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Idle Banter For non SV and non bike related chat (and the odd bit of humour - but if any post isn't suitable it'll get deleted real quick). There's also a "U" rating so please respect this. Newbies can also say "hello" here too. |
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06-11-12, 07:35 PM
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#651 |
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Join Date: Jul 2011
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Police : Where do you live?
Me: With my girlfriend. Police: Where does your girlfriend live? Me: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Me: Together. Police: Where is your house? Me: Next to my neighbours' house. Police: Where is your neighbours' house? Me: If I tell you you won't believe me! Police: Tell us! Me: Next to my house
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07-11-12, 10:06 AM
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#652 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
... you're nicked smart ****
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09-11-12, 02:54 PM
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#653 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Now then, now then, now then, in at 11, it's me.
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09-11-12, 02:59 PM
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#654 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
A bar in New York is serving a new cocktail called The Sandy. It's just a watered down Manhattan.
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09-11-12, 03:00 PM
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#655 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
In a bad year for celebrities Jimmy Carr comes across as being a bit of a saint. He was only caught tax fiddling
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09-11-12, 03:01 PM
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#656 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Belmarsh prison has just opened a new wing to house high profile sex offenders. They've named it Savile Row.
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13-11-12, 08:51 PM
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#657 |
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Join Date: Jul 2011
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
My wife came in starving today so I made her a great big cheese and ham salad sandwich.
"Don't eat it just yet, just hold the plate" I said. Five minutes later I took it off her and threw it in the bin. "What the ****?!" she snarled. "Remember this feeling," I said. "Next time you come to bed all sexy, in a nightie, smelling gorgeous and ask me just to hold you."
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13-11-12, 08:53 PM
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#658 |
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Join Date: Jul 2011
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
My wife is wearing one of those skirts where I can just see the edge of her bum poking out.
I'd probably find it sexy if the skirt wasn't knee length.
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16-11-12, 07:38 PM
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#659 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me. My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age but eventually there she was, stood beside me. I gave her a cheeky wink and said " get that f*****g trolley over here, they're doing 3 cases of Stella for the price of 2
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17-11-12, 11:12 PM
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#660 |
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Join Date: Jul 2011
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Newtons third law of Emotion: For every male action, there is a female overreaction.
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