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Old 27-06-13, 08:14 AM   #21
ClunkintheUK
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Default Re: What is the most intellectual joke you know?

^^ reminds me of this.

http://xkcd.com/669/
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Old 27-06-13, 08:32 PM   #22
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Default Re: What is the most intellectual joke you know?

School chemistry teacher's favourite joke:

Cations are pussytive.

But at least I never got anode and cathode mixed up after that!
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Old 27-06-13, 10:17 PM   #23
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Default Re: What is the most intellectual joke you know?

It takes a crank to start a revolution.
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Old 27-06-13, 10:35 PM   #24
The Idle Biker
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Default Re: What is the most intellectual joke you know?

How is a pussy like a grapefruit? The best ones squirt when you eat them.

Oh come on now someone was going to bring this down a level or 3
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Old 27-06-13, 11:08 PM   #25
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Default Re: What is the most intellectual joke you know?

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Idle Biker View Post
How is a pussy like a grapefruit? The best ones squirt when you eat them.

Oh come on now someone was going to bring this down a level or 3


Bit close to the rating mate. Funny, but a bit close.
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Old 28-06-13, 08:03 AM   #26
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Default Re: What is the most intellectual joke you know?

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'

Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.'

'What does that tell you?'

Watson ponders for a minute. 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?'

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. 'Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.'
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Old 28-06-13, 09:21 AM   #27
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Default What is the most intellectual joke you know?

Why use a large word when a smaller one would suffice?
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Old 28-06-13, 11:49 AM   #28
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Default Re: What is the most intellectual joke you know?

Not really a joke. But daftly intellectual.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcS3N...e_gdata_player
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Old 29-06-13, 03:40 AM   #29
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Default Re: What is the most intellectual joke you know?

A company offered me a job earning twice what I'm making now.
Of course I turned them down.
I already have a job like that.




How about a riddle?


3 men were traveling late at night, their car started making funny noises and they decided that they needed to get a hotel room and diagnose the car's problems in the morning.
They pull over at the first hotel they see.

They walk in and approach the bellhop and explain that they are on their way back home and really low on money and need the cheapest room available.
The bellhop tells them that they have a small 1 bed room for £ 30 a night, the men agree and each pay £ 10 to cover the £ 30 fee.

After the bellhop shows the men to their room he is approached by the manager who inquired about the situation, the manager sympathized with the men and instructed the bellhop to give them £ 5 off the usual rate due to the circumstance.

The bellhop got thinking, there's no way I can split £ 5 evenly, so instead he put £ 2 in his pocket and gave each man back £ 1. So now each man had invested only £ 9 in the room as opposed to the previous rate of £ 10.

But if 3 men invest £ 9, bringing the total investment to £ 27, and the bellhop pocketed £ 2, that is a total of £ 29.
What started as £ 30 has now become £ 29, where did the extra pound go?











You want intellectual from an American?
That's a good one!
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Last edited by BanannaMan; 29-06-13 at 04:23 AM.
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Old 29-06-13, 08:52 AM   #30
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Default Re: What is the most intellectual joke you know?

You subtract the Bell hops money not add it.
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