The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes - Page 108 - SV650.org

DarrenSV650S · 23-09-14, 09:55 PM

phi-dan · 23-09-14, 10:48 PM

I thought that if i took the shell off a snail it would make it go faster. It didn't work, it just made it more sluggish

daveyrach · 26-09-14, 07:21 AM

Iphone 6.JPG

daveyrach · 26-09-14, 07:22 AM

Careful putting your MacBook in your pocket....
MacBook.JPG

BanannaMan · 08-10-14, 05:39 AM

I failed my history test today.
Apparently, "three centuries of inbreeding" is not the correct answer to "how did the American people evolve?"

I can honestly say I've shagged tonnes of women.
Of course they were both Americans.

Three Americans walk into a bar...

Okay, scratch that. Two Americans walk into a bar. The third is too obese to even get through the doorway. He successfully sues the architect and the bartender for 20 million dollars for hurt feelings, then spends his winnings in McDonald's. He later sues McDonald's for selling an obese man cheeseburgers.

Matt-EUC · 08-10-14, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BanannaMan

Three Americans walk into a bar...

Okay, scratch that. Two Americans walk into a bar. The third is too obese to even get through the doorway. He successfully sues the architect and the bartender for 20 million dollars for hurt feelings, then spends his winnings in McDonald's. He later sues McDonald's for selling an obese man cheeseburgers.

Didn't this actually happen?? I seem to remember reading about it.

BanannaMan · 09-10-14, 04:02 AM

Wikipedia's first option under languages is 'Simple English'.
Why don't they just say American?

littleoldman2 · 10-10-14, 04:11 PM

Think I'll have ebola soup

Matt-EUC · 10-10-14, 10:56 PM

http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-conten...of_misfits.gif

punyXpress · 11-10-14, 02:49 PM

It was the Scotland/Wales rugby International weekend in Edinburgh and as
the crowds made their way down Princes Street towards Murrayfield, a
Rottweiler suddenly lunged towards an eight year old Scottish lass, with its
jaws wide open ready to attack.

The crowd nearby gasped in horror but, quick as a flash, a man in red jumped
out of the crowd, grabbed the dog by the throat and throttled it.

As the dead dog lay there, and the crowd cheered in admiration, a journalist
from the Glasgow Herald who had witnessed the heroic deed, went up to the
man and said, 'That was brilliant, I can see the headline now -

'Welsh Rugby Fan Saves Young Girl From Certain Death'.

The man replied, 'No you've got it wrong. I'm not here for the rugby!'

'Don't worry' said the journalist, 'I can see the headline now -

'Welshman Saves Girl From Jaws Of Rottweiler'.

The man replied, 'No you're wrong again. I'm not Welsh; I'm from London .'

The journalist said, 'Don't worry; I can see the headline now -

'English ******* Strangles Family Pet'..

23-09-14, 09:55 PM	#1071
DarrenSV650S Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Dundee Posts: 4,404	The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

23-09-14, 10:48 PM	#1072
phi-dan Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: going up Camborne hill coming down Posts: 251	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes I thought that if i took the shell off a snail it would make it go faster. It didn't work, it just made it more sluggish __________________ Was: Red curvy S: crash bungs, double bubble screen, fenda extenda, HEL front lines, OEM belly pan Now: Blue FZ6 Fazer

26-09-14, 07:21 AM	#1073
daveyrach Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Reading, Berkshire Posts: 934	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Iphone 6.JPG __________________ Currently bikeless - Driving a 2012 Chevrolet Aveo

26-09-14, 07:22 AM	#1074
daveyrach Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Reading, Berkshire Posts: 934	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Careful putting your MacBook in your pocket.... MacBook.JPG __________________ Currently bikeless - Driving a 2012 Chevrolet Aveo

08-10-14, 05:39 AM	#1075
BanannaMan Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Appalachia Posts: 419	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes I failed my history test today. Apparently, "three centuries of inbreeding" is not the correct answer to "how did the American people evolve?" I can honestly say I've shagged tonnes of women. Of course they were both Americans. Three Americans walk into a bar... Okay, scratch that. Two Americans walk into a bar. The third is too obese to even get through the doorway. He successfully sues the architect and the bartender for 20 million dollars for hurt feelings, then spends his winnings in McDonald's. He later sues McDonald's for selling an obese man cheeseburgers. __________________ ...Bill *"The Mountains are calling and I must go"* Last edited by BanannaMan; 08-10-14 at 05:40 AM.

09-10-14, 04:02 AM	#1077
BanannaMan Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Appalachia Posts: 419	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Wikipedia's first option under languages is 'Simple English'. Why don't they just say American? __________________ ...Bill *"The Mountains are calling and I must go"*

10-10-14, 04:11 PM	#1078
littleoldman2 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Cramlington Northumberland where we are truely blessed Posts: 1,385	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Think I'll have ebola soup __________________ used to be littleoldman but forgot password due to failing memory

10-10-14, 10:56 PM	#1079
Matt-EUC Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Alton, Hampshire Posts: 1,606	The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-conten...of_misfits.gif __________________ Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit - Ad infinitum et ultra White 650 V-Strom -No mods Blue curvy 650 (OMFG I FIXED IT!!!) -200mm Delkevic Stubby.

11-10-14, 02:49 PM	#1080
punyXpress Member Mega Poster Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Riding, North Posts: 2,664	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes It was the Scotland/Wales rugby International weekend in Edinburgh and as the crowds made their way down Princes Street towards Murrayfield, a Rottweiler suddenly lunged towards an eight year old Scottish lass, with its jaws wide open ready to attack. The crowd nearby gasped in horror but, quick as a flash, a man in red jumped out of the crowd, grabbed the dog by the throat and throttled it. As the dead dog lay there, and the crowd cheered in admiration, a journalist from the Glasgow Herald who had witnessed the heroic deed, went up to the man and said, 'That was brilliant, I can see the headline now - 'Welsh Rugby Fan Saves Young Girl From Certain Death'. The man replied, 'No you've got it wrong. I'm not here for the rugby!' 'Don't worry' said the journalist, 'I can see the headline now - 'Welshman Saves Girl From Jaws Of Rottweiler'. The man replied, 'No you're wrong again. I'm not Welsh; I'm from London .' The journalist said, 'Don't worry; I can see the headline now - 'English ******* Strangles Family Pet'.. __________________ Was: K2 naked in rapid yellow - gone to a better? place Now: Street Triple R

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