Some advice please

Oh Great people from the org, I need you kind words of wisdom and humour.

I am due to leave the Raf in June next year, and me and the girlfriend are planning to move back to London where I am orignally from so I can try to become a para-medic.

Last night while having a couple of cheeky drinks, my beloved informed me that she no longer wants to leave her village outside dundee and move south, she also said she would like to go for 3, 6 month postings to the falkland islands, cyprus and finally gibralter, before she even thought of settling down with me. (She is a civy who works for the army)

As much as I love her, there is no job market for me in the village, thats why I thought we were moving, to london so we could both earn more money.

If anyone out has any advice I would love to hear from you..

Kind regards a very confused and perplexed

Jinxy

[anna]

It's always confusing when a plan falls through and, no one is going to be able to tell you what to do with your life hun. What skills & qualifications do you have that you may be able to use where you are???

better biking roads in dundee area than London. you must decide to do what is right for you, she seems to be doing what suits her. Let her go to falklands, head down to London, get a job and get settled, keep in touch and hopefully when she returns she will want to move to London with you, if not, maybe not right for each other

Hmmm... ask her why the sudden change of heart... could you go on the postings with her, and do some agency work as an ex-services guy? Is that an option she's likely to consider? Then, after you come back, you would know if you're gonna be compatible for the long-term, and also it'd be a good time for the fresh start in London...

...either that or just bin the fickle moo. (Joke!)

When you say June next year, I assume you mean June 2009? A lot can happen between now and then - by that I mean your g/f might not want to go to the falklands/cyprus etc etc... and you may not even want to go to London.

Was the plan of moving to london a mutual decision? What was she going to do while you tried to be a paramedic?

Its always hard when a plan doesnt go to plan (but then they rarely do..!) But as some have said, if she is set on living north and going to the falklands/cyprus etc temporarily and you are set on going to london (and neither of you wish to go where the other half is) then have a long-distance relationship for a while?

It is something you will have to work out between yourselves

Good luck and hope it all works out.

Maria

Thanks to you lovely ladies of the org who have given me some advice, and in turn here are some answers

Anna: In the Raf I am an armourer with a wide set of trade qualifications, but nothing that would really help me if i was to settle here, and also the money is not great in this area

Jessica Rabbit: If i was still in the Raf and we were married then yes I could go with her, but as i will b a civy I am not insured. I asked the boss about the change of heart and i was faced with no answer.

Miss Aplinestarhero: Yes June 09 is what I meant, I wish she did not wanna go but she has her heart set on it, and I will not stop her from going. It was a mutual decision as we both would be on more money and there are no family ties to the area (grand-parents have passed, mum and dad are working abroad and sisters live down south). She was looking at doing the same job but in the civial sector.

So i guess for a while i am stuck between a rock and a hard place, until we can decide whats gonna happen. Once again thank you very much

ATB
Jinxy

[Shellywoozle]

Big hugs to you chick, my advice in PM is pretty much the same, altho I didnt realise it was 3 x 6 month tours, I thought it was 3 x 2 month tours back to back.

I really hope you get it sorted to both your benefits and you are both happy bunnies.

I love it when a plan comes together and hate it when it falls apart !

Originally Posted by Jinxy43

Thanks to you lovely ladies of the org who have given me some advice, and in turn here are some answers

Anna: In the Raf I am an armourer with a wide set of trade qualifications, but nothing that would really help me if i was to settle here, and also the money is not great in this area

Jessica Rabbit: If i was still in the Raf and we were married then yes I could go with her, but as i will b a civy I am not insured. I asked the boss about the change of heart and i was faced with no answer.

Miss Aplinestarhero: Yes June 09 is what I meant, I wish she did not wanna go but she has her heart set on it, and I will not stop her from going. It was a mutual decision as we both would be on more money and there are no family ties to the area (grand-parents have passed, mum and dad are working abroad and sisters live down south). She was looking at doing the same job but in the civial sector.

So i guess for a while i am stuck between a rock and a hard place, until we can decide whats gonna happen. Once again thank you very much

ATB
Jinxy

Ah I see - I totally understand how you must be feeling. I guess all you can do is have a discussion with your g/f and decide what is going to happen.

Is money the only reason you wish to move to london? the reason I ask is because even though you might get paid more, the living costs are awfully higher which, in theory, means you could actually be better off where you already are? I live in London and want to move out with matt but the flats/houses here are just too expensive so we'll probably have to move outside of london.

Would you be happy to go on postings with her? Is it possible for your boss to arrange it? I guess no answer is better than an out-right no?

Keep your chin up, I am sure you will manage to sort things out If you are meant to be together then you will be, regardless of what happens.

Maria

[appollo1]

Originally Posted by Jinxy43

.
she also said she would like to go for 3, 6 month postings to the falkland islands, cyprus and finally gibralter, before she even thought of settling down with me. (She is a civy who works for the army)

Jinxy

Jinxy

Don't want to sound too depressing but how long have you been going out with your GF?
Reading what you've put in my mind makes it sound like she is not ready for commitment to you.

If need be get to club bar on Thursday night for an intro and a beer - not this week though on mid shift again!!

appollo

Appollo

I shall be there thurs this coming week the 12th, on nights for the 19th and will be there the 26th as starting Q on the 27th. about time we grabbed a beer together