xXBADGERXx and the "Barmouth or Bust" Ride Out - Another epic post :)

Preparation for the “Barmouth or Bust” Ride out , or “BoB” as I like to call it


Well it is Thursday morning in the Badger`s Sett and I am shuffling around like a Zombie in my pre-work preparation , it involves lots of yawning and scratching myself and turning around in circles trying to remember what it was I was going to do . One of my best mates Daughter is lodging with me for a few weeks after a boyfriend split scenario and she comments that it was about a year ago when I got my SV . This jolts me into thinking “Hmmmm MOT is due quite soon” , I shuffle over to my folder where I keep stuff like that and rummage around to get the last MOT certificate . I unfold it and my eyes bulge …….. “Sh!t” , Zoe asks what’s up and I pass her the certificate . She starts laughing as the MOT expires the very next day …….. all hope is gone , I’m doomed as the weather is very agreeable and all the Winter lay offs will be heading towards bike shops in their droves to get an MOT .

I formulate a plan and a couple of hours later it is opening time for bike shops all over the land , If I ring slightly before opening time I stand a good chance of getting a boss or owner who will be greedy for money and will want my desperate business , no MOT , No BoB rideout . I try one place and explain the situation and I am told that they can squeeze me in Tuesday , I thank him for his time and will get back to him if I can’t get one sooner . The next place isn’t open yet …… DOH!!!!! . Third attempt and I call another shop and the owner answers , there is hope . He shuffles some papers around and looks in a book and asks one of the lads if they can squeeze me in for 4pm on Friday , I hear a positive-ish answer and the owner says “Yeah mate , get here for 4 and we can fit you in” , Reeee-heeeeee-Sult . I finish work and Pagger home as fast as I can and get the bike in ship-shape fashion and give her a clean as well .

The next day I finish work and I am worried about something being a fly in the ointment on the MOT . I deliver the bike to the Shop’s bike park , they are running late . I am pacing up and down and fretting , one of the counter guys asks me what is wrong and I explain that the pipe is a tad “fruity” even with the baffle in , they reply “I am sure it will be fine” . The next thing I look out the window and there is a young feller sitting astride my bike with no helmet on putting the key in the lock , I instantly get a bit of Red mist seeing somebody else on my bike . He thumbs the start button and the bike barks into life and his head nearly disappears into his shoulders in fright ……. Ooops . The 2 counter guys give each other a strange look and I think “That can is going to get me a nice big fat fail” , then to my horror I see the tester almost drop the bike as he rides it out of the bike park , I go outside and there is a big fat bit of wood on the ground so I pick it up and chuck it into the hedges .

I go back inside and pace a bit more and check out some bits , I spot a nice chain cleaning brush and pick it up , the end flops to one side , clearly broken and I put it down and walk away from it . One of the guys starts cracking jokes with me to pass the time and I swap a few back and before you know it there is a load of us laughing at the counter and having a blast until we hear a bike rumble down along the side of the building , one of the lads says “That sounds nice” and I recognize it as my own bike . The tester walks in a minute later and I am fretting beyond belief , I ask him if everything is ok and he nods and hands me the Pass Certificate . One of the guys at the counter says “What , NO advisories” , the tester says “Nope” , I mention that I thought the can would get me a fail and he replies “That’s how they should sound mate” ……. Happy days . MOT is in the pocket and the BoB rideout is ON .

