The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes - Page 70 - SV650.org

Doinitmyway · 12-01-13, 09:43 PM

A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says
'Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident'.
The blonde starts sobbing "That's horrible!!! So many men dying like that!"

After a few minutes the blonde, still sobbing, says "How many is a Brazilian?"

punyXpress · 14-01-13, 05:02 PM

To commemorate the release 0f the topless photos of Kate Middleton, Royal Doulton will be releasing a Collector’s Edition of two small jugs.

punyXpress · 14-01-13, 05:07 PM

A Mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche

punyXpress · 14-01-13, 05:11 PM

“IT’S a Boy” I shouted, “A Boy, I DON’T BELIVE IT, IT’S A BOY” and with the tears streaming down my face I swore I’d never visit another Thai brothel!

15-01-13, 11:45 PM

To commemorate the release of the topless photos of Kate Middleton, Royal Doulton will be releasing a Collectors' Edition of two small jugs.
-----------------------

Seven wheelchair athletes were been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

------------------------

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.
---------------------

A reminder to those who stole electrical goods in last year's riots:
your one year manufacturer's warranty runs out soon.

-------------------

"ITS A BOY!" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY!" And, with tears streaming down my face, I swore I'd never visit another Thai brothel.

-------------------------
----------------------

The 100 metres final at the 2012 Olympics was just like any other Friday night in London: a gunshot followed by eight black geezers legging it.

----------------------------

In the first few days of the Olympics, the Romanians took gold, silver, bronze, copper, lead, and anything else they could get their bloody hands on.

-------------------------------

The Sailing results are in: GB took gold, USA took silver, and Somalia took a middle-aged couple from Weymouth.

dizzyblonde · 16-01-13, 12:50 PM

In light of recent findings of horse meat, in Tesco beef burgers.....

Tesco veggie burgers are being tested for traces of uniquorn.

16-01-13, 12:55 PM

I bought the Mrs a pair of Union Flag knickers
I call them her Belfast knickers.
Every time I take them down there is a protest.

Doinitmyway · 16-01-13, 01:17 PM

I dont know why everyones worried about the Tesco horse burgers.

My mate told me to check out the meatballs - they are the dogs b*ll*cks....

16-01-13, 01:29 PM

I just checked the Tesco burgers in my freezer....... and they're off!

Doinitmyway · 16-01-13, 01:45 PM

Horses in Burgers at Tescos?!!?!!?

What next?

My Lidl pony?!!?!!?

12-01-13, 09:43 PM	#691
Doinitmyway Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Nr Southend-on-Sea, Essex Posts: 154	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says 'Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident'. The blonde starts sobbing "That's horrible!!! So many men dying like that!" After a few minutes the blonde, still sobbing, says "How many is a Brazilian?" __________________ 10 GSX650F 95 BMW Funduro 89 FZR250R (x2) 92 RG80 (x2!) 89 AR125 - 89 RG125 75 CB200

14-01-13, 05:02 PM	#692
punyXpress Member Mega Poster Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Riding, North Posts: 2,664	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes To commemorate the release 0f the topless photos of Kate Middleton, Royal Doulton will be releasing a Collector’s Edition of two small jugs. __________________ Was: K2 naked in rapid yellow - gone to a better? place Now: Street Triple R

14-01-13, 05:07 PM	#693
punyXpress Member Mega Poster Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Riding, North Posts: 2,664	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes A Mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche __________________ Was: K2 naked in rapid yellow - gone to a better? place Now: Street Triple R

14-01-13, 05:11 PM	#694
punyXpress Member Mega Poster Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Riding, North Posts: 2,664	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes “IT’S a Boy” I shouted, “A Boy, I DON’T BELIVE IT, IT’S A BOY” and with the tears streaming down my face I swore I’d never visit another Thai brothel! __________________ Was: K2 naked in rapid yellow - gone to a better? place Now: Street Triple R

15-01-13, 11:45 PM	#695
Specialone Guest Posts: n/a	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes To commemorate the release of the topless photos of Kate Middleton, Royal Doulton will be releasing a Collectors' Edition of two small jugs. ----------------------- Seven wheelchair athletes were been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40. ------------------------ A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher. --------------------- A reminder to those who stole electrical goods in last year's riots: your one year manufacturer's warranty runs out soon. ------------------- "ITS A BOY!" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY!" And, with tears streaming down my face, I swore I'd never visit another Thai brothel. ------------------------- ---------------------- The 100 metres final at the 2012 Olympics was just like any other Friday night in London: a gunshot followed by eight black geezers legging it. ---------------------------- In the first few days of the Olympics, the Romanians took gold, silver, bronze, copper, lead, and anything else they could get their bloody hands on. ------------------------------- The Sailing results are in: GB took gold, USA took silver, and Somalia took a middle-aged couple from Weymouth.

16-01-13, 12:50 PM	#696
dizzyblonde Da Cake Boss Mega Poster Join Date: May 2007 Location: On a flying Horse Posts: 9,992	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes In light of recent findings of horse meat, in Tesco beef burgers..... Tesco veggie burgers are being tested for traces of uniquorn. __________________ Suzy, yellow 2001 SVS. Kitty, V-Raptor 1000, ZZR1400<<its my bike now Pegasus! Hovis 13.8.75-3.10.09 Reeder 20.7.88-21.3.12

16-01-13, 12:55 PM	#697
Dicky Ticker Guest Posts: n/a	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes I bought the Mrs a pair of Union Flag knickers I call them her Belfast knickers. Every time I take them down there is a protest.

16-01-13, 01:17 PM	#698
Doinitmyway Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Nr Southend-on-Sea, Essex Posts: 154	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes I dont know why everyones worried about the Tesco horse burgers. My mate told me to check out the meatballs - they are the dogs bllcks.... __________________ 10 GSX650F 95 BMW Funduro 89 FZR250R (x2) 92 RG80 (x2!) 89 AR125 - 89 RG125 75 CB200 Last edited by Doinitmyway; 16-01-13 at 01:18 PM.

16-01-13, 01:29 PM	#699
M65 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes I just checked the Tesco burgers in my freezer....... and they're off!

16-01-13, 01:45 PM	#700
Doinitmyway Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Nr Southend-on-Sea, Essex Posts: 154	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Horses in Burgers at Tescos?!!?!!? What next? My Lidl pony?!!?!!? __________________ 10 GSX650F 95 BMW Funduro 89 FZR250R (x2) 92 RG80 (x2!) 89 AR125 - 89 RG125 75 CB200

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