Best chat up fib

Originally Posted by Spiderman

'I know girls'

Originally Posted by Dave20046

Because presumably all you lot would have jumped at the chance?

She wasnt exactly a milf, the rest of us had enough sense and standards to stay away from her.

Any single guys should try these...There not fibs as such but more real working chat up lines!!

"the word of the day is legs, so shall we go back to mine and spread em?"

"If you think chewbabcas hairy, wait untill you see my wookie!"

When chatting to girls, I found that work was often discussed/mentioned. Saying I was in IT generally killed the conversation, so I said I was either a photographer or an actor. Either seemed to open the conversation quite well, and I was always sure to be quite realistic (well, it seemed realistic at the time, which was obviously after a few pints - you don't expect us developers to start chatting to people without at least a few pints do you?). So when I said I was a photographer, I said that I did stuff for adverts mainly, but recently I've been doing a bit of glamour (for Razzle - one of my mates was obsessed with it), which was a lot of fun, but it was difficult finding models, and then moving the conversation on quite quickly. Quite regularly, the girl would bring the conversation back to the topic and whether they would be able to be a model, and then you've got an open door to discussing their boobs (or whatever).
When I said I was an actor, I'd say that I most recently I was in something like "The Bill" - do you remember the one where the goat knocked over a child, causing the child to have a brain haemorrhage blah, blah - whatever came into my head. And almost always they remembered the episode "Oh, yeah, I think I remember that, I don't watch The Bill much"... Sometimes I'd say something like "Have you seen Gone with the Wind - I was Rhet's driver in that" - something totally ridiculous - my parents weren't even born when that was made - and again, people seemed to bite.
I did say I was a carpet fitter once, and I needed someone to come back to mine because I needed to lay a carpet and when I unrolled it, it came away from the wall, so I needed her to lay on it whilst I tacked it down. I think that was a challenge set by a mate. Amazing what you can get away with, with a bit of (beer induced) confidence.

[Bibio]

this was my mates girlfriend's friend. i never utterd a word to her apart from the following.

me, your not coming back to my place unless you go to bed with me.

her, ok then.

Originally Posted by Bibio

this was my mates girlfriend's friend. i never utterd a word to her apart from the following.

me, your not coming back to my place unless you go to bed with me.

her, ok then.

Conversation between a very nice lass I had met an hour previously and hadn't really talked one-to-one with yet;

Me - I'm going to bed, are you coming?

Her - yes

A minute or so later on the way up to the hotel room;

Her - I can't believe I've pulled

Me - You haven't - I've pulled.

Her - No! I did

Me - Listen, I haven't pulled in ages, don't try taking this away from me gurlie.

I don't think we said much else that's suitable for U rated forum after that. We ended up seeing each other for about a year and are still very good friends.

I don't bother with chat-up lines/fibs.

I just stay perfectly silent, not saying a word, sometimes for hours, until the tension gets too much...then I look her straight in the eye and say, "So...how 'bout it?"

Originally Posted by Neeja

I don't bother with chat-up lines/fibs.

I just stay perfectly silent, not saying a word, sometimes for hours, until the tension gets too much...then I look her straight in the eye and say, "So...how much?"

Not my style at all.

A crowd of us on a lads night (can't remember if it was a birthday/stag etc night) spied a group of girls equal in number to us so we all casually started to chat/dance alongside and when the opportunity for conversation came we all started pretty much with "can you help me lose a competiton".

This got them intrigued as who wants to lose a competition. The next part of the plan is tell them that the group was set a number of challenges for the night out, one of which was to get off with the most fugly bird you can, but you just don't have the stomach for it and wouldn't be able to stand the humiliation. And there's no way I'll win with such a pretty lady as you etc etc........

Then casually point to one of your mates chatting up one of her mates and say something along the lines of look at the fugly munter "Fred" is trying chat up, you're absolutely stunningly gorgeous compared to her.

Now this can and does work both ways: -

1. Like all females she will be well impressed if blokes think she is waaay waaay better looking than her mate. Especially if you've been and are paying her compliments about her figure/hair/dress, and slip in negative comments about the mates figure/hair/dress.

2. Like all females she and her mates will tell each other everything & she could be well "UN"impressed with you slagging off the mate. An old RAF mate never forgave me for the vodka & coke stains that never washed out his "best" shirt.

A friend once told one of my missus' friends that he was a jetski instructor.