New Riders and Big Bikes?

Now I can hardly talk, because I've had my licence almost 2 years, and only really ridden about 6000 miles...

But yesterday, I was sitting at some temporary traffic lights, and saw a guy riding down on his brand new GSXR1000, obviously feeling very smug... but could immediately tell his style of riding meant he was a bit rigid and looked like a new rider...

Now he came to the mini roundabout, decided to coast around it, and very very nearly came unstuck... put his foot down to "stop" the fall and then rode off.

Hopefully he learned his lesson and wont coast around corners, and hopefully especially wont put his foot down again!

But why buy a big fat bike if you dont even know how to ride it?

He comes under the section "All the gear, no idea". Unfortunately you get these types who have money, they buy all the latest kit but just don't have the fundemental skills to get the most out of them. Shame really, he would get on much better on a smaller cc bike and might not be so intimidated.

Jsut feel smug when you go round the outside of him on your diddy 70bhp SV.

I bet thats one storey he wouldn't be telling his mates

Coz he wants to have a GSXR Thou and can afford it ... he is probably 40 odd, wanted the GIXER and didn't want to spend the time going through the ranks ...

yes he probably underestimated the skills required

This seems a good place to post this, is something that was posted by a user of another forum.......

Let me explain I am a self confessed bike wh**e, I have no scrupples or pre defined ideas when it comes to bikes, I buy on a whim and sell it if I don't like it, around 4 years ago I got an option on a GSXR1100 with big bore kit and nitro'd ( yeah yeah insanity runs in the family - get over it - I do )

Riding this thing was the most uncomfortable bike I had ever ridden ( been riding for over 35 years) - jeeze man my botty ( can I use that word on here) was chewing caramels within 2 miles, so I decided to sell it through Autotrader.

First week nothing, so second week I fixed the price at ?2200 and added a picture - On the Saturday I gets a phone call. Conversation goes much like this.

Hello

[Twit]Hi, Do you still have the Yam for sale

Me thinks twit - No but I have a Suzuki for sale

[Twit]What colour is it

Err... what it says on the advert + it was a colour picture

[Twit]Are the plastics in good condition

Couldn't tell ya mate it is a streetfighter and doesnt have any as per picture

[Twit]Aye thats the right one - can I come and see it

Me still thinks twit - sure where are you coming from

[Twit]glasgow

Hmmm... me thinks twit wont come that far - I am 40 miles North of Inverness about 220 miles away

Gives him directions and comes off the phone and forgets about it

Four hours later he phones to say he was 20 miles away - I think sh*t I had better go and see if the bike will start! It did so I just waited on his arrival, then I saw it, I live down a single track road and can see for about a mile, here was this huge Merc driving down the road, driven by a woman that maybe 20 years before would have been a contender for Playboy. Then out he steps, I almost could not contain myself, he was dressed in one piece leathers, green, white and pink!!! you know the type of suit? totally fart proof, bubbles up from your botty and exits at your neck, Matching helmet, gloves and boots - honestly this guy looked like an overgrown packet of polo mints. Just to ad insult to injury the bike was stock Suzuki Blue and White.

So here he was with me trying desperately trying to contain my water looking around the bike asking really pertinent questions like whats the tyre pressure
So he says "can I take it out for a test ride", I say sure as long as you leave full price as deposit and show me a licence and insurance.

Well b*gger me if he did not say OK and then came the crunch he produced a provisional licence with a pass certificate - this mint tw*t had only passed his test a week before, his mate had pointed him in the direction of my bike hence the gaff about "Yam" in the original phone call, he had never even seen the advert - Jeeze we all need mates like that dont we?

I said sorry no way was I letting him out on my bike like that but I would take him pillion - this was agreed and in all this time Mrs Centrefold is looking totally disinterested. Anyway off we set for anyone that knows the area headed off through Tain to the Inver road alongside the old airfield- lovely long stretch of straight road where I said i would show him the Nitro working - I said I would tap him on the legs and let rip.

The next part would have made me a fortune if I had managed to get it on tape, 5th gear hitting 60 taps him on the leg and hissed Nitro boost - "Oh Jesus" (I screamed that cos I thought I was coming to meet him and although an atheist I hedge my bets) the front wheel left the deck - he fell backwards and his legs caught me under the arms and lifted my hands off the bars, riding along at 70mph+ front wheel in the air and us engaged in some sort of sordid gay sex ritual on the back. For some reason that day was not to be my last and I managed to get my hands on the bars before the front wheel came back down and regained composure - time to head home I think.

Back at my house he took off the helmet and I have never seen someones face that colour before it was completely devoid of blood, after a coffee for him to calm down he said he was interested But was not willing to offer my full asking price - says he will only go to ?2800 I had to seriously think about that, I mean ?600 more than I wanted what was I supposed to do.

So after formal discussions and the emptying of his wallet everything was sorted, My driveway where it meets the road has a dip that can even catch me out at times, here was the sugar plum fairy straight out of training camp on a GSXR1100 covering the rear brake and pulling off where he hits the dip, yanks back on the throttle and promptly hits the fence on the other side of the road.
After picking the bike out of the hedge I pointed it in the right direction for him and told him to phone me when he gets home ( yes I genuinely was worried ) for the mile I could see him I am sure he did not get out of 2nd gear.

Should have taken him about 4 hours max to get home, it was 9 hours before he phoned me to tell me he got home and then came the killer "Did I want to buy the bike back" Certainly not it's been dropped

I did get a phone call from a dealer about a week later asking me to confirm the mileage as the bike was getting traded in and it had done less than 200 miles since picking it up so I have a funny feeling he got it trailered part of the way home that night, cause it was trailered into the dealers - what did he buy?? I had to ask - a 600 Hornet.

One final little anecdote, when the the bike came to me the Nitro switch was not wired up so I fitted it to the horn button ( who needs a horn anyway - behave!!!) I always wondered if he would remember as hitting that by mistake would give new meaning to phrase "beep beep now ya bastid"

That was probably the funniest thing I've read so far this year

I've read this in various forms and in various places over the years: even been told it as a story that happened to someone on here one Friday night in Soho (I took a bucket of salt with the news...) The details vary slightly, sometimes it's a nitrous Gixxer, others it's a turbo V-Max, other times it's an r1... Essentially the same story I read in Back Street Heroes in the mid nineties. Probably never happened, but it makes an amusing idea.

Details don`t really matter... is still a very funny read

ha ha ha LOVED that storey, made me literally LOL and get a few strange looks from work people

superb - nothing to add except that has just had me in bits.