Some Friday Thoughts

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


Why do you have to "put your two cents in"..but it's only a"penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?


Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


What disease did cured ham actually have?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.


Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?


If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!


If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME garbage, why didn't he just buy dinner?


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

[Stu]

I like things like that , my favourite is

"Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?"

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Hahaha I got a smilar one in a forward the other day...

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. And while no one knows what is in a hotdog, you can be pretty sure it isn't canine.
English muffins were not invented in England nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, two meese? Is cheese the plural of choose? One mouse, 2 mice. One louse, 2 lice. One house, 2 hice? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck or
car and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
How can the weather be hot as heck one day and cold as heck another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on. You get in and out of a car, yet you get on and off a bus. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this
essay, I end it?
English is a silly language ... it doesn't know if it is coming or
going!!!

[Spiderman]

Originally Posted by Samnooshka

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

I heard the answer to this recently and its all about the ambient temprature where the toaster is. Apparently if you were in a very very cold place you would have to use the higest setting to get "normal" toast and it wouldnt be a burnt crispy thing.

The bread doesnt touch the heating elements but relies on the air inbetween being hot enough to toast the surface of the bread without drying out the middle.

A question i'd always had myself tbh.

English IS a silly language.

Rose rose from the rose coloured sofa after sitting on a rose!

Originally Posted by Samnooshka

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Originally Posted by Spiderman

I heard the answer to this recently and its all about the ambient temprature where the toaster is. Apparently if you were in a very very cold place you would have to use the higest setting to get "normal" toast and it wouldnt be a burnt crispy thing.

The bread doesnt touch the heating elements but relies on the air inbetween being hot enough to toast the surface of the bread without drying out the middle.

A question i'd always had myself tbh.

It also depends on the water levels on the bread itself. Drier bread will toast faster than a heavier, damper bread.

Yeah, I'm both sad and bored...

Originally Posted by Ping

ah an immortal line from Pinky and the Brain

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Dont know the answer but if they do, the Alphabet song was copied from Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Because Im pretty sure which came first as TTLS was written by Mozart when he was 5 years old.