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Old 21-06-12, 05:59 PM   #411
xXBADGERXx
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

What's got one head and 13 brains ?


















Peter Sutcliffe's hammer!
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Old 22-06-12, 06:30 AM   #412
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

As I sat naked on the edge of the bed sobbing, my wife consoled me.

"Hey, chin up, I'm sure it happens to lots of guys" she sympathised "Is there anyone we can call?",

"No!" I wailed, "They'll say the usual 'try again later' or 'try something different,' I'm a failure."

"Hey" she whispered, "You never fail me, I love you no matter what. We'll get there in the end."

"Promise?" I sniffed,

"I promise." She smiled and stood up; "Now, come on, forget the Guinness book of Records, let's get those 27 smarties out from under your foreskin."
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Old 22-06-12, 09:12 AM   #413
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Here it is ... proof that husbands do listen to their wives ...

Milk and eggs

This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk,

And if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."
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Old 22-06-12, 09:55 AM   #414
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Do hope THIS one works:
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Old 22-06-12, 11:16 AM   #415
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

we shall have a new term on the org
when images are not shown just a big red x it shall be known as
A PUNY FAIL
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Old 22-06-12, 12:48 PM   #416
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

BOOBIES!

Proof that men CAN focus on two things at once.

Pete
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Old 22-06-12, 09:22 PM   #417
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by andrewsmith View Post
Stolen
Yes and it's old, but it still made me laugh

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluepete View Post
BOOBIES!

Proof that men CAN focus on two things at once.

Pete
Rubbish, they still only focus on one at a time
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Old 22-06-12, 09:23 PM   #418
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs dj fridge View Post
rubbish, they still only focus on one at a time
the cleavage
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Old 22-06-12, 11:12 PM   #419
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

DavePreston takes his chainsaw back into B&Q and says to the bloke in dungarees "You told me this chainsaw would cut one hundred trees down in a day, well today its only cut fifty." So the bloke gets the chainsaw and pulls the start up cord and it goes 'brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr', and Dave says "What's that ****in' noise?"
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Old 23-06-12, 12:21 PM   #420
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I'm left making bad chemistry jokes because All the good ones Argon.

Pete
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