Rowdy - news?

[garynortheast]

Hey Rowdy, just wondering how you are and if you are at least recovering from your bike spill?

[rowdy]

Hi Gary, thanks for asking. Dont quite remember where I got up to in the other thread, but the outcome so far was, from the crash, fractured rib, fractured wrist, partially collapsed lung, blood on the lung. I’m pretty much all ok as far as these injuries go. The ct scan and further MRI scan revealed a tumour in my left hip bone and a tumour in my adrenal gland. The consultants I have seen for both of these are happy that they are benign and nothing to worry about, however I do have to go for hormone therapy for the tumour on my adrenal gland as it affects pretty much all the hormones in my body, and I have to see the respiratory team about chronic lung disease.

Mentally I am all over the shop. The tumour/hormone problem does not help this one bit. Then there is the stress of my ex. Think I briefly mentioned this before, but she is going through early menopause, has business failings and hit the bottle/drugs and ran off with the drug dealer. I’ve been reading a lot recently about the menopause and it is very common for this sort of thing to happen. While our marriage wasn’t perfect it seems that no matter how hard some blokes try and how supportive they are, women going through it quite often up sticks and leave! On top of this I am currently under referral for an official autism diagnosis, so as you can imagine I am finding things very difficult at the moment. I can’t quite get my head around it, I have been assaulted by my ex in the past when I went out on a date and she flew at me in a rage, even though she suggested I started dating! And she tried to take the house back from me because she wasn’t happy that she gave it up (it is housing association) as I had told her to move in with her boyfriend as I was homeless.
My son is similar to me and on the spectrum. He is 20 years old and last night he nearly tried to kill himself. He rang me having just nearly driven into a tree deliberately at 60mph to try end it all.
I was distraught and tried phoning his mother but as she was with the drug dealer didn’t answer. She did turn up at my house after I sent her some messages, and she then tried telling me to get out of my house again, until I told her I’ve got messages of her drug dealing exploits and have already spoken to the housing association about her moving out.
I then received a provocative message from her boyfriend at 1am. On the night my son nearly tried to kill himself, and my wife will not see that this bloke is a narcissist, that he hasn’t manipulated her into this whole affair with drugs and alcohol, and he is a proven liar and can not be trusted.
I’m not saying our marriage was perfect, of course not or we wouldn’t be in this mess, but it has come as a shock to most people that know us.

Sorry about the long winded rant, but the upshot is physically I’m ok thanks, mentally I am far from ok.

[Craig380]

Bloody hell, I'm very sorry to hear all that, Rowdy. Sending you best wishes that you heal quickly and that you can start to resolve those family issues.

[garynortheast]

Good god man! This sounds really pretty grim. I thought I'd had a hard time over the last 4 years but it wasn't like that.
Are you getting any support from anyone/anywhere, besides the hospital/medical support? It sounds like you could do with someone to share the load just at the moment.

And there's no need to apologise for the rant, there will be a number of sympathetic and supportive folks here if you feel the need to unload.

I suspect once the hormone treatment is underway you may feel better able to cope with the rest of the stuff that's going on. Hang on in there matey and keep us posted on progress.

[rowdy]

Thanks guys. I had my doctors send a referral to MIND, that was 6 months ago and I haven’t heard a thing from them. I do have friends and family to talk to, and have off loaded a lot but I fear I will just start sounding boring, as they can all see through this bloke and say it won’t last but she won’t listen to anyone.

Just need to try and concentrate on myself but it’s very difficult after nearly 30 years together

[embee]

Phew, that's all really tough, I can't begin to understand how hard things are for you not having been in that sort of situation. Hope you can get enough help and support from your friends and family. Best wishes.

[rowdy]

To be honest embee not really. I used to get in great with my in-laws but haven’t really heard anything from them at all. I spoke to my father in law a couple of times shortly after splitting with my wife and he just said she doesn’t deserve me anyway and I can do better. Her sister says the same thing. So does her brother.

The problem is I’ve tried telling her until I’m blue in the face what this bloke is like but she will not listen.
She then thinks it’s a personal attack on her and starts defending him then whinges to the kids, so they get upset about it. I was also getting better until I had the cancer scare and that set me back, which upsets them as they won’t me to forget about their mum, as she treated me like a slave anyway in their eyes.
My brother thinks I should just cut all ties and have nothing to do with her so gets annoyed whenever I have been in contact with her.

How do you switch off caring and trying to look out for someone after nearly 30 years though?
We have known each other over 30 years and know one another inside out yet this bloke she has known 5 minutes.

Don’t want this to start sounding like the Jeremy Kyle show, but after the messages he sent the night my lad nearly topped himself, I have told her if she thinks this is alright then in my eyes she isn’t worth a cup of cold p!ss
He knows I want to slap him so thought that was the right moment to start messaging me, beating in mind he has blocked me for the last 6 months, and tell me to hit him if I am man enough but I won’t (I will) started name calling, told me to put my kids first, even though he is always leaving his 14 year old child at home over night to stay the night with my ex all the time, and starts trying to tell me he isn’t a liar

Now, on to that point. He told me his great grandfather formed newton heath fc (Man Utd) a few years ago on our first encounter. He then told my son a couple weeks ago his great grandad formed Milan football club.

He claims he got rabies on holiday, he won’t say when and where even though every case of the 99% fatal disease has been recorded as a matter of national security. He claims he was put in quarantine on his return to this country. They only quarantine dogs as rabies can not be passed from human to human unless it is through organ donation.

He claimed when I said in passing that my dad was at goodwood when Stirling moss was nearly killed, that he was there too. This incident occurred 10 years before this bloke was born.

He claimed a fairly well known mini race driver that was killed 20 years ago was his godfather.
The racing driver was 10 years old when this bloke was born so how on earth was he is godfather?
I found a video on YouTube of him and went to show this bloke, before my wife and I split up, and he looked terrified and walked away rather sharpish as if he had been rumbled.

His ex wife says he is a fantasist that believes his own bullish!t and I’ve been told by people that know him this is pretty much the case, yet my ex seems to think it’s ok as long as he doesn’t lie to her, which of course he will.
Not only that, but if that is the reputation he has, it is not really going to be good for her businesses if she is associated with that. It also seems to be fairly common knowledge that he is a coke head, and has been for the last 30 years, and is also boarderline alcoholic.