The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

The three wise men arrive at the stable. As they go in, the tallest one bangs his head on the beams.

"Jesus Christ!," he yells.

"Quick, write that down Mary," shouts Joseph, "it's a lot better than 'Kevin'".

[Jayneflakes]

Originally Posted by wyrdness

The new movie 'Iron Lady', about the life of Mrs Thatcher, has been classified PG. Apparently it's unsuitable for miners.

I am stealing that one!

Talking of the Iron Lady, when she pops her clogs, do you think the proposed State Funeral should be privatised?

Originally Posted by The Idle Biker

Talking of the Iron Lady, when she pops her clogs, do you think the proposed State Funeral should be privatised?

Quick, tell Sid!

Originally Posted by DJFridge

Quick, tell Sid!

ssshhh no way, I can see a 2,000 word essay on the evils of anything slightly left of Ronald Regan coming our way.

Let's Play BLOCKBUSTERS...................................













What "D" is Bob Holness????

[Dave20046]

decomposing?

Bob Holness bumps into Amy Winehouse in the afterlife, and the first thing she says to him is "Can I have an E please Bob?"

[BanannaMan]

An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green,red,orange,blue,and yellow. The old man Just stared.

Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.

[tinpants]

A Royal Engineer moved to London after his discharge and went to Harrod's looking for a job.

The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?'

The young man answered, 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home before I joined the Corps.'

The manager liked the Sapper so he gave him the job.

His first day was challenging and busy, but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked,

'OK, so how many sales did you make today?'

The Sapper said, 'One!'

The manager groaned and continued, 'Just one?

Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day

'How much was the sale for?'
'£124,237.64p..'

The manager choked and exclaimed £124,237.64!!

What the hell did you sell him?'

'Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook

and then I sold him a new fishing rod.'

'Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at

the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the

boat department and I sold him that twin-engine Power Cat.'

'Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4x4.

The manager, incredulous, said, 'You mean to tell me...a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a 4x4?'

'No, no, no... he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his lady friend and I said...

"Well, since your weekend's buggered, you might as well go fishing".