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#461 |
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What rises 8 inches when my wife gets in at night?
The water level in the bath |
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#462 |
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A teacher asks her class if anyone can use the word fascinate in a sentence.
Brian raises his hand and says, “The sky is fascinating.” The teacher says, “No that’s fascinating.” Jennifer raises her hand and says, “When I saw the tigers at the zoo I was fascinated.” The teacher says, “No that’s fascinated.” So finally Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “My mom bought a new blouse with 12 pearl buttons, but her tit’s are so big she could only fasten eight! |
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#463 |
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Same teacher as above asks class to come up with a sentence using "contagious"
Sally:- I was at granny's and I started laughing, she said my laugh was contagious Teacher:- well done Billy:- last year I had the mumps, and the doctor said it was contagious Teacher:- exellent Paddy (Irish accent):- I was standing with my dad outside our house, and the neighbour came out with a paint pot and a little paintbrush and started painting his porch. My dad said it would take the contagious |
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#464 |
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love that last 1
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#465 | |
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Join Date: Feb 2009
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![]() Quote:
Our Teacer was getting a little dispirited by now, but she decided to give Paddy one last chance. Sally:- Thank you Patrick. Could you also give the class an example using the word torture. Paddy:- Sure I can. Last Friday your man Mick was upstairs with me Ma playing trampolines when my Da's van came up the way. As he ran out the back he said, "I torture said your husband was away the whole day" Last edited by keith_d; 10-07-12 at 05:29 AM. |
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#466 |
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__________________
There's a fine line between a hobby and a mental illness |
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#467 | |||
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![]() P.S. Is it me or does that chicken have a look of shock on it's face?
__________________
How to amuze an idiot: Look right-> <-Look Left |
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#468 |
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Why? That was Dutch.... chef is Swedish
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#469 |
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#470 |
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Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here | fizzwheel | Idle Banter | 4533 | 02-12-11 09:28 PM |
This will probably go into the comedy club | plowsie | Idle Banter | 4 | 23-09-08 01:16 PM |