SV650.org - SV650 & Gladius 650 Forum



Idle Banter For non SV and non bike related chat (and the odd bit of humour - but if any post isn't suitable it'll get deleted real quick).
There's also a "U" rating so please respect this. Newbies can also say "hello" here too.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 16-01-06, 03:39 PM   #1
Anonymous
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Irish Jokes

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important
meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a
parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and
give up me Irish Whiskey".

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he
meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against
the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to
heaven?

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father.

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you
die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group
together to go right now."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

O'Toole worked in the lumber yard for twenty years and all that time he'd
been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience began to
bother him and he went to confession to repent.

"Father, it's 15 years since my last confession, and I've been stealing
wood
from the lumber yard all those years," he told the priest.

"I understand my son," says the priest. "Can you make a Novena?"

O'Toole said, "Father, if you have the plans, I've got the lumber."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Paddy was in New York He was patiently waiting, and watching the traffic
cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted,
"Okay pedestrians". Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this
several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy went over
to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the
obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney

"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in
Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and
then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have
you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"


Ok ok ok... Ill get my coat....




"Taxi!!"
  Reply With Quote
Old 16-01-06, 03:55 PM   #2
Filipe M.
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

  Reply With Quote
Old 16-01-06, 03:56 PM   #3
Peter Henry
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

GYKD...That ..."Where are you calling from?" is a bloody cracker!
  Reply With Quote
Old 16-01-06, 04:00 PM   #4
Ping
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I like the water to wine one...
  Reply With Quote
Old 16-01-06, 05:32 PM   #5
Scoobs
Vipers Pillion Bitch
Mega Poster
 
Scoobs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Waterlooville
Posts: 3,933
Default Re: Irish Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by getyerkneedown
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
Genius!
__________________
I look good, I mean really good! Hey everyone come and see how good I look!

Scoobs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-01-06, 05:47 PM   #6
falc
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Brilliant
  Reply With Quote
Old 16-01-06, 08:14 PM   #7
a1a
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I liked them all my friend. I just received the very same today in my e-mail.
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Irish joke to end all Irish jokes... Razor Idle Banter 6 19-10-06 09:29 AM
2 Chinese Jokes Law Idle Banter 21 18-10-06 08:52 PM
Warning: really really bad jokes Law Idle Banter 21 03-09-06 12:59 PM
Jokes therealvw Idle Banter 3 16-06-06 03:33 PM
Few Jokes.... Stormspiel Idle Banter 2 10-03-06 10:44 AM


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:27 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® - Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.