“BoB” day has arrived – The Ride In


I am awake with the birds this morning and have a couple of hours to kill , I drop my Video and Digital Cameras into my Kriega rucksack , throw some cable ties in there in case another Orger needs a quick fix for something loose , a multitool , bungee web and 2 bungee cords , and lastly I chuck the baffle , bolt and allen key in there …. You never know . I ring the Ponderosa and tell them to expect about 50 bikers in an hour or so . The other Orgers are riding en-masse but seeing as myself and a few others are fairly local we are meeting at the Pondy . Ed has PM`d me and asked if I would lead the ride from the Pondy to Barmouth . I fear that I would get too excited and go for it and forget to tell the rider behind me to mark a junction . I drop him a PM back and say that Luckypants is a fast rider and knows this area like the back of his and his Children’s hands . I am all prepped and only have to suit up , a quick walk with the Dog and a Shower and I am ready . I Suit up , throw my U-Tag I.C.E. USB device around my neck and head off out to meet GenesisMike at work . 20 minutes later I arrive and he is there 5 minutes before meeting time so we get going almost immediately . We ride from St.Asaph and head for Ruthin so I can fuel up . The ride is uneventful and I am scanning the area for side traffic and tractors , on a long stretch of road I spot 3 skinny long necks in the Grass , there are 3 Pheasants there and they are eyeballing the road for a crossing , I look at them and think “Don’t you dare , I’ve just cleaned this thing” …. We pass by without Mike or myself making “A” road Pheasant Pâté . A quick fuel stop at Ruthin and we head out up onto the Nant-Y-Garth pass …… I spot another 2 lights behind GenesisMike and in front of me is a Gold Wing trundling up the pass , I decide to give him some SV un-Baffled love and pagger it past him . I turn off for Llangollen and pull over so Mike can re-group , a few seconds later I look in my mirrors and spot Mike and the 2 lights behind him are Luckypants and Speedy Claire …… result . A quick bimble later and we are at the Ponderosa , one of North Wales finest arrives on a bike and does a tour of the car park (He’s gonna radio this little lot in and he has no idea that the amount of bikes here is going to Quadruple shortly) . We go inside to shake hands with old faces and new .

I pop outside and arm myself with the Video camera . DaveP joins me and I mention that it would be sweet to go to the far corner looking down the valley and film everybody coming up the pass from Llangollen . I think about it for a few seconds more and think “Sod it – it’s gotta be done” . It’s a long walk but I arrive at a nice spot and lurk with intent . The wind is blowing a hooly up here and I am rocking on the spot from the blasts and in the distance I am sure I can hear the blarp of a Ducati . I squint down in the valley and a wondrous sight and sound emerges , I flip the camera open and start filming them overtaking a couple of cars right down in the valley , I grin to myself as I witness the awesome power or the Org arriving in a loudsome fashion …… a truly great moment for myself and I am proud to see my friends , old and new , giving it some stick . A load of cyclists come past and I think to myself “They are in for a shock” . A couple of Org leaders come hammering up the hill for the last bend and I am crouched down with the camera rested on a Plastic Bollard …… I wave at Pete and Lissa as they go past but a couple of riders don’t know me , JumJum hauls on the anchors as he thinks I am Police but I motion them past , a few wave , a few more approach cautiously but it looked good . I look at the camera and realize the bloody thing is in Standby and I am gutted to have missed a bloody good opportunity to post a wicked bit of film , I film a few more coming past and I spot the Yellow Fire Blade being piloted by Hovis , he gives me a wave and has a little direction change and gives me a blart from his sweet Hindle pipe , it sounds awesome , Lily and Drew give me a wave and a few more get filmed on the way past . I walk back to the Pondy and film them all in the car park giving me camera abuse ….. bloody thing is in standby mode again and nearly gets hurled into the valley as it missed some funny banter there too (really must read the manual to see if I can sort the timer out on that ) . Breakfasts are consumed and drinks are gulped down and we start to congregate outside . Bikes are formed into a line and the BoB ride out starts for me but continues for others .

The “BoB” is on (names of Roads withheld for future ride safety)


