Corperate Lessons

Corporate Lesson 1:
A woman is getting into the shower just as her husband is finishing up his shower, when the doorbell rings. The husband quickly wraps himself in a towel and runs downstairs. When he opens the door, there stands Julie, the next-door neighbour. Before he says a word, Julie says, "I'll give you $100 if you drop that towel" After thinking for a moment, the man drops his towel and stands there naked. Julie hands him the dollars and leaves. The man wraps the towel back round him and goes back upstairs. When he gets to the bathroom, his wife asks, "Who was that?" "It was Julie, from next door," he replies. "Great!" the wife says, "did she say anything about she owes Me money?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure .


Corporate Lesson 2:

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, revealing a stocking. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily moved his hand from the wheel to her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand move over to her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might
miss a great opportunity .


Corporate Lesson 3 : A Sales Rep, an Administration Clerk, and the Manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the Admin. Clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the Sales Rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the Manager. The Manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say .


Corporate Lesson 4 : A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon a farmer, who spotted him, shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bulls *%#t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

ha ha, i like those

Brilliant stuff . My fave is number three and four

Maria