Idle Banter For non SV and non bike related chat (and the odd bit of humour - but if any post isn't suitable it'll get deleted real quick). There's also a "U" rating so please respect this. Newbies can also say "hello" here too. |
|
Thread Tools |
07-11-06, 05:19 PM | #1 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
Oldie but a goodie
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear.. "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?" I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. |
07-11-06, 05:30 PM | #2 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
superb
|
07-11-06, 05:30 PM | #3 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
|
07-11-06, 05:46 PM | #4 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
|
07-11-06, 06:51 PM | #5 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
Fair play to the bloke who tries that out for real!!
|
07-11-06, 07:36 PM | #6 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
Do women ever actually say that?
|
07-11-06, 11:07 PM | #7 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
There's nothing wrong with just being held once in a while you know!!!
NO women really don't say that! Fantastic!! |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Newbie but oldie (sort of) Bishop Auckland | Fletch SV | Pennine Massive | 1 | 18-04-07 08:52 AM |
Probably an oldie but I hadn’t seen it before | rictus01 | Idle Banter | 6 | 07-10-06 09:40 AM |
definitely an oldie | embee | Idle Banter | 3 | 02-10-06 09:46 PM |
Oldie but goodie | TC3 | Idle Banter | 11 | 23-05-06 09:53 PM |