advice required please

[timwilky]

Tonight I am taking the wife out for dinner, I have also invited a couple we know who are in similar circumstances as the wife.

The guy I know from my local boozer where we sort of have the off pint/chat together, his wife like mine is going through cancer and both lost a brother to cancer at christmas etc. For both it will be their first proper night out since chemo.

When I asked Steve, he declined on the basis that he is finding things a bit tight. I have told him that it is my treat. We are going to a reasonably posh restaurant and I think he will be concerned about the bill and want to contribute etc.

Should I sneak off at the end of the meal and pay? Make a show of it being my treat and demand to pay? or simply say up front that I am pleased that they agreed to be my guests and how much we are looking forward to their company for the evening.

Well off for shower/shave and will read the org advice on my return

dont say nothing just go toilet after meal and settle the bill, good man

[Luckypants]

Hmmm tricky, but you already told the guy it is your treat. Either have a quiet word with him before the meal and re-iterate it is your treat and not to worry about it or the 'glad you agreed to be our guests for the evening' thing.

Have a great evening anyway mate.

[Stu]

If this is really a selfless act that you want the couple (especially Steve who might feel obligated to pay) to enjoy their meal out with you at your expense, then I would just gently make that clear at the start (unless you feel you've done that already) and if you excused yourself at the end & went and paid, I think that couldn't be anything other than appreciated.

Enjoy your night

Make a joke of it, when you sit down and look at the menu say, "now remember I'm paying so you're limited to £6 each", laugh, then say "seriously remember to fill up on the bread they put out", "just incase the starter leaves you hungry when you get home".

Laugh again then ask everyone what they want, and when it comes to ordering YOU take control and order for everyone. Same with desserts, more drinks etc, and YOu are the one who actually aske for the bill.

That way when the bill comes, it will automatically come to you, and nothing more would probably be said.

Originally Posted by kwak zzr

dont say nothing just go toilet after meal and settle the bill, good man

+1


(but fish and chips to take away is not classed as posh)

I think announcing it when the bills arrives would make the others feel uncomfortable.

I'd have a quiet friendly word beforehand to reiterate that it is on. Make it clear from the start.

Young Tim I am sure you will be the epitomy of generosity and diplomacy. Therefore on this occasion, staring long and hard at the bill when it arrives with startled eyes or sucking in through the teeth and shaking of the head might be best avoided. There's a good chap.

[fizzwheel]

As above, nip off to the toilet and pay.