One 'lucky' lady will win this Valentines.

Originally Posted by kellyjo

I think Speedplay is free Monday night.....

Nope.

Never.

Not even with cider....


And I've already cancelled him as the girlfriend is coming over.

[Jayneflakes]

Originally Posted by BanannaMan

I have no idea why some might think you're gay.
Good luck though.

I think that the modern term would be Metrosexual...

Right my entry,

Mr Reeder, I am working nights on Monday in a residential home for disabled people, I will be away from my lovely wife on the most romantic day of the year and she will be at home on her own, all alone.

She is about five foot ten, cuddly and can punch through the engine block of a Fiat Uno! She likes to dominate men, so if you could turn up at ours, dressed in smooth black rubber pants and a ball gag that would be awesome. I would advise taking out medical insurance and making sure that you have some good deep colonic irrigation before attending.

The last victim, sorry I mean date, that we had round has not left yet, probably because they can't get out of the tea chest in the cellar what with all of the chains and the hobbling we did with the sledge hammer. The genital piercing we did with the rusty nail seems to have healed up now, although the end did drop off first and the chap does whimper slightly every time he tries to wee, stand or pull the nail out.

Should you manage to escape, sorry I mean leave, on time into your taxi, it is likely that you will need a shower once you get home, mainly to wash off the blood, the filth and the shame. The limp will fade in time, but the nightmares tend to take a bit longer.

Should you still be here upon my return from work, you will find that I am very good with forceps and medical probes. The last chap I practice on can now do a convincing impression of a garden sprinkler! You will like our dungeon, sorry I mean flat, with its triple glazing and sound proofing that muffles the screams and if we need to feed you, you can have your very own bowl On the floor with only the best pedigree chum to eat.

I shall look forwards to your "entry"

Hugs,

Aunty Jayne
XXXX

[Stuuk1]

[QUOTE=Jayneflakes;2480486]I think that the modern term would be Metrosexual...

Right my entry,

Mr Reeder, I am working nights on Monday in a residential home for disabled people, I will be away from my lovely wife on the most romantic day of the year and she will be at home on her own, all alone.

She is about five foot ten, cuddly and can punch through the engine block of a Fiat Uno! She likes to dominate men, so if you could turn up at ours, dressed in smooth black rubber pants and a ball gag that would be awesome. I would advise taking out medical insurance and making sure that you have some good deep colonic irrigation before attending.

The last victim, sorry I mean date, that we had round has not left yet, probably because they can't get out of the tea chest in the cellar what with all of the chains and the hobbling we did with the sledge hammer. The genital piercing we did with the rusty nail seems to have healed up now, although the end did drop off first and the chap does whimper slightly every time he tries to wee, stand or pull the nail out.

Should you manage to escape, sorry I mean leave, on time into your taxi, it is likely that you will need a shower once you get home, mainly to wash off the blood, the filth and the shame. The limp will fade in time, but the nightmares tend to take a bit longer. [-o

[andrewsmith]

jayne as usual you've made me smile with a sadistic pleasure.
You evil person

Originally Posted by andrewsmith

jayne as usual you've made me smile with a sadistic pleasure.
You evil person

Just wondering... Do you ever stop kissing ass Smithers?

Reeder, obviously you and I are made for each other as I quite like that jumper...

Originally Posted by Graciepants

Reeder, obviously you and I are made for each other as I quite like that jumper...

Sounds like we have a winner...

Reeder I thought you had a girlfriend? (genuinely)



Or was that an elaborate cover up?

Does this mean we're over? I though we had something special when you told me you liked me armpits

[Teejayexc]

Originally Posted by Reeder

Ah the blonde... God knows what's going on there. Went out again Sunday and had another good time, spoke again Monday about doing something again soon but not spoken to since. The ball's in her court!

Could this be where you are going wrong