SV650.org - SV650 & Gladius 650 Forum



Idle Banter For non SV and non bike related chat (and the odd bit of humour - but if any post isn't suitable it'll get deleted real quick).
There's also a "U" rating so please respect this. Newbies can also say "hello" here too.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-01-12, 08:40 PM   #61
metalangel
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

The three wise men arrive at the stable. As they go in, the tallest one bangs his head on the beams.

"Jesus Christ!," he yells.

"Quick, write that down Mary," shouts Joseph, "it's a lot better than 'Kevin'".
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-12, 10:53 PM   #62
Jayneflakes
Member
Mega Poster
 
Jayneflakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: an etherial plain, far far away
Posts: 2,120
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by wyrdness View Post
The new movie 'Iron Lady', about the life of Mrs Thatcher, has been classified PG. Apparently it's unsuitable for miners.
I am stealing that one!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Von Teese View Post
Jayne, I really must say that you do love that pussy!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Littlepeahead View Post
Jayne you're a Pussy Magnet
My bar swap and custom suspension

Buy my latest novel and help fund my addiction to strippers and Lego.
Jayneflakes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-12, 10:56 PM   #63
The Idle Biker
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Talking of the Iron Lady, when she pops her clogs, do you think the proposed State Funeral should be privatised?
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-12, 10:58 PM   #64
DJFridge
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Idle Biker View Post
Talking of the Iron Lady, when she pops her clogs, do you think the proposed State Funeral should be privatised?
Quick, tell Sid!
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-12, 11:39 PM   #65
The Idle Biker
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by DJFridge View Post
Quick, tell Sid!
ssshhh no way, I can see a 2,000 word essay on the evils of anything slightly left of Ronald Regan coming our way.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-12, 03:01 PM   #66
grh1904
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Let's Play BLOCKBUSTERS...................................













What "D" is Bob Holness????
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-12, 03:07 PM   #67
Dave20046
Member
Mega Poster
 
Dave20046's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Sheffield
Posts: 10,274
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

decomposing?
__________________
Dave20046 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-12, 05:58 PM   #68
wyrdness
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Bob Holness bumps into Amy Winehouse in the afterlife, and the first thing she says to him is "Can I have an E please Bob?"
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-12, 05:30 AM   #69
BanannaMan
Member
 
BanannaMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Appalachia
Posts: 419
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green,red,orange,blue,and yellow. The old man Just stared.

Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.
__________________
...Bill

"The Mountains are calling and I must go"

BanannaMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-12, 06:38 PM   #70
tinpants
Ubique
 
tinpants's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire
Posts: 643
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

A Royal Engineer moved to London after his discharge and went to Harrod's looking for a job.

The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?'

The young man answered, 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home before I joined the Corps.'

The manager liked the Sapper so he gave him the job.

His first day was challenging and busy, but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked,

'OK, so how many sales did you make today?'

The Sapper said, 'One!'

The manager groaned and continued, 'Just one?

Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day

'How much was the sale for?'
'£124,237.64p..'

The manager choked and exclaimed £124,237.64!!

What the hell did you sell him?'

'Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook

and then I sold him a new fishing rod.'

'Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at

the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the

boat department and I sold him that twin-engine Power Cat.'

'Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4x4.

The manager, incredulous, said, 'You mean to tell me...a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a 4x4?'

'No, no, no... he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his lady friend and I said...

"Well, since your weekend's buggered, you might as well go fishing".
__________________
Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're a pillock
tinpants is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here fizzwheel Idle Banter 4533 02-12-11 09:28 PM
This will probably go into the comedy club plowsie Idle Banter 4 23-09-08 01:16 PM


All times are GMT. The time now is 09:14 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® - Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.