The Highway Code (Unwritten version)

Here's a little game that is being played at a driving instructor forum that I use. Obviously, it's generally related to learners there but I could easily be adapted for bikers. Here goes...


We all (should) know there are 307 rules in the latest Highway code.

What about those mysterious rules that drivers appear to think exist such as:

Rule 308: In queueing traffic, if you hear/see a motorcyclist filtering between lanes, immediately close the gap or change lanes. They are scum and have no rights whatsoever.

Rule 309: If you are following a motorcyclist and you are both emerging left, feel free to pull up alongside them at the give way markings and then set off as though they don't exist. They will know exactly what you intend to do and will fall over sideways just to get out of your way.



So, let's hear yours.

[Mej]

Rule 310: If you are driving along at about 40-50 on a freeflowing 60mph single carrage way and you are startled by the motorcyclist that has suddenly appeared in your rear view mirror, quickly swerve to the left to let them past, then realise you have swerved too far and are now on the grass and swerve back to avoid crashing, calmly knocking off the motorcyclist who is passing as he thought you were letting him past

(Almost happend to me a few times)

Rule 311: Dont look in mirror, dont indicate, just pull straight into the biker next to you

[cymroboi]

rule 312:dont bother looking twice or even three times when pulling out of a junction just go

Rule 313: When you see a motorcyclist filtering and going to go through the gap you had left for the last 5 minutes floor it and pull out to the right. The motorcyclist is trained for this and will get crushed in between your bonnet and the boot of the car in front

312. when pulling our from a side junction nearly ending a motorcclists life in the process.

look indignant
swear at the motorcyclist
apologise to the friend you were calling at the time, eplaining that some yob had the indecency to nearly get blood on your paintwork

[dizzyblonde]

313. Complete ignorance is to be used if motorcyclist blares on horn, whilst they stand stationary in the middle of the road...no matter how loud or how long.






.....especially if you are a vicar!

rule whatever...When filling with diesel ,make sure that you spill plenty of it onto the forcourt,so the following biker falls on his ass

(renumber
Custard 314
Dizzy 315
Gid 316)

Fenjer: 317: SMIDSY is an acceptable excuse when any change of direction is hindered by a motorcyclist

317
when behind a biker slowing for a red light 500m ahead sweve around behind beep horn and flash lights (ask speed play)

318
when in cage argueing with biker mouth like f*** untill 6"8 irish one gets off and comes to your window then phone police

319
if you see a l plate on a bike feel free to intimidate them especially when there in the middle of a 3 bike convoy with a flat tyre just trying to make it safely 500m down the road to the bike shop again untill 6"8 husband reminds you of common decency