The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes - Page 57 - SV650.org

DJ123 · 20-09-12, 10:01 PM

"There's a spider in the bedroom," screamed my wife, "Get it out Dave! Please get it out!"

"I don't know why they turn you on so much," I said, unzipping my jeans.

_Stretchie_ · 21-09-12, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daddyjob

My girlfriend was putting sun cream on.

"Do you mind doing my back?" she asked.

"Let's pretend I'm your butler" I winked. "My name's Dawes."

"Ok!" she giggled, "Would you mind doing my back, Dawes?"

And that was all the invitation I needed...

DJ123 · 21-09-12, 06:13 PM

As my s***k dribbled down my girlfriend's chin, I looked her in the eyes and said, "Do you like that?"

"No," she replied, "What the **** is in this sandwich?"

DJ123 · 21-09-12, 06:17 PM

My wife told me she wanted a spa day for her birthday.

I'll tell her it's pronounced 'spade' when I give it to her tomorrow.

21-09-12, 07:42 PM

A recent study found that Paralympic running is the least environmentally friendy sport.
It's got the largest carbon footprint of all the events.

DJ123 · 22-09-12, 10:09 PM

Listen to something someone tells you. Now twist it into every horrible way possible. Congratulations!

Now you're a woman.

23-09-12, 01:50 AM

I won tickets to the paralympics, 100m hurdles, gosh they must have sore foreheads by the finish.

DJ123 · 23-09-12, 07:02 PM

I'm doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve orgasm. Don't worry if you can't come.

DJ123 · 25-09-12, 05:47 PM

Apple have just launched a new car. It comes with all the latest gadgets, fully integrated with the iphone 5 and with wireless area network. It's called the i-WAN car.

25-09-12, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daddyjob

I'm doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve orgasm. Don't worry if you can't come.

This is my new favorite joke. Almost did a wee.

20-09-12, 10:01 PM	#561
DJ123 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Somewhere over there Posts: 3,245	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes "There's a spider in the bedroom," screamed my wife, "Get it out Dave! Please get it out!" "I don't know why they turn you on so much," I said, unzipping my jeans. __________________ BMW F800ST

21-09-12, 06:13 PM	#563
DJ123 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Somewhere over there Posts: 3,245	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes As my s*k dribbled down my girlfriend's chin, I looked her in the eyes and said, "Do you like that?" "No," she replied, "What the ** is in this sandwich?" __________________ BMW F800ST

21-09-12, 06:17 PM	#564
DJ123 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Somewhere over there Posts: 3,245	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes My wife told me she wanted a spa day for her birthday. I'll tell her it's pronounced 'spade' when I give it to her tomorrow. __________________ BMW F800ST

21-09-12, 07:42 PM	#565
svrich Guest Posts: n/a	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes A recent study found that Paralympic running is the least environmentally friendy sport. It's got the largest carbon footprint of all the events.

22-09-12, 10:09 PM	#566
DJ123 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Somewhere over there Posts: 3,245	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Listen to something someone tells you. Now twist it into every horrible way possible. Congratulations! Now you're a woman. __________________ BMW F800ST

23-09-12, 01:50 AM	#567
Thunderace Guest Posts: n/a	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes I won tickets to the paralympics, 100m hurdles, gosh they must have sore foreheads by the finish.

23-09-12, 07:02 PM	#568
DJ123 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Somewhere over there Posts: 3,245	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes I'm doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve orgasm. Don't worry if you can't come. __________________ BMW F800ST

25-09-12, 05:47 PM	#569
DJ123 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Somewhere over there Posts: 3,245	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Apple have just launched a new car. It comes with all the latest gadgets, fully integrated with the iphone 5 and with wireless area network. It's called the i-WAN car. __________________ BMW F800ST

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