We head down into the Valley and make our way along some nice sedate bends and settle into a running order , a few overtakes and some of the faster riders come past me on various sports bikes but I am at the head of the SV pack and hoping a few of them will overtake me so I can hear their cans ……. Hardly anybody comes past and I am starting to wonder why . We eventually get to a big “A” road and I notice Luckypants and a few other bikes pulled over , I pull in and there is some confusion , Somebody tells me that one of the Triumph riders has had an accident , I ask which one and somebody mentions a TT , damn …… I ask if he is in one piece and nobody knows the score yet as it is too early . DaveP pulls up alongside and informs me that it is his mate Andy and his ride is over because he has to go and see if he is ok . I contemplate going with him in case there is any local help they may need and ask DaveP if he knows where he is going , he says he is fine . This is why I wasn’t overtaken a lot at the beginning . We are filling the car park and tourists need to get in and out , we pull out and immediately drop into a little lay by to regroup , as I get off the bike I notice a Green Kawasaki starting to wobble as the rider steps off into a bit of Grass that is lower than the road , I start running and watch in horror as the bike topples over and hits the deck , I get there just as it is up righted , I give the mirror a quick wipe and say “There There , you’ll be alright” hoping the rider doesn’t get too rattled about it and can forget about it in the comedy moment and enjoy the rest of the ride ….. no harm done apart from a mirror scuff . I am informed that Luckypants has gone on ahead , I usher a few stragglers back onto the ride out and we get a move on , I see the junction we should be taking and it isn’t marked , Pete and Lissa blarp past and mark it before the lights change but it is too late , a considerable bunch of riders have gone on ahead , one notices and spins around but the others have their heads down and their tails up and they are off ….. they will soon realize something is amiss , we regroup yet again to see who is missing .

The missing list consists of quite a few and as we are sending texts to those that are missing , DarylB pulls up , Seggons is missing in action and a few people I don`t know . Luckypants decides to baffle up as the Police will well and truly know we are around partly due to the car park scan , a couple of Policemen in an unmarked at the Pondy and an obvious one turned up off a side road when we set out and Andy on the TT having an off . We set off again and get going in good and orderly fashion and hit one of the nicest roads in the area , there is a lot of scenery here and at one point we run parallel with a small gauge railway line through some countryside around a Lake , I can only think that those that have never been here are about to see some spectacular scenery ……. In true fashion the weather darkens a bit and spots of rain hit the visor . I ride defensively on these lanes and hit the warning blinkers if I see a car coming towards us to alert them and our group . We burble through a small Hamlet with a tight bridge on it and a glimpse of the Peninsular is seen , there is going to be a few eyes opening a bit when we get nearer .

We hit a bigger road and get a wriggle on , we are on the edge of the Evergreen forests and the countryside is going to get steeper and more rugged with the roads twisting and banking a bit more for a fair few miles . The road gets more progressive and the Org gets to breathe a bit and get a wriggle on . The scenery starts to become spectacular here and the tops of the craggy mountains are wreathed in clouds , there is a fair bit of Road kill here which is a sure sign of the Forest and wildlife getting into the full swing of things , there are swathes of Daffodils peppering shaded patches along the side of the road , I get wafts of wild Garlic and the smell of the undergrowth and I inhale deeply , occasionally there is the waft of something dead ….. but it will bring new life to something else . We round a corner and right in front of us is a wooden bridge and a train rattles it’s way over it , Welcome to Barmouth people . We rumble our way through the road-cut cliff sides and descend into the town itself with hot cans backfiring and various bikes all adding their voice to the Org chorus , a chorus of many different voices all with the same purpose , be it a Suzuki , a Yamaha , a Kawasaki or a Honda …… Italian bikes like Ducati and Aprilia and not forgetting the various modern Triumphs …….. Ladies and Gentlemen one and all , you have made it to Barmouth without the “Bust” .

Dinner and waiting for the “Bust” ones to arrive


There is a swift Fuel stop in the worlds smallest Petrol forecourt and I notice Neio is here , I wasn’t even aware he was on the ride out and stop for a natter with him , we all head off for the car park on the Promenade and have some banter and break away to various places for snacks and P!ss taking . As we walk towards the Sea front I see DaveP with his Mrs. on the back and am glad he managed to catch up with us , his mate is fine and alive , The bike was collected and Andy’s dad was en-route to collect him so relief that the guy was relatively unscathed and happy to see Dave and his Mrs. have made it . One bike scratched off the “Bust” list . Some of us pile into a local emporium of fine snackery for a Rat-Burger , I notice a Pink fluffy glove on the floor , I pick it up and say to Baph “You’ve dropped a glove mate” he looks at the floor and I plop the glove on top of his lid , he rolls his eyes and gives me a weary look and I laugh my ass off . Rat-Burgers in tow we head outside . I spot a giant Ice-Cream and decide I want a picture with it , I fetch my Digital Camera out and turn it on and am greeted with the message “Insert Memory Stick” ………. It’s in the printer at home , I am not having any luck with cameras this weekend . GenesisMike obliges and takes the piccy .

