind what it would mean to move.

You are clearly in a fragile state right now, and the idea of coming back to the UK to the daily slog isn’t something that can be a comforting thought. I would say give yourself a grieving time, allow yourself that.

At the end of the time, if you still want to move back, then go visit again at the end of the 6 months and make sure that you are going to somewhere you haven’t just seen through the eyes of grief.

I am a strong advocate for living, and doing so with no regrets, but allow yourself time in this case to make your decision a strong one.

Jen everything you've said (now and also recently before your Dad passed away) makes it clear that you would love to return to SA to live, so if it were just you I'd say follow your heart and take the opportunity! At least something good can come from a difficult and sad time for you.

What are Mr VT's thoughts on the subject though?

PS. I will miss you if you go!

Originally Posted by keith_d

I can't imagine them doing that during a riot in SA.

LOL! They only riot in the townships and Joburg, neither of which I would be going near in this lifetime.

Originally Posted by Milky Bar Kid

The UK is still a relatively safe place to live VT, the looting (it wasn't rioting) is a very extreme example to use to demonstrate your point.

Holy crap! Was I demonstrating a point?????
Sorry I thought I was making a joke!

Originally Posted by Milky Bar Kid

I don't think that because of it we can turn around and say that Britain is not a safe place to bring up children because I firmly believe that it is

I never said that Britain is not a safe place to bring up children....

Originally Posted by Amadeus

Would you miss the UK landscape? Or architecture?

Nope, they do have green landscape here and stunning architecture too, the country is so stunning in fact and varies from places that you would swear were scotland but are warmer to beaches to scrub to grassy terrain to deserts etc, you have no idea how stunning the country is here.

Originally Posted by Amadeus

Do they have many cows in SA? If they didn't, that'd be another reason why I'd not go, tho that may be more a personal thing and less likely to be of concern to you.

Natal is 'Zululand' .....

Originally Posted by anna

I would say that you need to come back to the UK at this time, wait six months whilst keeping in mind what it would mean to move.

Thanks Anna, we will have to come back and it would take about a year to sort everything out anyway.

Originally Posted by Fizzy Fish

PS. I will miss you if you go!

Says the woman who wants to run off to Australia! lol!