The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes - Page 62 - SV650.org

_Stretchie_ · 05-10-12, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jayneflakes

‎"Jesus loves you."

A nice gesture in church.

A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

I saw this joke recently and loved it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by daddyjob

My wife and I are like chalk and cheese.

I'm white and skinny, and she's primarily made up of fat.

My wife is like the sun.

My eyes hurt when i look at her.

Love them all

DJ123 · 09-10-12, 06:57 AM

Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"
First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."
Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:
"Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK...then I DEFINITELY **** my pants..."

Bluepete · 11-10-12, 05:00 PM

Not every flower can say love, but a Rose can.

Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can.

Not every 'tard can read, but look at you having a go!

Look at you, smiling at the computer!

Pete

11-10-12, 05:25 PM

DJ123 · 11-10-12, 07:35 PM

I was at a job interview the other day and the guy said to me, "I'm going to ask you three questions and I want you to give me three quick fire answers." So he said, "First question, how old are you?", I said "Quick fire."

12-10-12, 05:00 PM

Wife: Stan’s got one of those things that stop you backing into other cars when you park at Asda. What do they call them?

Husband: A penis.

13-10-12, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by metalangel

Wife: Stan’s got one of those things that stop you backing into other cars when you park at Asda. What do they call them?

Husband: A penis.

Even been proved with science XD

DJ123 · 14-10-12, 09:39 PM

Pythagoras walks into a bar muttering, 'If a right-angled triangle has a short side, X, a long side, Y, and hypotenuse, Z, then the square of Z must be equal to the sum of the square of X and the square of, erm... uh...'

The barman says, 'Y, the long face?'

DJ123 · 14-10-12, 09:42 PM

That Skyfall looks boring.

There's no Bond girls, and only one stunt, a 10 minute parachute jump.

Bri w · 15-10-12, 08:59 PM

More scandal at the BBC!!

Its been announced that Morph was a Playdofile...

09-10-12, 06:57 AM	#612
DJ123 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Somewhere over there Posts: 3,245	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?" First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..." Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown." Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks: "Does a fart have lumps?" The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!" "OK...then I DEFINITELY **** my pants..." __________________ BMW F800ST

11-10-12, 05:00 PM	#613
Bluepete Member Mega Poster Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Ex motorcyclist Posts: 1,961	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Not every flower can say love, but a Rose can. Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can. Not every 'tard can read, but look at you having a go! Look at you, smiling at the computer! Pete

11-10-12, 07:35 PM	#615
DJ123 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Somewhere over there Posts: 3,245	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes I was at a job interview the other day and the guy said to me, "I'm going to ask you three questions and I want you to give me three quick fire answers." So he said, "First question, how old are you?", I said "Quick fire." __________________ BMW F800ST

12-10-12, 05:00 PM	#616
metalangel Guest Posts: n/a	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Wife: Stan’s got one of those things that stop you backing into other cars when you park at Asda. What do they call them? Husband: A penis.

14-10-12, 09:39 PM	#618
DJ123 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Somewhere over there Posts: 3,245	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Pythagoras walks into a bar muttering, 'If a right-angled triangle has a short side, X, a long side, Y, and hypotenuse, Z, then the square of Z must be equal to the sum of the square of X and the square of, erm... uh...' The barman says, 'Y, the long face?' __________________ BMW F800ST

14-10-12, 09:42 PM	#619
DJ123 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Somewhere over there Posts: 3,245	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes That Skyfall looks boring. There's no Bond girls, and only one stunt, a 10 minute parachute jump. __________________ BMW F800ST

15-10-12, 08:59 PM	#620
Bri w Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Turre, Almeria Posts: 668	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes More scandal at the BBC!! Its been announced that Morph was a Playdofile... __________________ *"It's not the years in your life, it's the life in your years."* Currently - Fighting the urge... seen a nice Triumph America Previously - Honda CB125, Honda CB400-4 & BSA B40, Moto Guzzi 850, Yamaha RD250, Suzuki GT380, Kawasaki Z1B, Kawasaki Z650, Honda VFR, Triumph Street Triple R.

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