(Mmmmm Yummay)


(Recipe for the Fiercest Heartburn ever – Rat-Burger avec Grande Café-au-Nasty)



Some more Banter is exchanged and we contemplate going on the Wurlitzer with our lids on but I am sure we would get refused …. Then again business looked a bit slack , next time eh folks . We head back and natter amongst ourselves and in the background we hear an SV ……. Seggons arrives to glorious applause , Skeetly had been on a detour as well and had almost got back home again J , a Red Ducati turns up which I presume was Cog Head and a couple of others have arrived , it seems we have the majority of everybody here now and loads of bikes are crossed off the “Bust” list . Seggons removes his lid and I say “Nice one mate , we’re off now so don’t get comfortable” …. His face drops and I assure him we are kidding and to grab a brew and point Percy at the Porcelain …. And to check his phone for texts from Lissa (Ride out tip – if separated on a ride out , make sure you have at least someone else’s number on your phone that will probably not be with you in the pack) . DarylB wanders past with his Mrs. and is clutching a bag of Pink CandyFloss , I dare him to post a picture on the Org later on with it as a beard . Peaches produces a Tennis ball and we have a little kick around , it gets chucked at Drew a lot and I get hold of it and notice Hovis has his back turned and I aim for his lid , he senses a disturbance in the force and moves and it misses by the merest millimeter , I was willing it to hit him on the Brain-Bucket so I could hear the response “Oi , whatyouplayinatboyo” . Eventually we have to get a move on and Ed gives us a quick heads up as to who is leading us on the final leg of the “BoB” ride out and that there are some places to take it easy as the corners are tight . DaveP points out that he is going to have to fill up and try and find a local tire place as his rear tire is not too good , I look at it and he’s right and am gutted for him that he made it here to be with us and had to go off again , I say “Listen , you have meat on the edges so take it easy when upright and try and limp it home , you’ll be fine in the corners , just don’t hammer on the straights and drop back a bit – you have no chance of a tire around here” ……… he decides that he is gonna have to find somewhere but it is already 4pm and we are MILES away from anything resembling a tire or bike shop .

We head out after forming up and there is a local marching band on the corner with cheerleaders , They are about to get drowned out by our Chorus . Baph halts the traffic and allows us out in one massive rumbling thread (nice move there feller) and the Org is on it’s way again , I notice DaveP filling up in the station and his eyes look like this .



Gutted mate , really gutted , I wave bye-bye to him and trundle back up the Road hewn into the cliffs and commence the best part of the ride out , we eventually get to the sticks again and it’s biking country . We all get a shoofty on and open`em up a bit and the road is a pure joy , snaking and twisting to a lower altitude , I have been here quite a few times but only coming up it . I hoof it past a Yellow Curvy on a straight (I do apologize for the noise but SV needed a leg stretch) and decide to start taking scalps . I give chase to a Pointy with Top box but get stuck right on the back end of some cars coming into a 30 . We turn off onto a back road and the Ducati Hypermotard arrives right on my butt , I move over so he can play , it’s just the sort of place where one of these bikes gets to shine and who am I to get in their way ……. I also spot Luckypants behind me and realize he is a person I need to follow as we are soon splitting off from the main pack to head home , I move out of his way and he blarts past with his Staintune pipes wailing , with baffles in they still sound sweet .

