Strangest injuries

Bruise on my leg from the little plastic tab from my back bike light - it shifted slightly off-centre and I spent the 20km bike leg of a triathlon being poked in the back of the leg every pedal stroke. Who'd have thought you could actually get a bruise from that though!

A uni friend's boyfriend hit me on the back of the head with an oar. Two boats going at speed in opposite directions, narrow river, thunk! What was odd was I was the only person in my boat to get hit - shouldn't be possible but still!

Cut my nose shaving my legs - reached down to remove foam, didn't move razor, razor shifted in foamy hand...cut on nose. I think this deserves at least an honorable mention for dopeyest (word?) self-injury. Muppet!

Originally Posted by ibby33

Broke my little finger as my ex girlfriend sat on it

Mate of mine broke two fingers when his girlfriend spasmed a little more violently than usual.

[carelesschucca]

In a strange way kinda want to meet your friends other half!!!

[andrewsmith]

Comeon Chucca get a boo boo up

Worryingly I also want to meet your mate missus

[dirtydog]

I had the normal scrapes and bruises as a kid but the only one I actually remember was from climbing a tree at guildford cathedral, I fell out of it scraping my self down a cut off branch or maybe even the trunk from my waist to my arm pit. Had loads of green powdery stuff I the scrape which my mum scrubbed out whilst I sat in the bath.
More recent ones are a Phillips screwdriver into the fleshy bit between your thumb and index finger, burns on my arms from welding the underneath of my van and some hot bits falling up my sleeve, had a 1inch gash on my head after hitting it on the corner of a locker door.
Another one which was a bit strange, I was driving home one evening and my eyes started streaming to the point I was struggling to see where I was going and actually missed my junction on the dual carriageway! When I got in Hazel wanted to take me straight to a&e as my eyes had swollen up lol
A few months back I sliced open my middle finger on a broken tile that was sticking out the side of a rubble bag, worst thing was I had to go back to work after it had been stitched up asi had to fit the toilet back in!

I'll not put the before picture as it's not pleasant.

I have lost a lot of feeling in my right index finger after I was bitten multiple times by a wild polecat.

You can just about make out some of the scars (the pale dots). They run all around my finger.

A wild polecat will try and eat you rather than just latch on, not a nice experience.

Not particularly strange but certainly stupid...

I shared a terraced house with a couple of women. We often got very drunk.

One evening we were again very drunk. My tipple that evening had been peach schnapps which I'd won in a tombola at work. Around midnight one of the girls pointed out that the people next door had moved out and would it be possible to go through the loft and have a party in their house (as there were only 3 of us, it wouldn't have been a great party). We all decided that this was a great idea, so I stood on the banisters on the landing and with a little help I clambered into the loft. I was very conscious that I was drunk and didn't want to fall through the ceiling so I ensured that I only stepped on the rafters. After taking a few steps towards next door I realised that there was a brick wall in the way (probably obvious with hindsight). I called this out, got a couple of disappointed replies and then started reversing back towards the hatch.
I'm not sure how, but I forgot the loft hatch was open and promptly fell through it. On the way down my hip scraped the hatch entrance all the way up to my armpit (did I mention that I was only wearing pants?). I then landed on the top of the bannister rail (same hip) but at this point my luck changed and instead on falling the 10 (?) feet to the bottom of the stairs, I fell onto the landing. Obviously this was the funniest thing that had ever happened to any of us so we fell (I continued to lay there) about laughing.
The next morning I woke up with my bed sheet stuck to the blood from the scrapes - I had to take it into the shower to gradually pull it off. Once I'd taken that off I found I had a massive bruise from halfway up my thigh to the height of my nipple. Lasted about 2 weeks and was very painful to walk for all that time.
It was before the times of phone cameras (which is probably a good thing considering what we did get up to) so I don't have any photos unfortunately. Shame because it still makes me laugh to this day.

Just a couple of minor ones...

As a 13 year old, I was collecting conkers about this time of year & to help things along, picked up a stick and threw it into a tree. Looked down & found I was still holding the stick, not having spotted the nail through the wood. It went into my forefinger just above the lower knuckle & protruded out of the top, virtually impaling the finger. Had to travel to hospital still holding the stick like a banjo!

Not really an unusual injury, but a few years ago I ruptured my anterior cruciate ligament. Whilst waiting for the reconstruction surgery, my knee would give way & I'd crumple to the ground without warning. This was more disconcerting for other people than me as it could happen anywhere. The first time my wife saw this was whilst we were looking around Hardwicke Hall in Derbyshire.

[Littlepeahead]

Stapled my hand to a wall with a staple gun when I was 9

Sprained wrist after a fat sweaty stage diver landed on me at a gig

Fell off a stage and sprained my ankle after someone moved the steps and I didn't realise

Slipped over in the shower which was over the bath and knocked myself out on the toilet on the second day in a new job

Broken big toe after a colleague dropped a walkie talkie onto my bare foot from a balcony

Another sprained ankle after I got my foot caught in a rabbit hole at V Festival

Black eye from slipping over on a floor I'd just polished

Lacerated finger getting it trapped in the cable wind up mechanism of a vacuum cleaner aged 28

Scar under my eye from a dog jumping out of a window of a parked car and biting my face when I was 6

Neck injury from falling off a kids' climbing frame in New Zealand aged 33

Torn back muscles from demonstrating the art of hoola hooping while drinking beer to my friend's young children last year

My physio friend at work has got a comedy file on all of the most stupid injuries he's treated me for - he said he never realised hoola hooping was so dangerous

[daveangel]

Only one major one for me, when I was 10/11 during the summer holidays 30 years ago was pushing a neighbours son along on a pedal kart as fast as possible when I tripped and slid along on my face and stuck 2 teeth through my top lip, had to be taken to A & E at the old West Hill Hospital, Dartford for stitching up and a large tetnus needle to be stuck into my leg. I was convinced it was going to come out the other side! Had a couple of weeks of wearing a Hitler moustache of stitches, still have a scar now.