Gripe of the day - What is yours?

[maviczap]

Originally Posted by Bri w

Someone, foolishly, moved to Aberdeen. Does it ever get above freezing this far north? And what day is summer booked for this year?

Originally Posted by DarrenSV650S

I made the same mistake. I want out

Summer was October last year so who knows this year. Don't book anything

Did you not read the Trip Advisor report

Swimming In The North Sea

And during the day, they would take us to factories and stuff, and for, y'know, a wee boy thats good, you know, that's very interesting, but there was a teacher there, that didn't like me, because I couldn't play football. And he... I'm not very good at football, and he would say "Come on, Connolly, you big ****ing Jessie" That's what you're called, if you can't play football. "Come on, you big bloody Jessie. Tomorrow we are going swimming in the North Sea." And we did. Now the North Sea... Now Aberdeen is a beach, 'cause it's got sand. There the similarity to beaches ends. That's the North Sea for Christ sake. That's the Arctic Ocean just around the corner. 'Cause the Arctic comes down and then it becomes the Atlantic and splits up into the North Sea. On the horizon there's oil rigs. "Now hear this. All employees must wear survival suits at all times. You wouldn't last two minutes, if you fell into the North Sea. Failure to wear the survival suit will result in instant dismissal." Forty miles away there are women taking their childrens clothes off. "In you go, you big Jessie." I had to get stripped. There was fish looking in the water saying "There's a ****ing pale blue guy coming in." Standing there, skinny, muscles like knots in a midgets p***s. And my swimming costume, it was that knitted cotton stuff, with a belt and a ****ing pocket, the reason for which escapes me completely. None of your Speedo, second skin. This was more your second cardigan. Big wooly number, you know. If you were stupid enough to go in above your waist, they grew, like this. It was absorbent, could drag you to the bottom. You had to grab armfulls, when you were coming out, the crotch was away down here. People could look in and see your willy, if you had one, but in the North Sea, you don't.

I read a magazine. Sumo wrestlers... it was one of those in-flight magazines. Cliff Michelmore, authority on everything, had written it. Sumo wrestlers have such exquisite control of their bodies, they can withdraw their testicles at will. Wuish. So you aim a hefty boot, and they go wuish. Poof. "Is that the best you can do?" I could do it when I was twelve. One foot in and I see the whole ****ing lot disappear. An ugly gaping wound. Whole thing shut up to my lungs. I had to get it out with a chimney sweeps brush. This is why Scottish guys don't look sexy on the beach, it's all flopping around here. You go to the Mediteranian or Carrabian people are wandering around with a huge thing... like a baby's arm hanging out of the pram. There's your warm water, lap, lap. The wuish has gone. "Connolly, in the water." "I'm going, I'm going." "Come on, you big bloody Jessie, get in there." I ran down and put my foot in, and my heart stopped. I'd never felt cold like that before, and I heard this weird noise: "Whooouuuiiiiiiii. Whooooouuuuuaaaaiiiiii." "What the ****ing hell was that?" It was me! You know the way, when you get a fright. You know, if you go through a dark room, and an icy hand touches you. Inside your leg or something. Nah. You don't go "Oh, what my goodness. Oh, what was that? Oh gosh!" No, you go "Whooooouuuuuaaaaiiiiii." It's something you're not in control of. "Whooouuuiiiiiiii." You can hear it. Normally you can't hear yourself, you kind of feel it, but that you can hear like it's some other bugger. "Whooouuuoooo." It's something deeply primal, something from when we lived up trees, it's stamped in your DNA or something. "Whooooouuuuuaaaaiiiiii." It's closely related to the "Blutherlyooouuuuuhhh." "Oooouuuuoooooo." You know the noise you get, when you shove a new-boiled potato up a donkey's ****. It's exactly the same noise. "Whohohouhohuhu. Ooouuooo." So the other guys are saying "Go in further, you big ****ing Jessie." "Oooouuuooooohhh. Ooohhuuuu." And I wandered, up to my knees. I lost the will to live. "Billy!" "Uuhhooop" "Look over there." "Uuuoopp." "Look over there." "Uuoooppp? Uuuhhooo!" There was a guy in a speedboat, a *******." "Brrrrr." "Uhhooop." Waving. "Uuhooohh." Coming towards me. I didn't want to run, case I fell in. "Uuhooohh." It actually slid in my direction. I hoped it would go away. It got bigger. "Uuhooohh." I will never forget, as long as my **** looks so... I will never forget that wave going up the inside of my thighs. "Uuhooohh." And it kissed the underside of my scrotum. "Aarrrggghhh."

[Sir Trev]

Carphone Warehouse.

That should be enough on its own but let me put it in context. Talk Mobile have started pestering me to upgrade and after doing my homework have narrowed my choice down to two handsets. In town this morning so I wandered into CW and got pounced on by a pimply youth who ignored what I was saying and assured me I should get something else. Walked out two minutes later as he would not leave me alone. Looked up his suggestion later and its slower and has a lower res screen than the two I had in mind so he was clearly on a commission push and sod the customer. If I never go in one of their shops again it will still be too soon!

[DarrenSV650S]

Two manned tills open in Asda. Two! The queues for them were spread over 5 or 6 isles. After 10~15 minutes of waiting, watching the checkout girls slowly scanning items, both looking very chilled, not rushing, stopping a few times to chat with their colleagues, I had enough, so I left my trolley full of food and walked out.

[maviczap]

Great solution, that's the way supermarkets should be treated.

[Kenzie]

I thought they were supposed to open a new till if more than one person was in front of you?

[NTECUK]

Go to Tesco get your stuff and sat your pay them in a year's time in line with the same policy they have with their supplies lol

[DarrenSV650S]

Can't tell if you are being sarcastic mav?

Dunno about that kenzie but two tills when it is that busy is a joke

[Trev B]

It's all part of the big trick to make you use the automatic checkouts,you know those things that in 5 years time will get rid of jobs and put people on the Rock and roll,MORE profit with less personal contact with customers.I avoid them like the plague and yes they have them over here as well,new world order my friends,coming faster than you think !!!!

[maviczap]

Originally Posted by DarrenSV650S

Can't tell if you are being sarcastic mav?

Dunno about that kenzie but two tills when it is that busy is a joke

Nope, I'd do exactly the same thing, if a store manager can't do better than this, then walk out.

Its the only way to get their attention. If they'd told you they were short staffed, then I'd have understood.

[maviczap]

Originally Posted by Trev B

It's all part of the big trick to make you use the automatic checkouts,you know those things that in 5 years time will get rid of jobs and put people on the Rock and roll,MORE profit with less personal contact with customers.I avoid them like the plague and yes they have them over here as well,new world order my friends,coming faster than you think !!!!

Only works for baskets at the mo. If the trolley totted up the sales and then you checked out automatically when you past a point, then I could see the end of checkouts.

I could see that being the future.