There are some road works here so we manage to all group up again and a Red 4x4 goes past and I note the license plate is “B4 GER” …. I got all excited as it’s the closest thing to Badger I have ever seen on a number plate . We are off again and the sweet road ends and we reach a bit of civilization and drop into a 30 and are going over a stone bridge , I spot a rather flash Audi coming from the opposite direction and give him a blatt from the un-baffled Scorpion stubby and immediately the naked Pointy behind me does the same (he obviously had the same idea at the same time as both blatts were right after each other) I chuckle to myself and progress through the village . There is some traffic coming into the NSL and various people do some nice progressive overtakes and I get a sense that my break off point is very soon , I spot Seggons on the Horizon and the lad is shifting for a restricted SV , I gun it after him and overtake him and almost over cook it due to tiredness , a couple of more bends and I spot a junction marker and pull over behind Luckypants , GenesisMike arrives and all we need is Speedy Claire and Skeetly and we have our homeward bound entourage together .

We mark the junction as the person marking it sees we are here and stopped and can do it for him . Somebody still manages to go past but we flag them down and direct them into the correct road . The Green Kawasaki comes up to the junction and guns it up the marked road and his bike sounds “World Superbike Sweet” , we manage to filter out our locals from the pack and eventually Ed arrives with DarylB and we know that everybody is on course for their final run home . We all say goodbye and shake hands for a good ride out and Ed and DarylB head off , time for us to head off as well .

The Final leg and the moment I nearly met my maker


Luckypants leads us home and we decide to have a nice gentle bimble , nothing major and quite a bit of spectacular “B” Road . There are some impressive views here and we burble through some very small villages , we scuttle around some nice sweeping and hilly bends and it is all very sedate and calming . I think to myself that this must be some of the loudest noises these sleepy Villages and Hamlets have ever heard . We gain some altitude and drop down a bit and Luckypants points at a dead Badger next to the side of the road …….. cheers . We start to get some more altitude and the countryside stops becoming hills and more like moors and downs , Luckypants points to the right and the view is jaw dropping , you can see for absolutely miles , the sun is out and the clouds are leaving shadows over the moors , it’s amazing . I look back and see a tight corner approaching and there is a rocky waterfall here , I slow down and corner and as the bike turns , both wheels let go a bit on some gravel and I remind myself not to go too near the edge and move over a bit . We hit the top of the moors and head back down , there is a tight looking corner here and it is not very wide . Luckypants goes around the corner and I see him flinch a little , and this is the moment where my life changed . A huge flatbed lorry is barreling around the corner , the type that carries a broken down vehicle on it’s back and I think “Sh!t this is going to be close” , I am too near the central White line and cutting it close , then I hear a bang and this bloody thing is towing a second section like a trailer behind it ……………… the back wheels of the trailer have hit the edge of the rocky road and the trailer front corner swings out into view ………. My world goes into Matrix style bullet time and the world slows down to a crawl ………. I can hear wind noise , no bike noises and I am staring Death in the face , the corner of the trailer is heading for my helmet at neck height . I am at peace with the world , I am going to Die doing what I love ……. My only regrets are that Skeetly , Speedy Claire and GenesisMike are going to witness it first hand , one of my parents are going to have to identify a terrible mess and I hope it kills me Dead on the spot as I do not wanna be out here , maimed and friends trying to save a sorry mess whilst waiting for an air ambulance ……. Who is gonna feed the Dog as well .




The trailer must have jerked on the hitch and it whips out of view mere inches from my face and I flinch as I take avoiding action that seems to be far too late anyway . I am still expecting the thud of Steel on Flesh and it doesn’t come “Oh my GOD Oh my God , F***ing Hell , I made it , I made it , I MADE IT” ……. The tears stream down my eyes from the shock and I am done , I can’t see and I beep my horn , indicate that I am pulling over and Skeetly goes past . I am crawling and the shock hits my system , I flip the Visor up and the tears dry up in my eyes and I decide to keep rolling , we just happen to come to the junction of Bala and I pull over and tell Lucky and the rest what has happened , I am Pale and shaking and I’m done in , Skeetly is pee`in himself laughing at the state I am in and said it “Did look close” , I start laughing and the others bring me back down to Earth with the promise of a Coffee in Bala . We head off to a very “nice” Café , very pleasant and sedate and calming , just the place for an upset Badger to hide in for 20 minutes . I spot some cake but I am torn between that and a rather spectacular looking Ice cream , Skeetly buys us all a hot drink and I make enquiries about the Ice Cream ….. it’s Rum and Raisin . Cake for the Win .

