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Old 21-06-18, 12:15 PM   #11
Bibio
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Default Re: Smile of the day - What is yours?

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Originally Posted by Luckypants View Post
Folks, as personal care of elderly relatives is an important topic of itself, would anyone object to me making a new thread with the relevant posts in it?

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good idea.
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Old 22-06-18, 07:22 AM   #12
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Default Re: Elderly Personal Care Help

My mother was asked to leave two care homes.


She worked until she was 70 as a nurse. But she went blind and lost her mobility. A fall caused her a 6 week stay in hospital because of a fractured collar bone. 1 week for the fracture and 5 weeks for the hospital acquired infection. Nurses off other wards who knew her, would come to help her. Those on the ward could not be bothered. So once out of hospital she had 3 months convalescence whilst we found her a care home.


Home 1, was local to all. So convenient for for all to visit. But the only available room was on the first floor. No problem we thought, until phoned by the staff. She would not leave her room as she was frightened to use the stair lift as the main lift was out of order. We were not surprised, blind, transferred from wheel chair to stair lift. We then discovered her clothing missing, being given to other residents etc. When we complained we were told take her else where by the end of the week!



So emergency move to another local care home. That was a terrible place. Food very poor, stunk of you know what. But at least she was on the ground floor. But she was disorientated, did not know where she was and would shout all the time for help. Please find somewhere else she is disturbing the others.


So she went to live at my brothers for a year, he had to recruit a carer for 5 days a week whilst we all worked. The joke there was the carer earned more than him, so my mother paid to stay. until we could no longer cope.



Place 3 a few miles away. But purpose built. Individual bathrooms, ground floor, wide doorways for her chair. she lasted there for 18 months, put on a little weight and when she was ill the staff would pop in every 10 mins etc just to check/chat with her.


Letting her home helped with the costs, but care still took about 100 grand over her final years. It left her penniless, yet the council still insisted she had more assets hidden. They tried to view the money paid to a private carer as drip feeding money out of her account.
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Old 22-06-18, 05:30 PM   #13
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Default Re: Elderly Personal Care Help

Anyone with elderly relatives or not, then get a Lasting Power of Attorney in place before they loose their marbles

One for finance & one for health. Easy to complete online, don't pay anyone to do it for you

My wife is battling her mum to get her to complete one, as her mum thinks my wife is going to steal all her money,my MIL is still of sound mind! This is despite me telling my MIL how much easier things are will one in place! There are horror stories about children robbing their parents, but its rare

Glad I got my mum's financial one done before she lost her mental capability.

https://www.gov.uk/lasting-power-att...health-welfare

https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney
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Old 22-06-18, 05:55 PM   #14
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Default Re: Elderly Personal Care Help

i'm seriously considering selling my house in the very near future to my kids for 1 each with a clause of 100 year lease with 0 rent.
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Old 22-06-18, 05:58 PM   #15
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Default Re: Elderly Personal Care Help

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i'm seriously considering selling my house in the very near future to my kids for 1 each with a clause of 100 year lease with 0 rent.
Do it, that way when you are old, the council can't say you sold it to avoid selling it to pay for your care.

There is a term for this, which councils are aware of
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Old 22-06-18, 06:18 PM   #16
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Default Re: Elderly Personal Care Help

"Deliberate deprivation" of assets is the term used. It means getting rid of assets or cash in order to avoid paying care costs and councils use it frequently to claw back money. its a bit of a minefield so worth getting advice on what you can and cant do and when.
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Old 09-07-18, 12:57 PM   #17
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Default Re: Elderly Personal Care Help

I thought the healthcare LPA had a section about DNR in it? Or is that not specific enough?
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Old 10-07-18, 08:46 AM   #18
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Default Re: Elderly Personal Care Help

Ah right, just looked it up and on the LPA there is basically one question that asks if the donor authorises the attorney to make a decision on life-sustaining treatment, signed by the donor and witnessed. Not quite the same.
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