The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here

Originally Posted by cuffy

I pulled an older woman at a club last night.

She was a right sort for 57, we drank a bit, had a bit of a snog & she
asked if I'd ever had the sportsman's double, a mother and daughter 3
some ?

i said 'no i haven't as it happens'..........

So we drank a bit more and then she says to me that 'tonight was my lucky night then'.

I finished my drink quickly and went back to her house.......she put the hall
light on and shouted upstairs...













'mum....you awake ?'

THIS IS A BIT BLUE SO BEWARE


A man boards a plane and is lucky enough to be sat next to a beautiful woman.He noticed she is reading a sex statistics manual.the woman says to him did you know that the American Red Indian has the longest pe--- and the Irish men have the widest one?
Sorry she says my name is jill,please to meet you says the man i'm Tonto O'Shea

good one viney like yours to cuffy

Originally Posted by Stingo

This is fun....


raglafarT.

and Finsbury Park backwards is?

[Skip]

Originally Posted by skidmarx

and Finsbury Park backwards is?

Superb!

Two women are playing g*lf on a Saturday morning...

The first of the twosome tees off anf watches in horror as her ball hurtles directly towards a group of blokes playing the next hole - hitting one of the men full-on... who immediately crumples to the ground, both hands clenched firmly between his legs.

The women rush over...

"I'm really, really sorry," says the woman who teed off. "please allow me to help you - I am a physical therapist and I can ease the pain if you'd allow me."

"Oooh - ahhh - oooooh!" screams the man, writhing around on the floor with his hands still firmly entrenched between his legs. "I'll be all right in a couple of minutes love..."

Persistant the woman pins him down and unbuckles his belt. Then she loosens his trousers, slips her hand inside and massages his groin.

"How does that feel?" the woman asks.

"It feels absolutely great," says the man, smiling, "but my thumb still hurts like buggery!"

[_Stretchie_]

Originally Posted by hovis

Two women are playing g*lf on a Saturday morning...

The first of the twosome tees off anf watches in horror as her ball hurtles directly towards a group of blokes playing the next hole - hitting one of the men full-on... who immediately crumples to the ground, both hands clenched firmly between his legs.

The women rush over...

"I'm really, really sorry," says the woman who teed off. "please allow me to help you - I am a physical therapist and I can ease the pain if you'd allow me."

"Oooh - ahhh - oooooh!" screams the man, writhing around on the floor with his hands still firmly entrenched between his legs. "I'll be all right in a couple of minutes love..."

Persistant the woman pins him down and unbuckles his belt. Then she loosens his trousers, slips her hand inside and massages his groin.

"How does that feel?" the woman asks.

"It feels absolutely great," says the man, smiling, "but my thumb still hurts like buggery!"

A biker has been on the road for a weeks, without female companionship, and decides to get rid of the frustration.

At the next town, after finding out the location of the local brothel, he heads straight to it.

He kicks the door in, yelling "I want a woman, and I want one now!!"

The Madame recognizes his urgency, and ushers him into the main room where her best lady is.

The hooker is very impressed with what she sees as this big hunk starts stripping, exposing rippling muscles & tattoos, and eagerly waits to see the size of the love muscle.

Her shock could not be hidden, when the smallest Willy that she had ever seen was displayed. With contempt, she sneered at him, "and who the hell do you think you're gonna satisfy with that ?"

The biker just gave her a knowing smile, and replied.. "ME"

2 gay men in are in the toilet when one notices the other has a nicotine patch on his manhood.
"does it help?"









"Oh yeah, i'm down to 2 butts a day now"

Husband and wife in bed together.
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She:"Oh that feels good."
His hand moves to her breast.
She: "Gee, honey that feels wonderful."
His hand moves to her leg.
She: "Oh, honey, don't stop."
But he stops.
She: "Why did you stop?"
He:"I found the remote."