(One for Grinch`s Cake Thread)


Once consumed and warmed up we decide to head off , Lucky and Speedy are going off in one direction and Skeetly , GenesisMike and myself are going in another , after a bit of a junction miss we spin around and I lead us out of Bala , the road that links us to the A5 is ahead and we scuttle along it , after 7 miles I point out where the Bunkhouse is for the last NW run and for the one ahead . We hit the A5 and I pull over to mention to GenesisMike that he would be quicker going over the moors to Denbigh rather than go to Betwys with Skeetly and I . Skeetly hoons off and Mike goes for it but I hold back , I have been clocked twice on this road and there is a massive straight ahead and I don’t want points as I have never had them in 18 years of riding and I am not getting them today either . Eventually I see a “Safe” straight and give Mike a final open pipe flyby and he peels off for his run home and that leaves just Skeetly and myself , we are in the town that caused so much agro on NW4 with the boys in Blue moving our junction marker , I am paranoid and sticking to the limits to the dot . Behind me is a Silver Jaguar and he is being a complete Dork of the highest order , we hit the NSL and he is right on my tail and swerves out around me , I am not in the right state of play for this and this is where accidents happen , he guns it past me and goes after Skeetly , I stick to my gut feeling and stay back , we get to the bends and Skeetly is dusting him off through them and then hits traffic , Jaguar “Driver” is sat behind Skeetly and looks like he is trying to take him and has no chance , he overtakes some cars and Mr. Frustrated is looking for a chance , I know there is only one place to do this and here it is , he goes for it and a car comes in the opposite direction , the Jag swerves in and cuts up the guy he has overtaken and his plums shrink a little and he slows down , I made a mental note of the Reg in case he causes an accident and does a runner . We get to Betwys and I am praying he turns onto my section of road as that has plenty of overtaking spots and has been my stamping ground for the last 18 years …… he goes into Betwys . I have the road to myself anyway and I carry on and enjoy the pleasantness of an early evening ride home , Everything looks more colorful , smells better and feels better . I gun it down the last bit home and roll into my town , I slow the bike to 30 and roll her the last bit sedately , I get to my corner and a Policeman is talking to a local , I roll the throttle off and the exhaust “popples” and catches his attention , right on cue she backfires and he shakes his head . I roll up to my driveway , store the bike and head inside and flop on the settee and remove my kit , glad to be home at last .

I chilled out with a Curry and the company of the Dog , but when I closed my eyes in bed at night I could still see the trailer and woke up many times ………… it didn’t get me Physically and it will not beat me Psychologically . Today I feel better about it


I would like to thank Ed for the organizing , all the people that were Leading in various forms and all the TEC`s , those that blocked junctions to let us out and those that marked them , we all got home safe , not all of us made it , but we got home safe ………. Well done one and all and I look forward to riding with you all again .

[Dave20046]

I love you stories badge
Sound like a proper mot centre


(although might be worth removing the mot centres name incase vosa go sniffing)

Blimey Badger, change of undercrackers moment me thinks?

Did your life flash before your eyes? or just the corner of the trailer?

I bet it hit you later on when you were thinking back about it.

I have just got back from delivering my Kwacker to its new owner in Stafford. Cried all the way home in the car. had to console myself by counting all the £50 notes when I got home.

I am now officially bikeless

Firts orger to lay claim on it, can have my almost new Abba bike stand for nowt, as long as your prepared to collect it from Holywell. It has the adaptors you need for the SV. PM me if you want it. First come, first served.

Glad you all had a good day, with only one real casualty. Hope the TT isnt too badly damaged.

Les

[Luckypants]

Muwahahaha! I have the mod stick......

[Luckypants]

Originally Posted by Learningcurve

Firts orger to lay claim on it, can have my almost new Abba bike stand for nowt, as long as your prepared to collect it from Holywell. It has the adaptors you need for the SV. PM me if you want it. First come, first served.
Les

You have PM!

And you Sir, have an almost new Abba stand!

Ive sent you a message back.